


One and Only

by wcdarling



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Alien Biology, Alien Culture, Alien Gender/Sexuality, Cardassia, Childbirth, Dating, Drama, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Explicit Sexual Content, Friendship, Gen, Gender Identity, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Hate Crimes, Hurt/Comfort, Interspecies Sex, M/M, Mpreg, Multi, Nonbinary Character, Nonmonogamous Relationship, Polyamory, Post-Canon, Post-Canon Cardassia, Smut, Threesome, Threesome - M/M/Other, Xenobiology, Xenophobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-31
Updated: 2016-10-04
Packaged: 2018-08-12 03:13:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 40,151
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7918279
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wcdarling/pseuds/wcdarling
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nearly four years after the Dominion assault on Cardassia, Elim Garak finds himself in a very good place. He's got a new job, he's married to Julian Bashir, and things are getting back to normal. Then one day by chance Garak meets someone whose life isn't going quite so well. Can he help? A story of an interspecies friendship that grows into more than any party anticipates. A sequel to "Altering Course" by AuroraNova.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Down in the Archive

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Altering Course](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5278406) by [AuroraNova](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AuroraNova/pseuds/AuroraNova). 



> This story comes from a combination of wanting to do a post-Canon Cardassia fic, wanting to follow up on ["Altering Course"](http://archiveofourown.org/works/5278406)* by Aurora Nova, and wanting to play with some biology that appears in another universe -- which I won't name because _spoilers_ (cough cough). So bringing these elements all together, I have spun out this fic. 
> 
> A couple more notes: 
> 
> 1) Ratings and tags on this story will change as chapters are added. I can't add all at once or there'd be all kinds of spoilers. 
> 
> 2) Yes, there is an MPREG tag. But it's a scientific MPREG, not magical or unexplained or "just go with it," so even if that weirds you out, you will survive it. I swear.
> 
> 3) I expect this to run about a dozen chapters. So far I have 11 outlined and it's winding down. As far as posting frequency, probably at least once a week. But they'll all be long-ish chapters and I have a FT job, so I won't be cranking out daily or anything.
> 
> 4) UPDATE (10/2) - You will notice "Explicit" tag. If this is not your thing, note that this only applies to one chapter in the story, so you can skip over that chapter. You will lose none of the plot.
> 
>  * I love "Altering Course" so much! I have read it over and over. [I suggest you do](http://archiveofourown.org/works/5278406/chapters/12181718). It is not "required" reading to understand this story, but it sure would help, as it sets things up. I am borrowing the set-up and original characters from it. Also, it's awesome! So you should read it!

As he walked the streets of Kardasi’or toward the Central Library, Elim Garak felt wonder at how good a day it had been. Even after three years of good days, days that on average had been growing better and better, he still found he could not take them for granted. There had been a time, and a long time at that, when things like personal happiness, companionship, and certainly love and family, had been in very short supply. How different things were these days.

Why, here he was, in the heart of the capital, nearly four years ago decimated by the Dominion assault, and the streets and buildings were looking passable. Government buildings had at last been rebuilt. There were apartments and shops, crowds bustled, outdoor markets were open — finally with home-produced food — and both public transit and some private vehicles were operating. It was not the city of his youth, but it was no longer a devastated ruin. There were touches of beauty once more — bits of public art, small parks, flowering bushes. Even two years prior, the scene would have been hard to imagine, but there been a lot of good days, and piled together, they had resulted in a people’s dreams running ahead of schedule.

Then there was his own life. He had only a half hour earlier signed a contract for a professorship in Kardasi literature at Kardasi’or University. When, in the second phase of courtship, his now-husband Julian has asked him what his “long term plan” was, he had merely dared to name such a position as a distant possibility. Never had he thought the day would come so soon. After the Dominion assault, he’d served as _pur-nim_ of Elgin’kor District – coordinating rations, rebuilding, food gardens, sanitation, eventually even seeing parks built. He had thought the hard work would never end, but eventually, the district had reached the point where it did not demand nearly so much attention, and when his niece Inda, now a university student, had mentioned the open position, he had leapt at the opportunity. And he now had it in his hands. He would start teaching in a few weeks, when the term began. 

But now he was at the library to meet with its director. Actually, strictly speaking he was there because he planned to be using the library in preparation for his courses, but he had arranged a meeting with Ran Madgred as a matter of courtesy. They had, after all, become acquainted over the past few years as Elim had donated superfluous volumes from his private library to the state archive or allowed rare editions to be scanned and duplicated. A check-in seemed appropriate. 

With a permissive nod from the head secretary, Elim entered the director's office to find Madgred at a desk half-buried in PADDs. 

" _Salmakt_ , Director Madgred," he greeted. "I must say you present the perfect image of a library director."

Madgred grinned thinly. " _Salmakt_ , Mr. Garak. Or is it now _Professor_ Garak?" 

"Professor. I was just officially signed on." 

"Ah, then congratulations. Please sit and let us chat, professor."  

A small rush of pleasure went through Elim at this first use of his new title. 

“Let me tell you about some of our latest upgrades…"

What followed was a lengthy, though pleasant, discussion of library repairs — nearly completed, at long last — along with updates on collections now once more available, digitization projects, and even work on ancient literature archives. A longer conversation than Elim expected, but he had nowhere to be and was happy to hear that so many excellent resources would be available both to him and his future students.

A newly available copy of a long repressed Kardasi epic? Was he interested in perusing it? The question was properly how soon could he get a copy. 

It was when Madgred mentioned work on a translation of the _Na’Satt_ sagas that Elim’s interest was truly piqued, however. This ancient Hebitian work was legendary, although he had heard intermittent rumors of efforts to have it fully restored and translated. 

“The  _Na’Satt_?” Elim asked. “Is that a fact? You have someone working on this now?"

“Yes, down in the archive,” Madgred confirmed. “Tangent Agiv, our late distinguished senior Hebitian expert, had been working on it for nearly twenty years, but he was killed in the bombardment. Along with several other archivists, I might add. So work had come to a halt. Frankly, we had other things that were higher priority, but we’re glad to have the project moving forward again."

“You found a new Hebitian expert?” Elim surmised.

Madgred shook his head faintly. “Not exactly, but someone who could do the work. In fact, you might enjoy meeting him.” He rose to his feet. “I’d speak more but I actually have a meeting in just a minute. I would suggest, if you’re interested in the project, heading down to the archive. Ask for Katagen."

Elim rose and inclined his head. “Thank you. I appreciate the time you’ve taken to speak with me."

“And I appreciate all you’ve done for Kardasia."

A minute later and he was in the halls of the library, admiring the renovation work and noting staff busily filing data rods, working at computer consoles, and otherwise keeping the machine running. Kardasia was getting back to normal. 

He approached a young worker, looking to be fresh out of university. "Pardon me, but where might I find the archive?"

"Well, the nearest stairs are that way," he supplied, gesturing to the end of the room. "I'd avoid the turbolift – they say is fixed but I don't trust it personally. Just follow the stairs down to the bottom public level. Below that, it's a sub-basement. Anyway, you'll be in the archive. Is there something in particular you're looking for?"

"Not a what as much as a who," Elim explained. "Your director recommended I seek out Katagen, who's working on the _Na'Satt_."

"Ah, then you'll have no trouble. He's easy to find. Just ask."

\---

Elim hesitated outside the archive workroom, wanting to enter but caught between the warring emotions of fascination and distaste. While he had undoubtedly located the staff member he'd been seeking, he was not anything like what he'd been expecting. He wasn't even Kardasi. 

Katagen stood at a white table, reminiscent of a lab bench, carefully piecing together an antique manuscript. Even hunched over, it was evident the alien was a head taller than the average Kardasi. His skin, uncovered on his face and hands, was black as night. Elim couldn't quite make out the details of his similarly dark hair, but some of it, hanging past the angular cheekbones, appeared to be plaited and set with shiny beads. 

Elim didn't recognize the species at all. And while it was well and good for an alien to be working in the state library, even in the archive, how could he possibly be qualified to be working on Kardasia's oldest written treasures? He was taking up the _Na'Satt_ , by the stars! It was a ridiculous proposition. Surely there had to be a Kardasi – a linguist, a literature expert – more qualified. An alien engineer or doctor or scientist, yes, Elim could accept that, but an alien Kardasi literature expert? No, the idea was offensive. Still, he had come all the way down and he was interested in the work, so he might as well go ahead and make inquiries. And anyway, hadn’t he better tamp down that prejudiced voice in his head?

He knocked smartly on the door and peered through the window beside it so that the room's occupant would see him. Katagen looked up from his work, set his tools down, and came over to allow Elim in. 

" _Salmakt_ ," he greeted. "You are looking for something?" He spoke Kardasi fluently, albeit with a strong, unidentifiable accent. 

" _Salmakt_. Yes, I'm Professor Elim Garak, with Kardasi’or University." He placed a hand against his chest deferentially. "I was just speaking with your director and he mentioned your work on the _Na'Satt_." 

"Ah, yes. Come in," he said, holding the door open wider. "I am Katagen, assistant archivist of ancient manuscripts. It has been my honor to continue Tangent Agiv's work. I've been at for more than half a year." 

Elim stepped into the room. A wide desk at the far end held a large computer monitor and an array of PADDs, while the walls were lined with shelves filled with bound volumes, some of them clearly antique. The air smelled faintly of dust and leather. 

"Is that it over there?" he asked, gesturing towards the table. 

"Ah, no,” corrected the alien, stepping across the room. Elim had been right about the man’s full height and, he saw now, about the beads, which ran through braided hair framing a long, narrow face. “That is an interesting piece, however. It's a bit of Kardasi poetry, about 400 years old." 

Katagen beckoned Elim closer, and he could see how the pages had been rent and torn, but were now coming together. 

"A construction worker discovered it while working in a basement a few months after the bombardment and brought it here, or the ruins of this place,” Katagen explained, his long, tapered fingers making a gesture that encompassed the archive. “Madgred tells me the library received so many rescued fragments like this that they simply stockpiled them until staff were available. We're only just getting around to examining this one." 

Although Elim was not familiar with the specialized arts of manuscript restoration, to his layman's eye the work in progress appeared to have been carried out meticulously. 

Of course, he had to remain skeptical. "You have experience with this type of work?" he asked lightly. 

"Oh yes," the alien replied confidently, tucking a set of beads over his ear. "Extensive restoration experience. I am also able to work with three older forms of Kardasi as well as the known variants of Hebitian."

This otherworlder knew that much? How was that even possible? Elim's mind brimmed with questions. But for now he steered back to the original purpose of his visit. 

"So tell me, Katagen, about your work on the _Na'Satt_."

Katagen smiled, lowering his tall figure into the chair behind the desk. "It's nearly finished. I work on it for a couple of hours every morning. It's been fully digitized and the entire work has been translated, notated, cross-referenced.”

The console beeped and the archivist looked down, apparently in response to some comms. “Ah, excuse me, just one moment, let me see to this.” While his new acquaintance looked down, Elim studied the long, dark face, accentuated by a high, triangular forehead, studded with pearl-sized adornments along the hairline. It was a beautiful visage.

“Now, sorry, where was I?” Katagen said, looking up. “Oh yes – the _Na’Satt_. I'm in a proofing stage. Some sections are being reviewed by individuals elsewhere on Kardasia. We want this to be an absolutely definitive version, you understand."

"I understand," Elim replied automatically, his mind meanwhile still wincing at the idea of a non-Kardasi elbows deep in Hebitian cultural treasures. 

And what sort of alien was Katagen anyway? He most certainly wanted to ask, but the question seemed gauche. He couldn’t remember ever asking such a question on Terek Nor. And why ask directly when there were much more discreet avenues of inquiry? 

"Well, thank you for your time," he said, wrapping up the encounter. "As a new professor – I should mention, I've only just been appointed – I will be spending time in the library frequently and I suspect I will have need to consult the archive now and then. I hope to stay abreast of your progress."

Katagen offered a polite nod from his desk. "Thank you, Professor Garak. I look forward to it. To be frank, I have few visitors outside of staff."

Not knowing how to reply to this, Elim merely nodded slightly and made his way out of the room, closing the door softly behind him. 

As he walked through the archive towards the stairs, Elim considered asking one of Katagen's colleagues the species question, but there wasn't much of anyone around. Instead he approached Madgred's assistant. The director himself was still in a meeting. 

"Katagen?" the woman clarified, as she handled multiple comms. "He's a refugee from... Arakagen. I think I'm saying that right. He's been here a year and a half." She stared at her console, obviously vexed. "Federation resettlement program. I'm sorry– that's all I can tell you now, things are really–"

"I understand," Elim assured her, although he actually didn't. Arakagen? He'd never heard of such a place. 

\---

Within a few hours, Elim had put the incident out of his mind. At home in his office, he was just finishing up a round of work he was undertaking to prepare his successor in the _pur-nim_ position. After nearly four years of successfully managing the district, Elim felt it was important to document everything that had been achieved and outline all the methods he'd developed to keep things running smoothly. He didn't _have_ to do these things, of course, but as always, he felt a duty to the state to do his best. 

In the meantime, he could judge from the sounds coming up from below that the three children – not exactly relatives but close – had arrived home with Inda. As she had been doing all summer, she'd picked them up from the local child center or friends’ homes on the way home from university. School wasn't in session but Inda was a dedicated student, and as such had committed herself to a summer internship. She would make a wonderful civil engineer, if Elim was any judge. 

Just then there was a quiet knock on the door. "Come in," he entreated, setting down the PADD he was working with. 

Inda stepped in, wearing a smock over her day clothes and carrying the aroma of what could only be dinner. "It'll be ready in 20 minutes, Uncle," she announced. 

"What will?" he teased. Inda was his niece by adoption, a relationship forged in time of hardship, and they exchanged friendly jibes like the family they were. 

"Like I have to tell you," she replied, moving back towards the door. "And Julian will be home soon, I hope?"

Elim rolled his eyes, a habit he'd picked up from his husband. "He had better be! He promised the other day to not miss any family meals, even if he’s not up to eating much of them."

Inda nodded. "He's a doctor. I know he will try, especially with this. And he's taking all the nutritional supplements."

"He is." Elim rose from his desk. "Now, why don't I change into something a little less formal and meet you downstairs in twenty minutes?"

After Inda left, Elim took a moment to dwell on that which still stunned him a bit: Everyday family life. Something that for most of his life he never thought he would have, but these days something he cherished every day. 

\---

An hour later Julian was cradled against him on the living room sofa. 

"That was delicious," he murmured, pressing a kiss into Elim's upper neck. 

He petted his husband's curling hair gently. "I'm glad you enjoyed it. Appetite improving?"

Julian nodded. "Yes. I hope this is a trend."

"I share your sentiment. This Human 'morning sickness' has not been pleasant to witness," he soothed. "And I can't help but empathize."

Once they had decided the time was right, arranging for Julian to conceive and carry their biological child had been fairly straightforward. Between Julian's position at the hospital and above all his very successful role as Federation ambassador, all the resources needed had been at their disposal. Two months after the womb implant, implantation of the embryo and commencement of hormone treatments, they were now genuinely preparing for a baby. 

"Thank you as always for indulging your alien husband," Julian said fondly. 

At the word "alien" – or more properly "otherworlder," as the Kardasi term for alien was decidedly rude – Elim's mind was brought back to the encounter at the library archive that afternoon. 

"That reminds me, _ss’avi_." He pulled back and sat up. Julian shifted his head into Elim's lap. "This afternoon I made a most curious acquaintance at the Central Library."

"Oh?" Julian murmured, making himself more comfortable. "You don't mean the director, I gather. I thought you’d already met."

"No, not him, love. This was down in the archive. Madgred let me know of work on a legendary Hebitian saga and I had gone down to meet the staff member  doing the work." Now... how to explain his reaction without sounding like a xenophobe, which he certainly wasn't. "I was quite surprised to discover he was an otherworlder, given the nature of the work, but even more, that I could not recognize his species."

Julian glanced up and backwards. "Did you ask him?"

Elim sighed. "No, it felt awkward. But I did ask upstairs, Madgred's assistant. She said he'd come here through a Federation resettlement program. A refugee from a planet I'd never heard of— Arakagen."

"You must mean Katagen," said Julian, shifting into a sitting position. "I approved his relocation application. Must have been a year and half ago." He paused in thought. "I wasn't actually on planet when it came in, but his circumstances were so unusual I remember them."

"With your usual computer-like accuracy, I presume?" Elim teased. Julian knew his husband didn't mind his genetic enhancements one bit. 

"Yes, indeed. He's a refugee from the Gamma Quadrant."

"The Gamma Quadrant?" That thought had not even crossed his mind. "Really? That makes his employ in the archive working on ancient Kardasi and Hebitian manuscripts even more curious."

Julian took Elim's hand. "Do I detect some measure of... _territoriality_?"

"Well, you must admit it's a bit odd. A member of a Gamma quadrant species on Kardasia working in a state library." He considered the matter briefly. "I wonder... Is he a former Dominion ally paying penance?"

"No, he isn't." Julian's tone was serious, almost scolding. "The opposite. About a year before the war's end, Katagen’s world was annihilated by the Dominion. Of the entire population, he is literally the only survivor." 

Elim swallowed, suddenly feeling a weight of guilt over his hostility. He closed his eyes and thought of the long, dark face he’d seen. "What they tried to do to Kardasia... they actually _did_ to his world," he said quietly. 

Julian nodded. "Yes. He's not even properly a ‘refugee,’ as he has nowhere to go back to. As I recall, the nearest civilization, with whom his planet had a close relationship, was also wiped out. So there is no one left at all who even remembers his world."

"Except him." It was a horrifying notion. 

"Yes." Julian squeezed Elim’s hand. "Now, perhaps you could go back to him and discuss his work with a bit more sympathy? I expect he's rather lonely." 

Elim thought back. "Actually, he mentioned that."

"Well, then!" Julian stretched his arms over his head and stood. "Think I need a nap. Care to join me in bed? I'm beat."

"Now when did I ever refuse such an offer, _ss’avi_?" 

As he followed his husband upstairs, thoughts of the orphaned otherworlder trailed behind him like ghosts. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my first post-Canon Cardassia fic and I do want to acknowledge all the fantastic authors who have taken on this territory before me. I am doing prep work on a Garashir fic archive, based on 300+ fics I've saved from all over the Internet, and there are some absolutely fantastic fics out there set on Cardassia. 
> 
> Among my favorites, besides ["Altering Course"](http://archiveofourown.org/works/5278406)... Pretty much [everything DS9 by tinship ever](http://archiveofourown.org/users/tinsnip/pseuds/tinsnip/works?fandom_id=8474), ["Splintered: A Romance in Six Seasons"](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7055800/chapters/16039852) by Madoc (TheInfinityGap), and ["Weight Worth Bearing"](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6575704/chapters/15044695) by myrna123. There are many more and I guess maybe I can name drop them at the end of every chapter.


	2. Bak'rivar

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See Chapter 1 for full notes.
> 
>  **Kardasi Vocabulary**  
>  For the most part the Kardasi vocabulary I'm using comes from other authors who've worked long and hard at it (for example, the [Kardasi according to tinsnip and Vyc](http://cardassianlanguage.tumblr.com/) blog), but for this chapter I made up a word, after which the title is named. And there are other words I'll be making up. Hopefully none of them are ridiculous. I'm checked that I'm not using any prefixes or suffices or word parts that already mean something, so hopefully I'll be OK. 
> 
> Also thanks to those who left kudos and and comments. They help!

The following week Elim found himself back at the library, spending a morning consulting biographies and critical works on several authors. 

When he was finished he realized he had enough time to pay a visit to the archive. And while he did plan to stop by the university in the afternoon, there was no set time he needed to be there. Perhaps lunch with this Katagen was a possibility? He had started up friendships that way before. It remained to be seen whether he could manage a friendship with the alien archivist, but that morning, repeating his urging from the week before, Ambassador Julian Bashir asked him to try.

This time he made his way straight to Katagen’s workroom. Once again, he paused outside the window to observe. Katagen sat at his workstation, eyes intent on the screen. Exactly the same Kardasi-style long-sleeved tunic as last time, same pattern of small diamonds, but red and black rather than blue blue and black. Elim considered what a lighter color would look like against the black skin; probably most pleasing – tailor’s mind ever at work. He wondered why the archivist hadn't opted for it. 

He knocked and immediately Katagen looked toward the window. He rose and opened the door. 

"Professor Garak!" he greeted him. "I'm pleased you've returned." Stepping back into the room, he motioned for him to enter. "Here, take a seat."

Elim bent his head in thanks. "I've just spent the morning on background work for my courses. I thought I might see if you were available for _tuv-kith_."

Katagen, who'd been returning to his desk, paused to look over his shoulder. "Lunch? Oh. How unexpected." He sat down, as did Elim. "I usually make my own meal and eat in the break room upstairs... but it would be pleasant to get out, yes." 

Elim watched as the archivist punched codes into his console. "Do your coworkers not invite you out?" he queried. 

"No," Katagen replied, not missing a beat in his typing. "They did when I first began here, to prove they were decent people, and tolerant, but once their point was proven, the invitations stopped." He reached out for a PADD and began to enter notes. "I don't believe they felt we had enough in common." 

"I see," Elim said slowly. "And might I not be motivated by the same desire, to prove myself at least superficially decent and tolerant?"

Katagen chuckled, a pleasant sound given his melodious voice. "I doubt it. I've looked at your biography."

This Elim had not foreseen. He felt a brief rush of guilt at the fact that he had still not looked up the history of Katagen's planet, although he had intended to. 

"And what did you learn that leads you to think my lunch invitation is free from ulterior motives?" he queried. 

"Well, let me see," Katagen said carefully, assessing him. "You've traveled all over this quadrant, and the Gamma Quadrant too, lived for some time on Romulus, and for years on a space station populated by beings from all over the galaxy. Finally, you're married to a Human. I find it hard to believe you're a xenophobe." 

Elim nodded. "Good work. And a correct conclusion." He slid a hand back over his hair, smoothing it. "By the way, I'm sure you're aware of it already, but Ambassador Bashir, my husband, was the one who approved your relocation application."

The archivist smiled. "Yes, of course. And I remain forever grateful. I knew I stood a good chance, but I still had quite a case of nerves. When it went through, I felt I could finally get on with my life." 

Elim nodded in understanding. "I'd like to hear more about that later. But first, lunch?"

"Ah, of course. I just wanted to mark my place. Coming very close to finishing the _Na'Satt_ work now." He stood and came out from behind the table. Elim followed him over to the door. 

"I'm curious," Elim said as they exited into the main archive space. "When and where did you learn Hebitian?"

"I started on Vulcan, where I spent about a year and a half before coming here, but I made the most progress in the first year I was here," he explained as he navigated upstairs. "Obviously there were experts here and materials I could never get on Vulcan. By the end of a year I had the proficiency to take on this project." 

 Was Elim hearing this correctly? He could not fathom why someone from the Gamma Quadrant was devoting himself to Kardasia. And with such intensity, bringing to bear what were obviously some impressive linguistic gifts. He wanted to get to know the man simply to unravel the mystery, more than for any other reason. 

\---

 The midday sun of late summer bore down on the pair as they set out from the library toward a street lined with shops and cafes. Elim was wearing a tunic and trousers of light materials while his companion's ensemble, as he’d noticed earlier, was more suited to spring. 

"Aren't you warm in that?" he asked conversationally.  

Katagen gestured at the top. "Not really. My planet's summer is– _was_ hotter than Kardasia." 

Elim looked to the side, pretending to glance at cafe tables and menus, as a means of masking his expression. He really needed to find out about this man's home planet. But it would be difficult to do so without some awkward and possibly painful moments. This had to be handled delicately.

"Since you researched my background, you know I was a tailor for some years," Elim said casually. They were approaching the destination he had in mind. 

"Yes – I found that interesting. A variety of professions!"

"I shall be happy to stop at professor for now, I think," he said. "Why I mentioned the tailoring is that I do tend to notice clothes. So if you ever notice that I fuss over them, keep that in mind. Meanwhile, here we are."

The restaurant was outwardly unremarkable, with a small façade and only a few tables outside. Most passersby missed it, but once discovered, it was a treasure. Elim counted it among his favorites in the new Kardasi'or.

"Ah, Mister Garak," the proprietor greeted him, stepping out the door. "I'll ready a table in a cool but pleasant corner for you and your... companion." 

As charming a host as Azik could be, his momentary stare and half-gaping  mouth had been obvious. As they stepped inside, Elim gave Katagen an apologetic look. 

"It's no matter," Katagen murmured.

The restaurant did indeed offer a comfortable respite from the heat outside, and the table they were shown was not far from a ceiling fan. Scents from the kitchen drifted over, reminding Elim's stomach forcefully why he’d chosen to come there. 

"So, what's the specialty here?" Katagen asked, eyeing the dim interior curiously.

" _Bak'rivar_ ," Elim told him. 

" _Stick meat_? You mean like _shish-kebob_?"

Elim looked at his companion blank-faced. "Excuse me?"

" _Shish-kebob_. It's a Terran food," Katagen explained. "Chopped up bits of meat and vegetables, speared on a thin dowel, cooked over a fire. It's delicious."

Elim nodded in understanding. "Ah, then yes. _Bak'rivar_ is the same. And it's very good here."

A middle-aged waiter approached and after presenting menus, asked after drinks. 

" _Rokassa_ juice," requested Elim. 

"And for you?" the waiter asked politely, although, Elim detected, with a trace of unease. 

"Just water, thank you," Katagen replied quietly, fingering the beads at the sides of his face.

Elim glanced down at his menu. "That happens often, doesn't it? The staring."

When his companion didn't respond verbally, Elim glanced up. Katagen's eyes were fixed on the menu. "I told you, it's no matter. There's nowhere in the universe left I won't be stared at.  Perfectly usual." 

"But it can't be comfortable.” Elim had endured the hostile stares of Bajorans on Terek Nor for years. “No wonder you eat at the library every day."

Katagen once again looked up. "That's one of the reasons, yes."

Elim took up a menu. "Now, let me guide you through the options..." 

After their beverages had arrived and they had ordered, he decided it was time to get to know his companion a little better. 

"Katagen, I was wondering if I could get to know you a little better," he began, taking a sip of his juice. “And I have a number of questions.” 

"Feel free."

"Well, I hope you'll forgive me, but I can't help but be intensely curious about your origins." He kept his voice warm and friendly. "Not in a prurient way, but because I honestly would like to know. My husband gave me a bit of background last week and I meant to look into it myself, but I admit I haven't yet done so."

Katagen nodded slowly. "Alright. It's been some time since anyone had me repeat it. What are your first questions?" He took a sip of water and glanced toward the kitchen, as if wishing the food would arrive and save him from answering. 

"As you know, the Dominion would have annihilated all Kardasi wholesale if not for last minute intervention from Ambassador Odo,” Elim began, to get things going. A commonality was a safe place to start. "That was their intention. As it was, they killed millions and blasted our cities to dust. We're only just now back on our feet, barely." Katagen nodded in agreement. "What was different on your world?" 

The archivist ran a long-fingered hand up his forehead while inhaling a deep, slow breath. "The Dominion bore us no grudge. We were never at war with them. Or with anyone. Arakagen was a peaceful world." 

Elim immediately had questions but waited for his companion to go on. 

"Rather they had issue with our allies and protectors, the _Par'a'Atagene_. They had for many centuries a small, multi-planet empire, contact with other worlds, and a military. We are– _were_ very close, though our cultures were separate. It is– _was_ a complex relationship, but as best I can explain it quickly, we were like priests of culture to them. Not religious figures exactly, but revered. Do you follow?"

"I think so. But I don't see how this connects to the Dominion...?"

 It was at this point that their food arrived. They'd both ordered _bak'rivar_ , different types, with toasted bread on the side. Elim began to nibble at a skewer but found it too sizzling hot so he set it down. 

Evidently Katagen came to the same conclusion, as after a sip of water, he continued his explanation. "The Dominion came upon the Par'a'Atagene and after a quick assessment, made demands. To join the alliance, join the war, cede natural resources, any unique technology, and so on. The Par'a'Atagene didn't concede as quickly as the Dominion liked, so they issued a threat –blackmail, if you will." 

Elim's gut clenched. "Against your world."

Katagen nodded curtly. "It was a threat; comply or else. But they couldn't believe such a threat could be real, as there was nothing the Dominion had to gain from us whatsoever. They had heard of the Dominion but were naive, comparatively. So again they hesitated. The Dominion sent a fleet to us and with a type of energy pulse anti-bio weapon, annihilated just about every living thing."

What could one possibly say in the face of that? Elim opted to present both of them a temporary out from this somber conversation.

"Most Kardasi, at heart, seek vengeance against everyone who brought our world to harm – including Kardasi who joined the Dominion alliance. But we have had to move forward. We had that option." He paused and once again picked up a skewer, which he was sure was now cool enough to eat. "And speaking of moving on, perhaps my questions about your own survival can wait until we have enjoyed our meal."

By mutual agreement, both of them dug into the bak'rivar and the conversation temporarily switched over to talk of Kardasi meats, vegetables, and all manner of _kiTh_. Katagen confessed that he was still developing a taste for the planet's cuisine it but found there were enough dishes he enjoyed that he could manage a party buffet or a market kiosk. He had also grown skillful at adapting Kardasi ingredients to recreate his native cuisine. 

"It's hardly perfect, of course," he confided, setting down the last skewer on his plate, "but after a good deal of experimentation, I've come about as close as I'm going to get for now. So I shop at the markets several times a week and prepare most of my meals myself."

Elim was reminded of his years on Terek Nor, eating replicated Kardasi food that was never as good as the real thing, and not knowing when or if he'd ever taste the real thing. But the thought wasn't one to share with this cosmic orphan; Katagen was unlikely even to get replicated food from his world, and never the real thing. 

"How would you feel about after-lunch drinks?" he asked, glancing towards the small bar, where several people sat eating solo lunches. "Our waiter can bring something over. They now carry a type of kanar that hasn't been available for years."

Katagen considered. "Well, it's the middle of a workday for me, but I do quite like kanar, and its effect on me is rather… nominal, so I think yes, I'll take you up on that." 

Once the waiter had set down their glasses, Katagen raised his.

Elim followed suit and the glasses clinked together. “ _Hintik_ ,” he toasted, in the Kardasi fashion.

"A charming Terran and, I see also Kardasi custom, I think," Katagen remarked, after taking his first sip. 

“You've spent much time with Terrans, I take it? _Shish-kebob_ and _toasts_?" Elim asked, seeing a lead-in to learning more of his companion's background.

"Not only Terrans, but yes. I was in Federation medical care for a few months after my rescue and after that worked with the Arakagen recovery team." He shifted in his chair. "Mostly data, from various undamaged archives. Almost everything else was in too bad a state or too 'hot,' with residue of the attack, to recover. So that was about a year with Federation, including many Terrans. I learned Standard and a couple other Alpha Quadrant languages in that time."

Elim marveled. Linguistic talents indeed! No wonder he had mastered Hebitian, a feat that was synonymous with achieving the impossible. 

However, there was still more he wanted to know. As Katagen enjoyed more kanar, Elim picked up their conversation from earlier. 

“Right before we started eating, you were filling me in on a bit of your story,” he began. “I know it’s a cliché, but do you think perhaps this kanar could get you to tell me a little more? Such as how you managed to be the sole survivor?"

At this Katagen abruptly downed his glass and set it down. “Ah. Well, if you’re saying inebriation could get me to ‘spill’ more of my tale, that’s no doubt true, but as I said, I have to get back to work, and besides, it would take a bottle of kanar to achieve the desired effect. So why don’t I just assuage your curiosity and tell you?"

Elim wondered if indeed his companion was prevaricating about his sobriety, as this little speech had come off as a bit of a drunken boast. “You don’t mind?"

Katagen shrugged. “Not really. It’s been a while. Some of my coworkers have never even asked, although they must have heard indirectly. Or looked it up. But if someone asks, at this point I can talk about it. The counselors said it’s best I do, in fact."

“Federation counselors?” Elim questioned.

“And Vulcan,” Katagen supplied. “Now, go on, enjoy your kanar, and I’ll give a quick account. There’s a much longer one you can get in public files, Federation files, by the way.” 

“Go on,” Elim urged. 

As he began, Katagen stared into his empty glass. “As it’s quite important, I’ll first tell you that I worked in the central archive of one of the greatest libraries on Arakagen. Massive, in the capital of a continent, a glorious city, much larger than Kardasi'or. Our greatest cultural treasures — and some of the Par’a’Atagene's — were kept there."

He looked up at Elim. “So, that was my job. Now outside of my job, I had a mate and four children, one of them very young, only a year old. Well, one night, Tivyen woke me up crying as young children do. I did the things a parent does and soon they were lulled to sleep, but I couldn’t fall asleep myself. Instead I started thinking about a bit of research I was working on, a sticking point blocking my progress. And after an hour of lying in bed awake, I decided that sleep was a lost cause. So I left a note and slipped out, intending to come back home in a couple of hours."

Elim leaned back in his chair. "Are you about to tell me that you somehow survived because you went to work that night?"

"That's right. It has to do with where I was working and how the building was constructed. All the archives were underground. The entrance was at ground level," he explained, sketching with his hands, "and it went down eight levels from there. All reinforced and shielded, multiple ways, using the latest Par’a’Atagene technology, because these were our most precious treasures. And that night I went to work on something in that very bottom level."

Worthy of a folk tale, Elim thought. If there were anyone left on Katagen’s planet to weave them. 

"What followed is hardly worth relating today, especially as I really ought to be getting back to work," Katagen announced. "Suffice it to say, when the assault came, alarms went off and the entire structure was jolted. I logged into the computer systems but wasn't able to determine what had happened. I was, however, able to determine that the turbolift was broken."

He rubbed the back of his neck and closed his eyes briefly. "At any rate... It took me some time to climb out from that lowest level." Despite his remark that he had to get back to the library, his speech had become more halting. "By the time I got outside, almost everyone and everything on the planet was dead. A few of us, around the planet, had been an underground shielded chambers, it was later determined... but none as deep as mine... and no one survived the two weeks it took before an allied ship picked up my life signal."

He set his hands flat on the table. "And that is all I think I have time for today and all that really matters, as surely you can work out the rest. I am here, after all, and you already know I was in Federation medical care and on Vulcan, so..."

Elim inclined his head. "I think I can work it out, as you say. And thank you, Mister Katagen, for sharing that. I feel privileged."

"Not 'Mister,' just Katagen," the dark alien corrected, 

"You prefer informal address?"

"My people don't– _didn't_ use honorifics. So they seem awkward to me."

"Ah. Well, then you can be Katagen and I can be Garak."

"But you're a professor! And we’ve only recently met. Shouldn't I...?"

"Ordinarily yes, but didn't you just say honorifics are not in the style of your people?" When Katagen nodded, he continued. "Well, then!"

The archivist smiled. "Thank you."

\---

After settling the bill, and parting from his new acquaintance, and after an afternoon at the university, Elim arrived back to an empty home. It may have been this which prompted him to sit down at a terminal and pull up the Federation records on Katagen's rescue. With Inda, the children or Julian around, he might have been too distracted to satisfy his curiosity right away.

He found the file, from a stardate about a year before the end of the war.  

Katagen had not cut his story short for time; he'd stopped because it was horrific. 

According to his later account, given to a Federation medical team, it had taken him three days to fight his way out of the depths of his prison, the bombed out archive. Along the way, he broke and bruised his fingers, crushed a foot, broke an arm, was repeatedly hit by beams and gusts of gases and smoke. At the surface, he stepped into a hellscape of fires, smoking ashes, and the smell of death. 

His injuries might have remained as they had been, but upon seeing the devastation, Katagen became desperate to find anyone else left alive. He tore through the city, crushed foot and all, rushing into every building he could to check for survivors, but there weren't any to be found. When he arrived at his own home, it was flattened. He continued to search for days.  

For food and water, he looted and pilfered stocks from stores, home, restaurants, rubble, anything remaining. But fires burned and burned. No one was there to stop them. Fire suppression systems were out. And still there were no survivors.  

Then one day, more than a week after the assault that had ended all things, exhausted and broken, Katagen was heading to a food shop in the city center when a second assault struck. A water main, likely blocked of by debris or deprived of usual maintenance, burst in the pavement beneath his feet. He later recalled the blast tossing him across the street. He woke up, he didn’t know how many days later, with a nearly blinding headache, scrapes, and bruises, but remarkably no further serious injuries. At that point, he had finally given in, too hurt to go on, his broken bones beginning to fester in his flesh, and wondering if he should hasten his death or wait. It was nearly a week until a ship picked up his faint life signals and found him, all alone. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look for the next chapter sometime after Labor Day (US). Right now [DragonCon](http://dragoncon.org/) is about to hit and that for me means four days of insanity and definitely not sitting down to write out Chapter 3, although it is all outlined. I promised to get on with it next week. And comments and virtual cookies will help, of course.


	3. Cause for Celebration

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See Chapter 1 for full story notes.
> 
> Sorry it's been over a week since the last chapter. As I warned at the end of Chapter 2, Dragon Con took over, and then after that I had to recover and also work and also, of course, write this chapter, which isn't exactly short.
> 
> A couple of notes on this chapter:
> 
> 1) Yep, it's more talking. In fact, I have to warn you, this whole story will involve a lot of talking. It won't ALL be talking, but that's a good bit of it. Hopefully the characters do keep it interesting, however!
> 
> 2) As I put on the first chapter, this is a sequel to the novella ["Altering Course,"](http://archiveofourown.org/works/5278406) which I love. And once again, the [anatomy/vocab by tinsnip and Vyc](http://cardassianlanguage.tumblr.com/) is important, especially at one point, as one bit of anatomy comes up. Lastly, I stole a fruit from ["A Handful of Dates"](http://archiveofourown.org/works/762779), which I rec in the end notes. 
> 
> 3) No beta on this installment, because I thought I was probably OK on my own. So any errors are solely my fault.

Awaking one morning two weeks later, Elim groggily took in the fact he was alone, the sheets beside him already cool. Julian’s morning sickness had passed, so he judged it unlikely his husband was vomiting. Still, within moments his feet were in slippers as he approached the bathroom. Could something else be wrong? Elim's sense of protectiveness toward his mate had been pulling him like a string since almost the moment the pregnancy was declared viable. 

Padding quietly up to the bathroom entrance, he stole a glance inside and immediately his heart was at ease. Nothing was wrong – far from it. Standing sideways before the bathroom’s largest mirror, Julian had his briefs pulled a few inches down and was running a hand up and down his abdomen.

As Elim looked on, as yet unnoticed, Julian compared the image in the mirror and his own body. The younger man’s expression shifted between nervousness and wonder. Finally, he pressed a hand over his mouth and sighed, only to suddenly whirl around. He’d seen the reflection of the man at the doorway.

He dropped his hands and rushed to pull up his briefs, but Elim was behind him in three long strides and holding Julian's hands in his. “No need to put those back on, dear,” he purred. Gently he massaged the doctor-ambassador’s forearms. “I saw you looking at yourself,” he said quietly. “Looking for signs of our baby.” He kissed the nape of Julian’s neck.

Julian nodded. “I had one of those silly nightmares,” he admitted. “The ones they warn you about, that the baby’s gone.” Elim tightened his arm around his husband. “And when I woke up, I was a bit panicked. I know it’s not rational, but I wanted to check if I could see…"

“I understand.” Elim nuzzled Julian's mussed morning curls. "And so? Can you?"

“Not really. I think we'll just have to wait until next month for that baby bump," he sighed. "And then after that, I’ll probably wish I _couldn’t_ see it!"

Elim turned Julian around and placed a soft kiss on his lips. “Possibly. But for today, it’s the usual routine?" 

At that Julian dropped his briefs. “Usual day shift, yes. And nothing tonight that I know of."

He flipped on the sonic shower and nodded in the direction of the door. “Now, go on. I’ll see you in a few."

Elim was just about dressed when Julian walked in, nude and alluring. Even three years since becoming intimate, he really could not get enough of that view. The human’s sparse hair, down the center of the chest and in patches under the arms and at the groin, had at first seemed a bit strange, but had since become as familiar as the patterns of his own scales. And as Julian had just said, for the moment he looked the same as always -- fit, trim and toned. Although Elim was fairly sure he would find his spouse alluring even the day the baby was born.

After allowing Elim a few moments of admiration, Julian headed to his closet to start getting dressed himself. “So what are your plans for the day?"

Seated on his side of the bed, Elim flicked on his PADD and glanced at his brief agenda. Even though preparing for his new career was taking up some time, these last few weeks still felt like a bit of a respite, with far more flexibility than he’d been used to in his years as _pur-nim_. There were even gaps where he nothing to do at all. 

“Well, in the morning I’m with Allit going over harvest plans,” he explained, glancing up as Julian, back facing him, closed his pants. “And then it's the library for yet more references, and a book I need.” He paused and admired the interplay of muscles in his husband’s back as he pulled on a shirt. “Afterward I’ll probably stop by to see Katagen, as I did last week."

Julian turned around, shirt tucked in and a grin on his face. “You like him,” his accused lightly.

Rising from the bed, Elim crossed the room and took the human’s hands. “I never said I didn’t.” 

Julian huffed. “But you weren’t too keen. You were suspicious of him! Don’t deny it."

“Only a little,” he countered, straightening Julian’s collar and smoothing out nearly undetectable creases. “There. You’re ready to go. And as for Katagen, I find the combination of his sharp mind for literature and his alien culture, of which frankly I have only the faintest inkling, quite compelling."

“And the _Na’Satt_ translation work?” asked Julian, slipping on his shoes. 

“Ah,” said Elim. “On that I still reserve judgement.”  

* * *

Morning work with the new _pur-nim_ went smoothly. Allitt was an apt pupil, former military whose heart had never really been in it. Although Allit's father had been a glinn, he himself had longed for a life bound more to one place, to home and family. Serving Kardasia as district _pur-nim_ was a duty he was eager to take on, and with three young children, he was invested in his success. 

After lunch at home and a couple hours tutoring Azoon and Hasleny – one could never go amiss with imparting knowledge beyond the school curriculum – Elim headed to the Central Library. 

By the time he had finished his work for the day and done some pleasure reading, it was coming to the end of what Elim knew was Katagen's usual work shift, so he headed down to the archives. Unlike previous occasions, he didn't find the slender otherworlder hard at work, but rather leaning back in his desk chair sipping what Elim guessed was a mug of tea.

At his visitor's knock, Katagen looked up and waved Elim in with his free hand. 

"What auspicious timing!" the translator declared, as Elim shut the door behind himself. "Would you believe it's done?"

"The _Na'Satt_?" Elim sat down while Katagen nodded excitedly. "Congratulations." In speaking, he caught the scent of red leaf tea on his _s'oc_. 

"Thank you," the archivist said, beaming. "I came to Kardasia to do important work precisely like this, and so I couldn't be more satisfied." 

At this Elim was reminded forcefully of questions that had cropped up in his mind since his first meeting with the otherworlder. This seemed an ideal time to voice them. 

"Katagen, I've been meaning to ask," Elim began. "Forgive me if it seems self-evident to you, but to me it's not: Why did you choose Kardasia?"

The alien set down his mug. "Ah. I suppose your husband mustn't have told you, but it was all over my settlement application." He stood and walked to one of the bookcases, laden with old volumes. "After my initial recovery, I worked with the Federation team on recovering all we could for my planet. Then there were dictionaries, indexes, archives." He ran a hand over the spines of a few of the books. "It was necessary for me, but at the same time it felt a bit futile, as it was unlikely anyone but a few archaeologists and specialists would appreciate any of it."

He stepped back and faced Elim, hands folded behind his back. "But when I studied the Alpha Quadrant and particularly the history of the Dominion war and came to Kardasia and what had happened here – the destruction – I realized there was a real need. I know I don't have to tell you, Garak, but Kardasia has an outstanding literary culture going back hundreds, thousands of years and your people value it. It needs restoring. I have the expertise. Kardasi will appreciate my work. Because they are still here. And so I came."

Elim swallowed a lump in his throat. He'd wanted to know, but this answer was more than he'd been prepared for. "You told me the Par'a'Arakagene paid your people respect, in almost a worshipful way, for your devotion to culture. I see now how that reputation arose."

Katagen inclined his head. "It is almost hardwired into us, yes." Standing at his desk once more, he picked up his mug of tea and tipped it back, evidently finishing it off. "But on a lighter note, I'm wondering... Would you like to come celebrate with me? The completion of the _Na'Satt_ , off to the publishers and reviewers and all that?"

"That depends on what you have in mind," Elim hedged. "I should be home for dinner in a couple hours..." 

The archivist bent and switched off his work console. "Oh, nothing fancy or time-consuming. I was just thinking perhaps you might come over my little apartment, where I have a few sweets prepared and some liquor you can at least taste, even if it's too early for you."

Elim's interest was piqued. "Would this be Arakagene food and liquor?"

Katagen smiled. "Indeed. So are you interested?" 

"Take me to the celebration."

* * *

It wasn't far to the apartment; Katagen had settled in a district at the heart of the city. It had been flattened in the bombardment and among the last areas to be rebuilt. Everything was constructed of Federation-supplied particle rock, not particularly stylish, but it was safe, outfitted with working electricity, sewage, and modern communications systems. The apartment development Katagen led them into had opened just about the time the otherworlder arrived on the planet. 

Elim passed this information on as they approached and Katagen nodded enthusiastically. He was quite pleased with the convenient accommodations and explained that a couple of Federation social workers had worked out everything for him. They'd also connected him to the library job – which he informed Elim had required thorough skills, knowledge and language tests, as it was certainly not a charity job – and other necessities for a stateless individual with no initial resources. 

"Here we are," Katagen murmured, keying in the security code and leading the way down an interior hallway. "This has been a good place for me. I'm pleased to say that my neighbors have adjusted to my presence. An older woman down the hall even brings me food from time to time – she says I'm too skinny." 

By now he stood at a unit door, for which he keyed in another code. One after the other they stepped inside. 

The first thing Elim noticed was the light. The walls were painted golden yellow, and over them hung strings of light colored beads along with woven, abstract-pattern tapestries of amber, white and pale orange yarn. All of this glowed in the sun, which fell unfettered through two large windows. 

While he stood admiring this and taking in the main room of the apartment, Katagen had moved off to the side. Turning to say something, Elim was brought up short by the sight of his friend standing shirtless and starting to work off his pants. 

"Oh! Sorry!" Katagen apologized, stopping what he was doing and turning his back. "I always change my clothes first thing, but for a moment I forgot your body modesty." He headed through a doorway and raised his voice as he continued, presumably still undressing. "Arakagene don't have such a concept."  

During the minute or so the otherworlder was changing in the next room, Elim once more examined his surroundings. Along one wall was stretched something like a sofa, only lower to the floor and half-buried in pillows. Two very large pillows sat nearby, on a rug that had to have been hand-woven. Everything was again in golden colors, but here and there a touch of orange-red. A small table pulled up to the sofa was topped with a lovely mosaic of what looked to be broken red pottery. He would have to compliment Katagen on his interior decorating skills. 

Just then he caught movement in the corner of his eye and turning, he found Katagen standing in the doorway, dressed in something much more suitable than the Kardasi ensembles Elim had seen him wear on every one of their prior meetings.

"Oh, that's lovely!" he complimented, stepping over to examine the white tunic more closely. "Bolian silk?" 

Katagen nodded. The garment was pleated, with a deep-cut neckline that revealed a triangular breastplate that matched his forehead. Belted at the waist with a yellow and gold belt similar to the weavings in the apartment, the tunic ended at mid-thigh. The otherworlder wore nothing else. 

"Did you make this?" Elim queried. 

"Just the belt," said Katagen, stepping towards a doorway which Elim realized had to be the kitchen. "The clothing is called a _jekat_ , and I had it and several other pieces made, after picking out fabrics from the markets." 

Elim stood in the kitchen doorway while Katagen fussed with a couple of plates, food tins, a tray and other supplies for their celebration. The little room smelled both familiar and strange; Kardasi spices and foods, certainly, but perhaps combined in uncommon ways. And underneath that was an undefinable earthy smell, plus another, more pleasing smell which was very much like that of Katagen himself. The entire apartment was permeated with the subtle scent of what Elim assumed were either Arakagene body scents or perhaps some form of perfume. 

"That _jekat_ is quite becoming on you," Elim told his friend. "Much more so than the Kardasi clothes I’ve seen you in." Katagen glanced over his shoulder, snorted, then continued making up a tray. "You agree? Then why do you wear them?" 

Katagen turned, holding a now full tray, and gestured with his head for Elim to get out of the way. "Because Madgred told me I had to dress Kardasi at work. It's a state library and I have to show respect for Kardasia. And it maintains decorum and minimizes discomfort."

"For your coworkers?" Elim couldn't help asking. 

The archivist set the tray down on the little table and motioned for Elim to settle on the sofa. "Yes. And I suppose he's right, but I admit I'm not fond of Kardasi clothes, especially the tops." 

Elim studied the plunging neckline and breastplate again. Without pointing, but gesturing with his hand, he indicated his friend's chest. "Because it covers this? And that's important."

Katagen inclined his head. "Just so. Kardasi clothes just cover up too much in general. Remember: no body modesty. But let us return to the matter at hand." 

He indicated the tray, which boasted two small plates of unfamiliar snacks, a bottle of water-clear liquor, and two small glasses.

As it turned out, Arakagene sweets were quite pleasant. Katagen had brought out two types, both homemade from Kardasi ingredients. One plate was multi-layered thin pastry stuffed with chopped _bekdel_ nuts, sweet _seth'tels *****_ , and a concoction Elim gathered was meant to be similar to Terran honey, only made of oil and sweetroot. The other plate was stacked with round, dome-topped cookies studded with more _bektel_ nuts and flavored with _iti_ root.

"These reminds me of something my mother used to make," Elim softly admitted, in between slow bites. 

"I hope that's a good thing?" 

"Oh yes. And now, what about this liquor?"

The liquor, called ikti, was less agreeable. Katagen had brewed it himself using a root that as far as Elim knew was only used for medicinal purposes on Kardasia. The taste was astringent and a full glass, he was fairly sure, would be enough to knock an adult Kardasi, even a hardened drinker, off his feet. After a few sips, he politely begged off. Katagen brought over a bottle of kanar instead. Together they toasted to the completion of work on the _Na'satt_.

As he sipped his glass he decided to ask about the interior decorating. "Did you do all this? The weavings and beads and all?"

Katagen nodded. "And the pillows and the mosaic on this table and pretty much everything. It's a little funny because I would have not called myself crafty in my old life, that was more Iki – my mate – but once I settled in here, I felt like I wanted to make a space that was like home." 

Elim studied a shape along the third wall he'd at first assumed to be some type of dresser, covered with another gold and white weaving. He took in the shelves of data rods and the computer console that he saw peeking out the sides. 

"Is that a communications array?" he questioned. 

When Katagen stood and uncovered it, Elim had the answer to his question. He knew the apartments were wired, but this equipment looked fairly sophisticated.  

"Something else the Federation set up for me," the archivist explained. "The rods are where I store everything from Arakagen I most want on hand, and the array allows me to pull down anything else I would like from the full archive I helped establish." 

Elim set his glass down on the tray. "That must be wonderful. What types of files are there?" 

Katagen was rummaging through some rods. "Well, all sorts of things. Some of it, a lot of it, fortunately for me, is high culture. There's also a lot of scientific data, medical, historical records, but also lots of mundane things, everything from recipes to communications records."

He held out a rod. "Like this one. It has a whole set of video messages from my work at the library." He popped the rod into a slot and flipped on a view screen. "Here, let me show you."

Elim didn't miss Katagen's flinch when, after a few taps on the console, an Arakagene appeared on the screen. Seated at a desk, hands folded, he looked older than Katagen, although Elim could not have said why. 

"My boss," the archivist murmured. The person on screen began to rattle off what seemed to be a video memo, in an alien language marked by what seemed like a great many vowels. Elim of course couldn't make heads or tail of it until one word stood out. 

"Excuse me," he interrupted, "but was that your name? Could you go back a bit?"

Katagen, looking startled for some reason, tapped the console and replayed the last half minute of the recording. 

There was no mistaking it. Katagen's name was, at least as spoken in the recording, _Katajan_. 

"Pardon me," Elim began, "but I couldn't help but notice..."

His friend sighed with feeling and looked a tad defeated. "Yes. That's my actual name."

" _Kat-_ ajan?" Elim clarified. "Like...?" A nod. "And you deliberately gave out the wrong pronunciation?"

"Here on Kardasia, yes. On Vulcan it wasn't necessary but here..." Again he sighed. "I assumed, before I even arrived here, that it would be a problem. So I fudged it a bit." 

Elim walked back to the sofa and sat down. He gestured for his friend to join him. "But it's _your name_."

 _Katajan_ settled on a cushion and reached for a drink. "I know. But I already have enough to deal with as an otherworlder. Sharing a name with genitals isn’t  something I need."

Put that way, Elim could understand. He thought of something else. "Your planet's name.   _Arakagen_. Same issue? Is it _Arakajan_?"

Katajan set his drink back down. "Yes. And  _Par'a'Atajane_ , which means ‘not of Arakajan.’" 

Elim considered. "They all share the same root, the same meaning?"

"That's correct. _Ajan_ means ‘world.’"

Certainly a different meaning than on Kardasia. "And what does your name mean then?"

Katajan placed a hand on his chest. "’Heart of the world.’"

"I see. And _Arakajan_?" 

Here the otherworlder rubbed his hand over eyes. "’Eternal world,’" he supplied quietly. 

Neither of them spoke for several long moments. Elim couldn't think of a thing to say. 

"Well, now you know," the archivist said, fussing with the tray. 

Elim stood, realizing it was about time to go. "What can I call you then?"

Katajan, headed to the kitchen with the tray, shrugged. "Same as before, I suppose. I don't think any Kardasi would want to say my proper name." 

Elim watched his friend set the tray on the counter. "But I don't want to say it the wrong way either. How about a compromise? Like... _Kat_?"

Katajan looked up, surprised. "Oh. I... Well, yes, if you like. That's what Iki called me. You know, 'heart.'"

Smiling, Elim inclined his head. "You've been a gracious host, Kat. Thank you. But I must be getting back home."  

Kat inclined his head in turn. "Thank you for coming. It's much better celebrating with two rather than one."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * _seth'tels_ are a fruit (like dates) mentioned in the long fic ["A Handful of Dates"](http://archiveofourown.org/works/762779) by [KanarandTarkaleanTea](http://archiveofourown.org/users/KanarandTarkaleanTea/pseuds/KanarandTarkaleanTea). This is a story I quite like. It's a bit sentimental, but I can be too, so... Anyway, it's about Bashir and Garak getting together on DS9. One of my fav aspects is how there is integration of North African and Near East Culture, including Islamic culture and some Islam. Bashir's aunt, for example, has chosen to live in some kind of traditional, very Luddite (so to speak) type community which eschews technology. Anyway, not everything works -- for example, it seemed to me that the various cultural references were coming in from a lot of different countries, but being represented as some kind fo monolithic culture -- but it's still very charming, and the relationship build is very nice. There's some invented Cardassian customs and culture I also enjoyed. Bashir's relationship with his parents, when it comes up, is also handled nicely. Anyway, just wanted to rec the story! Also, thanks for the kudos on the story, KanarandTarkaleanTea!


	4. A Few Bombshells

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See Chapter 1 for full story notes.
> 
> I didn't expect to get this chapter up so quickly, but then this morning I wrote the first scene and from there everything just spilled out. So yay!
> 
> A couple of notes on this chapter:
> 
> 1) I think I'll keep mentioning this is a sequel to the novella ["Altering Course,"](http://archiveofourown.org/works/5278406) which I love.
> 
> 2) I said this in the story intro, but: this story has MPREG, but not the kind that should weird anyone out. It's not magical, inexplicable, or used for kinky effect. Personally, I don't mind when it _is_ , but I know some people won't read anything with MPREG, so I'm trying to say "Hey, read it anyway!"
> 
> 3) No beta on this installment, because I thought I was probably OK on my own. So any errors are solely my fault.

"This is easier than I expected," declared Azoon, stepping back to admire the row of orchids lined up on the greenhouse table. 

"You may think it's been 'easy,'" Elim countered, "but if you think of all the steps involved and all we've done to get to this point, you'll see it actually hasn't been. You _have_ , however, been more _successful_ than you expected." 

The nine-year-old nodded. "Yeah. The way Uncle Julian talks, I always expect gardening projects to go wrong."

"Ah, yes," Elim agreed with fondness, putting away the few tools they'd used to tend the orchids. "Your uncle and his 'black thumb,' as the Humans put it. But remember, I was raised gardening."

Azoon nodded. "By Tolan." As he took up a broom and swept the floor for a bit, he briefly looked thoughtful. "Do you miss him?"

Finished with his work, Elim crouched down, "Sometimes. But that was many years ago." Gently he placed a hand on his nephew's cheek. "What about your own parents?"

The boy's eyes shifted to the small pile of debris on the floor. "It's hard for me to remember them sometimes, not like the others do, but I dream about them sometimes. I like it because I get to see them... but then I _don't_ like it because I wake up."

Tipping up the child's chin with his other hand, Elim thought briefly about what might be most comforting in this moment. "Your parents loved you very much. And whatever you remember of them, know that every bit of love and care they gave you is inside of you still. Just like it's inside Dyrum and your sisters, who've taken that love and used it to take care of you. And you give it back. Their love will never go away."

Azoon thought for a few moments, nodded to himself, then stepped back, taking the broom with him. "And then I can love the baby?"

Elim stood up from his crouch. "I should hope so. He will be like a brother." He gestured for the broom, which the boy handed over. He handed Azoon a dustpan. "If you please?" 

Azoon swept the debris away, then dropped it into the compost bin. "What will I call him? My _cousin_? Or my _brother_?" He set the dustpan down on the counter. 

Elim stepped up behind the boy and patted his shoulder. "I don't know. I suppose you and the others will have to decide." Azoon fidgeted slightly. "You have more questions?"

Azoon nodded and stepped over to look at the orchids. "Yeah. I was wondering. Will he be Kardasi or will he be an otherworlder, a Human like Uncle Julian?"

The five-year-old Elim and Julian had first met had been bursting with questions, often blurting them out at inappropriate times. This older boy, however, had apparently been hesitant to ask certain questions in the presence of other family. 

"He'll be both," Elim explained. "He won't be an otherworlder exactly, as he'll be raised here like you, Kardasi, but he'll learn about Terran culture and of course get to know your uncle's Human parents." 

Azoon carefully stroked an orchid blossom with one finger. "What will the baby look like? Kardasi or Human?"

"We don't know yet," Elim admitted. "Later we'll get scans that will tell us. But we expect it will be a mix of both, a hybrid. You've met Bajoran-Kardasi hybrids here, Azoon."

The boy nodded. "Some people don't like them. Mostly older people, though they try to hide it." An astute observation, thought Elim. "But I don't mind it. I think it's silly. Hating any otherworlder, or thinking there's something wrong with them. It's stupid."

Elim led to boy to the greenhouse door. "It is, isn't it?" He stepped out into the cooler but still hot summer air. A thought occurred to him. "Do you know, I have a friend named Kat who's an otherworlder and has problems with some Kardasi not liking him. He's all alone here on Kardasia."

Azoon was following ahead toward the rear door of the house. "You mean he doesn't have any family?"

Elim stopped walking and, taking a cue, the boy paused and looked back. "No, Azoon. His family is dead. He's from the Gamma Quadrant. The Dominion came to his planet and killed everyone. He's the only survivor."

Azoon stood stock still, only his eyes giving away his horror. After a few seconds he wrapped his arms around himself. "That's terrible. That's worse than terrible." He scuffed his feet. "What's he doing on Kardasia?"

Elim stepped over and patted one of the boy's shoulders. "Kat came here to help us. He's an archivist and translator. He learned ancient Kardasi and Hebitian languages to help us restore our literature. He works at the Central Library."

"That's where you met him? I know you spend a lot of time there." 

Elim nodded. "Yes. Kat and I have become friends of a sort. But he doesn't have many other friends – actually I'm not sure if he has _any_ other friends. Not that he isn't nice."

Azoon relaxed and started walking again. "You said he's lonely. Maybe he could meet our family. Could you ask him over for dinner?" 

Tapping in the entry code and the door, Elim thought that was a fine suggestion. "I'll ask him tomorrow when he can come."

* * *

A few days later, dinner was almost ready, the dining room made up, when the visitor chime sounded. 

“I’ll get it,” announced Hasleny.

“Thank you, dear,” said Elim. The young teenager was eager to prove her mastery of more adult tasks and he was happy to encourage her 

From a chair across the living room, Julian smiled. “I’m glad you’re doing this, _ss’avi_.” 

“ _We’re_ doing this, remember,” Elim corrected. “I extended the invitation on _both_ our behalves.”

Just then Hasleny entered, leading in Katajan, who thanks to the high ceiling didn’t look as tall as he did in other interior spaces. Still, he looked enormous beside a child. He was wearing another _jekat_ , this one of pure white. 

“Welcome,” said Elim, rising along with his husband. “I trust you were able to find us without difficulty?"

Inclining his head politely, Katajan grinned. “The _ambassador’s_ house, Garak. It wasn’t a problem.” He tilted his head back up and looked around. “And what a lovely house it is."

“Thank you,” said Julian, stepping forward. “The Kardasi took great care in providing a home to the Federation’s first ambassador to Kardasia.” 

“Ambassador Bashir, I am honored to meet you, and thank you for all you have done for Kardasia and for me in particular.” He put his hands back to back in front of his chest, then broke them apart, palms facing himself, in what Elim assumed was an Arakajane expression of thanks. "My settlement here has been a joy."

Julian looked thoughtful. “I’m glad you’ve found a home here. My own stay has ended up unexpectedly joyful as well. Did you know I first came here on a six-month volunteer shift?" 

Soon they were speaking on a less formal basis, seated in the living room while Inda, Dyrum and Azoon worked in the kitchen. In the midst of discussing the house and its decor, Julian invited Katajan to call him ‘doctor,’ rather than ‘ambassador’ or ‘Bashir.’ In turn Katajan told Julian and Hasleny they could all call him ‘Kat.’ Elim was privately glad his friend had decided to dispense with the obfuscation around his real name, at least in this social setting.

About ten minutes later, Azoon burst into the room. “Inda says dinner’s ready!” he announced. Then, remembering his manners, he walked up to Katajan and inclined his head. “And welcome to our home!” 

“Thank you,” Kat replied. “You must be Azoon. Garak has told me a bit about you and your siblings.” 

As everyone moved toward the living room, the boy continued speaking to the towering otherworlder. “My uncle told me a little about you, too. I was the one who asked if you could come over for dinner. I thought you could meet more people!"

Elim winced inwardly, hoping Azoon wouldn’t accidentally bring up an overly painful topic in the middle of dinner. Oh, well. Julian has certainly come into his own as a diplomat and Elim had always been able to smooth things over in  awkward situations.

However, it seems he need not have worried. After quick introductions with Inda and Dyrum, they settled in for a meal that was mostly like any other family dinner, if a bit more on the polite side.

Katajan seemed at ease with all three children, asking questions about their schooling and hobbies, and also chatting with Inda about her civil engineering studies. Julian, whose appetite had actually increased recently, focused mainly on eating, but did direct a few questions about food Katajan’s way. He was apparently intrigued by the way the otherworlder had adapted Kardasi ingredients for the purpose of recreating his native cuisine. 

They were nearly to dessert when things got interesting. Katajan had been speaking of his work at the library, keeping it simple so that even Azoon could follow along, when the boy spoke up.

“Um, Kat, I have a question,” he said. Elim braced himself.

“Yes, of course, ask away,” Katajan encouraged him.

The boy looked suddenly shy, but quickly steeled himself. “I was going to say something about your accent. It’s strong, but you speak Kardasi very, very well! Definitely as well as Uncle Julian, even though I know you haven’t been here as long. And you also know all these ancient Kardasi languages, too. But you know your own too, and I guess Standard?"

“That’s right. Was that your question?” 

“Well, no,” Azoon admitted. “I was just wondering what other languages you know, besides that."

Katajan sat back in his chair. “Well, a great many. Since arriving in the Alpha Quadrant, I’ve learned the ones you mentioned, plus Vulcan, Klingon, Andorian, and Bajoran. Those are the ones I consider myself fairly fluent in."

Elim himself wasn’t aware of this and would have said something had Hasleny not beat him to it. “You learned all that? In less than five years?"

Katajan nodded. “Arakagene have an inbuilt aptitude for languages, my clan even more than others. I also know over twenty more, from the Gamma Quadrant — almost all dead languages now, I’m afraid.” 

So it wasn’t Azoon who brought up awkward subjects, but Katajan himself, Elim observed privately. And he’s also used the mispronounced name for his people.

“But how did you learn so many, even if you’re good at languages?” the youngest among them asked. “I’m nine and so far I only know two. When I get older I’ll study more. But you must have studied and studied so hard to learn that many. You’re not that old!"

Katajan set down his fork and rested his hands in his lap. “I’m curious, Azoon. How old do you think I am?"

The boy, sitting down and across the table, turned his head this way and that for a few moments “Well, I don’t know… about the same as my uncles. Maybe between forty and fifty?”

“Hmmph.” Katajan was clearly amused. “Not quite. Try 150. Actually, 152, to be precise."

Everyone, including Elim, stopped what they were doing and stared.  

It was Julian, the doctor, who managed to speak. “Your lifespans must be quite different from ours then." 

Katajan nodded. “Yes. We aren’t considered adult until we’re somewhere around one hundred and have finished our education. That’s when I began working and was bonded.”

Azoon’s eyes were large. “You really don’t look that old!” he declared.

“Thank you,” said Katajan, his eyes laughing.

* * *

After dinner, Inda and the children took themselves upstairs and Elim, Julian and Katajan settled in the living room for more conversation. Elim poured a glass of kanar for himself and the otherworlder, but not for Julian.

Katajan evidently picked up on this. “You don’t like kanar, doctor?"

Julian shook his head and looked to Elim for guidance. He nodded; it was permissible to tell.

“No, I’ve leaned to enjoy kanar, Kat, it’s just I can’t have any alcohol at the moment,” he explained. “You see, I’m pregnant."

Katajan sat up straight, gripping his glass of kanar tightly. “Really? But…” He looked between the Kardasi and the Human. “You’re both… male?"

Julian chuckled. “Science, Kat. Children can be conceived outside the womb and implanted in males, along with requisite ‘equipment’ so that they can be carried to term just as in women. Hormones keep the pregnancy going and the children are delivered by surgery. It’s been going on for quite some time. So when Garak and I wanted our own children — which had to be arranged artificially anyway — this was the option we went with."

Katajan, who’d briefly been staring at Julian’s stomach, shook himself out of it. “Well! I’m no scientist. I’ve learned a great deal since coming to the Alpha Quadrant, but this I’d never heard of. Males pregnant!” He extended his hands as he had upon entering the house; perhaps, Elim thought, it meant both ‘thank you’ and ‘excuse me.’ “Congratulations!" 

“Thank you,” said Julian. “Now you two can toast on it."

They did, and after Julian explained in more detail how exactly the pregnancy had been accomplished, Elim decided to offer a detail about Katajan to his spouse.  

“As you saw, dear, Kat here was good with the children. I don’t think I’ve mentioned it to you ever, but he and his mate had four children. What were their ages, Kat?"

Elim didn’t want to make him uncomfortable, but on other hand, the man shouldn’t be made to act as though his family never existed.

“25, 17, 10 and our youngest, just one. Three of them, I bore myself,” he said quietly. “So I understand about pregnancy.” 

Elim nearly dropped his drink, before he quickly set it down. Julian did a double-take, then sat back on the sofa, just staring. 

“Do you mean to tell us,” Elim began, “that all this time you’ve been letting us use the wrong pronouns on you and calling you a man? And not just us but… letting _everyone_ do this?"

Katajan, fidgeting, took a drink of kanar and stared into his glass for a few seconds before responding. “Yes. I’m sorry, but it’s been obvious to me ever since I was rescued that most everyone, across species, and definitely here on Kardasia, perceives me as male, and so I’ve just let everyone assume. I don’t have a problem with it, as it hardly matters."

“How can you say that?” Elim asked.

The otherworlder looked back with an expression Elim couldn’t interpret. “I’m alone in the universe, Garak, so it hardly matters what I am, does it?” 

Somehow they managed to muddle their way out of that awkward corner and return to talking about the coming baby. Katajan didn’t talk about his own pregnancies, but did have questions about the care of infants, toddler childcare and so on. By the time their guest was ready to head home, congeniality had been restored. Katajan left thanking them for a splendid evening.

“Well, that was interesting,” said Julian, settling himself down at full length on the sofa. Elim took a chair nearby. “Your friend is a woman and you didn’t even know."

Elim huffed. “You can’t blame me. No one else guessed either. And he — _she_ — didn’t volunteer. _She_ conceals it just like _she_ conceals _her_ real name and the name of _her_ planet. And how she’s 150 years old. Because she thinks it will make others uncomfortable." 

Julian rubbed one hand down his abdomen, which looked flat when he was lying down but at three months actually did show just the tiniest baby bump when he was standing. “Well, I have some experience with that, _ss’avi_. Hiding my identity, I mean. Kat doesn’t face the sort of threat I did, but she’s got to be afraid of rejection, after all she’s been through.”  

“I suppose,” Elim said. A thought occurred to him. “You know, there was a fourth child. Kat said she was pregnant with three, but what about the other? I wonder if they adopted?"

Julian raised an eyebrow. “You could _ask_ , dear. Direct questions do seem to work on… her. Just _assuming_ things doesn’t. She and her husband could have adopted. Or she could be a lesbian. All the children could have been conceived from male donors.” 

Elim considered this briefly. “True. I might ask him – _her_ – if I find the right moment. But I do wonder… Is there anything else she’s still hiding from us?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since I mentioned MPREG in the beginning note, let me rec an MPREG here at the end. I am borrowing a whole bunch of the science etc. from it anyway, so here it is: ["Oh Baby!"](http://archiveofourown.org/works/3373271/) by [black_tea](). There's a Cardassian doctor who helps Garak and Julian have a baby, and I like her, and the way it all works out is well done. This story comes at the end of the lengthy [Garak and Bashir: Related Works](http://archiveofourown.org/series/74098) series -- a bit of a AU in some respects, but hey, AUs are cool -- and before another new WIP series which starts a couple of years later and begins with ["Everything Changes"](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6441223), which I am loving so far!


	5. Pronouns

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **UPDATED NOTE - 9/21/16**  
>  For those who might have read this story as originally posted, I wanted to note that I've made a change to one scene, based on feedback from a reader on how it crossed some squicky/nasty/icky boundaries when translated to human sensibilities. To avoid spoilers for others, I'll say the scene it involves Kat standing up wearing a robe. 
> 
> See Chapter 1 for full notes.
> 
> Going to skip the notes I've repeated in earlier chapters in favor of some new ones:
> 
> 1) The title of this chapter is "Pronouns." You'll see why. And you'll see why they drove me crazy. 
> 
> 2) If you are reading this story and logged in as a user, could you _please_ just write a little note, even a "I'm reading." I'm not writing this for comments, as I'm happy writing it and it's all outlined, but I would like to know what users are reading. if you actually have _comments_ , that's great too, but just "waving hi" is cool too.
> 
> 3) I've updated the tags, because more stuff is coming into the story now.
> 
> 4) There's biology in here that's nabbed from another work of fiction. More about that in the end note, because spoilers!

Two months later, no further truth bombshells had dropped from Katajan, and in fact Elim's friendship with her had only strengthened. They now had a standing weekly lunch date and on one occasion the otherworlder had hosted him and Julian for an Arakajane style dinner. 

This despite the fact that the university term was in full swing and Elim was being kept quite busy. It was a challenge scaling the steep learning curve of becoming a full-time professor and lecturer. At times he wanted to throttle certain of his colleagues and also some of his more impertinent students – was respect a thing of the past? – but overall he found himself enjoying it, despite all the work. Besides the actual classes, there were meetings, office hours, and more. The grading of essays was beginning to take up his evenings. 

On top of this was Julian, whose pregnancy was right on track, with no health worries, but who Elim felt deserved special treatment. His spouse protested, but Elim had begun offering foot rubs and fragrant, relaxing baths. He also monitored how much the doctor-ambassador worked. While Julian was already beginning to cut down his hours somewhat, and planned to make his workdays shorter and shorter before taking work leave, Elim still watched for signs of fatigue and stress. He wanted everything to be perfect. 

One day, the weather having cooled somewhat into autumn, Julian five months pregnant and working at the hospital, Elim decided to drop by the library. Two days earlier, he'd come upon a market herb peddler offering the root Kat used to make her rather revolting ikti liquor. He'd bought a bundle and kept it in his bag, ready for the next time he saw his friend. But having some time that afternoon, why not drop it off now?

Down in the archives, he went straight to Kat's office, only to find the archivist wasn't there. Assuming his friend was at a meeting or somewhere else in the library where she might not be found right away, Elim reversed course. He’d hand off the roots another day.

"Excuse me!" a voice called out from behind him. He turned to see a woman's head and shoulders peeking out from an office entrance.  

" _Salmakt_. Looking for Katagen?" she called. Elim nodded. "Sorry, I saw you walking by and recognized you from your earlier visits. I wanted to tell you, if you're planning to look for him, don't bother – he's out sick."

"Sick? Since when?" 

"Starting today," the woman said, "although he seemed a bit run down yesterday." She stepped out from the doorway into the hall and approached Elim so she could speak more quietly. "I suppose it's his business, but since you seem to be his friend and are surprised he’s sick, maybe I should tell you that in the time he's worked here, this is the third time he's suddenly grown very tired and taken off from work. The other times, he's been out for three or four days." 

"And has he said what's wrong?" Elim fought to use the pronoun that matched what his coworker was using.

"Not really. The last time, I was worried about him and afterward I asked. All he said was that sometimes being on this planet all alone wears him down to the point he actually gets sick. He said he wished it didn't happen but he couldn't help it."

Elim smelled another obfuscation – from Kat, not her coworker. "Thank you. I think I'll pay a visit to his apartment."

"Wonderful. Tell him Elana says hello and wishes him a fast recovery. He should recognize my name – his memory's as good as any Kardasi's."

Elim nodded. "I'll pass on your message, and yes, I'm sure he'll know who you are. And again, thanks."

* * *

As he neared Kat’s apartment, Elim experienced a bit of foreboding. His friend had already concealed the true pronunciation of her name, and obfuscated — by not correcting others’ assumptions — her sex, gender and age. Now she was sick, had been sick before, and wasn’t telling anyone why. And she hadn’t brought it up, not even with her friend Julian, who was a skilled physician with expertise in xenobiology. He had an inkling of the frustration Julian the young doctor had felt trying to pry secrets from his Cardassian ex-spy friend back on Terek Nor.

He pressed the visitor button on the building’s security panel and waited for it to connect to Kat’s unit.

Nearly a half minute elapsed before a tired voice emerged from the speaker. “ _Salmakt_. This is Katagen. Who is it?"

Definitely sick, and perhaps woken from a nap, thought Elim. “It’s me, Garak. I dropped by the library but then Elana told me you were out sick. I wanted to check on you."

A few seconds passed. “Oh. Well, it’s no matter. Nothing to worry about. It will pass in a few days."

Elim was making about as much headway as he expected. “Kat, won’t you let me in? I brought you _sem’li_ root from the market. For your _ikti_. And if you’re not too badly off, couldn’t I just stay a few minutes to chat?"

“ _Sem’li_ ,” Kat murmured. “That was thoughtful."

“So will you let me in? I won’t stay long." 

The door clicked as Kat apparently entered the release code. “Yes, you might as well."

The otherworlder was standing in the half-open door when Elim reached the apartment. She wasn’t wearing a _jekat_ , her usual attire at home, but a long belted robe that looked as if it had been thrown on at the last moment. 

“You brought roots?” she asked, moving aside so Elim could enter. The room was dim, the blinds pulled down nearly all the way and only a couple of low lamps illuminating the normally bright space.  

“Yes.” Fishing the packet out of his bag without looking, he studied his friend, the way she’d tied her braids away from her face and held herself stiffly. “So am I interrupting something?” he asked, handing the  _sem’li_ over. 

Kat accepted and padded over towards the kitchen. “No, you aren’t. I’m just sick — ‘under the weather,’ as the Humans say."

Elim, following after her, was absolutely not buying it. The kitchen reeked of herbs. “What have you been cooking?"

Kat, absently putting the roots away in a cabinet, glanced over toward the stove, where several pots of liquid sat. “Teas. Herbal remedies. The closest things to home remedies I can work out." 

“Have you thought,” Elim began, hoping to make some progress, “about maybe going to a doctor? Like, say, Julian?"

Kat went to one of the pots, and taking up a spoon, stirred the contents. “No,” she said tightly. “There’s nothing he could do. It’ll be over in a few days. It always is."

Time to press, but carefully. Elim stepped forward and gently placed his hand on Kat’s shoulder.

Before he could even begin to speak, however, Kat jerked away, spilling the pot of tea on the floor and shrieking. “Don’t touch me!"

Elim froze. Kat was now gulping for air. A panic attack? Knowing she probably needed space, he backed away into the main room. “Come here and lie on the sofa, Kat. You need to calm down."

Hands now clamped over her face, she nodded weakly. “Yes,” she murmured. 

“Don’t worry about the pot,” Elim told her. “Just come in here.” He himself took a seat on one of the pillows as his friend made her way over to the sofa.

Some truth telling might help. “Back on the space station, I had a medical issue I didn’t want anyone to know about. I was ready to let it kill me rather than tell, ask for help. Finally, I got so sick Julian found out about it. He was quite angry. But he saved my life."

Seated on the sofa, arms wrapped around herself, Kat looked exceedingly vulnerable. “Are you angry with me?"

“No, Kat, I’m not. I just don’t want you thinking you can’t tell me when you have a problem, even when it’s something personal. You’re all alone, with no one else to go to. If you can’t even tell your _friends_ …"

“My _only_ friends,” Kat choked out. Again she covered her face with her hands. “Oh, Garak. I want to tell you, but it’s… It’s awkward."

“Your illness is awkward?” Elim clarified. 

Kat brought her hands away from her face. “Yes. And actually it’s not an illness, it’s more of a regular physiological process. It’s… hormonal." 

Now he was getting somewhere. “Ah. So… something that women get? Like part of a fertility cycle? Something to do with your… internal workings?"

“Not exactly.” Kat eyed the ceiling, as if looking for answers. Suddenly she rose. “Alright. This is how I’ll start.” She fingered the belt on her robe. “Remember what I said about Arakajane and 'body modesty,' way back when you first came over? That we don't  _have_  any?"

Elim suddenly understood what she intended and got to his feet to put a stop to it.

“Kat, no,” he said firmly. “You’re not going to strip.”

Hands still on the robe’s belt, Kat paused, uncertain. “I… but…?”

“Just _tell_ me. I don’t need to see.” He resumed his seat on the floor and gestured for her to follow. “Just trust me when I say it’s not appropriate.”

Kat flung herself down on the sofa. “Alright. What I’m saying… I’m  _trying_  to say… to start with, anyway, is that I’m not a woman, Garak."

“You’re not a woman,” Elim said dumbly. “But… You’re not a man either. You were pregnant.”

Kat nodded slowly, then motioned for him to go on. Put together the pieces. 

“So… you’re  _both_?”

Kat sighed, then shook her head. 

“You’re…  _neither_?”

No reaction.

“But you had  _babies_. You have to be female in some way."

“I  _am_ ,” Kat said, finally ending Elim’s blundering. “But I’m not  _right now_. And I’m not  _male_  right now either. I’m…  _nothing_. I’m just myself, what you might call  _neuter_ ,  _neutral_. That’s how we are, all Arakajane, until we go into _phase_."

“Oh.” At that moment, Elim wished Julian was there; the doctor would understand all of this. This was definitely xenobiology beyond his own experience. “What happens then when you’re ‘in phase’?"

“It’s called  _karakten_. Which means something like ‘together-time.’ Ancient word.” Kat was spread at full length on the sofa now, her — _his? their?_ — eyes closed. “It happens every few months, say every four or five. And when it happens, you go to your partner, or someone in phase, and you… You turn into one or the other — male or female. It’s the only time we do."

Elim did not reply to this revelation immediately, instead turning it over in his mind. For three months, he’d gotten to know Katajan, and only now were they  sharing what seemed like a hugely fundamental part of their home culture. He smiled and tapped his temple, trying to show Kat he wasn’t upset, but that he was thinking. 

“Kat,” he said finally. “You’re a friend. I’ve been trying to get to know you, and you’ve been learning to get to know me. I enjoy our talks — about literature, language, your home planet's culture, and recently, raising children. I cannot imagine why you felt you couldn’t tell me about this."

Katajan rolled their head from side to side on one of the large pillows. “I don’t… I don’t like being _different_. It’s hard, Garak. It really is. There are many things I’ve adapted to, and things I’ve tried to change, to make them more comfortable for myself, and I’ve tried to fit in here on Kardasia. But this was just one thing I didn’t know how to handle."

Elim could understand the impulse. “But what about on Vulcan? And before that? With the Federation?"

Kat sighed. “I minimized it. On Vulcan it wasn’t so bad. They’re rather clinical, you know, and they have _pon-farr_  – all their sexual needs come to a head every seven years. So when I explained to some Vulcans close to me about all of this, and the cycles, they could understand, and there was no judgement. Here… I just feel more…"

“Oh, Kat,” Elim sympathized. “You have to stop doing this. Adaptation is well and good, but over and over, I’ve seen you just bend too far to make others happy. Come now, won’t you let me at least call Julian and see if can help you somehow?"

Kat’s looked a bit apprehensive, but they nodded. “I… don’t want to be a bother. And  _karakten_ passes. But if you think maybe something could be done, I think I could trust him."

* * *

During the twenty-five minutes it took Julian to arrive — he’d been about to leave anyway, having shortened his hours — Elim kept the conversation to a minimum, focusing instead of calming Katajan down. No more questions about their “phase,” health or gender. 

After some inconsequential talk about the library and what had been going on at the university, Elim told them to relax on the sofa while he took care of the kitchen, mopping up the spilled tea and doing some dishes. 

It was while doing this that he noticed a rectangular shape half-covered by heavy cloth, standing in the corner. Lifting the cover, he was surprised to find a stack of terraria making up what looked like a bug farm, with bugs at several stages in their development cycle. He quickly covered it and moved on to wiping down the counters.

Returning to the living room, he found Kat fanning themself with their hand. 

“Are you hot?” he asked. 

Kat nodded. “It comes in waves. I’ll just wait it out. Doctor Julian will be here soon?"

“Yes.” Elim sat himself down on out of the pillows. “So tell me, do I want to know what that ‘farm’ in the kitchen is?" 

His friend snorted. “Poking around? Well, it’s a farm, you’re right. It’s my attempt to recreate a staple food from home. Bugs and insects, which go into all sorts of things — mash them into a paste, make them into a flour, fry them up. I had to try out several Kardasi species before I found ones that were agreeable and bred well, and finally found some that are delicious.” They stopped fanning themself and looked Elim in the eye. “At least _I_ think so. And you’re trying to tell me _I’m_ the only one who matters, yes?"

Elim nodded. “As long as you’re not forcing me to have any.” 

“I wouldn’t,” Kat said, chuckling. Their mood was definitely improving.

By the time Julian called in from outside, Elim and Kat were drinking cups of some of the Arakajane tea. Elim found it really wasn't bad, as the Kardasi ingredients were apparently soothing to both species. 

Elim rose to get the door. After letting Julian in, he gave him a one armed hug and a peck on the cheek. "Thank you for coming, _ss'avi_." He glanced over towards Kat, who was once again looking uncomfortable. "Our friend took some convincing, but..."

"I understand." He approached Kat and somewhat awkwardly crouched down, baby bump getting in the way. He set his medkit on the floor. "I'm your friend, Kat, but I assure you in this I will be entirely professional." 

"Thank you. Federation doctors have treated me well in the past," they said gruffly. "They saved my life. 

"Yes." Julian rose, with a light assist from Elim. "And with that in mind, the first thing I want to do is retrieve you medical records. I never have before, because I'm not your doctor, but I will be now. Elim only told me it was something 'hormonal' and 'urgent.' I'd like to have some baseline before I ask you more."

Kat nodded mutely.  

"I knew you had this comm station, or I would've grabbed the reports before coming." He sat down and began to enter codes to reach Starfleet and Federation medical records. "There will be records of this condition, right?"

Kat nodded again but then, noting the doctor had his back turned, spoke up. "In detail. Federation and Vulcan. The Vulcan doctor was especially easy to talk to."

"Yes, they can be, in some cases," Julian murmured. "Ah, here they are. Elim, could you bring me some kind of decaffeinated tea?"

Elim turned to Kat questioningly. "There's a replicator under the counter next to the oven. I don't use it often, but it's programmed with some Terran food."

Tea at the ready, it only took Julian and his enhanced brain a few minutes to process all the records. He turned the chair around to face his patient. 

"Kat. Dear Kat." He rubbed his forehead. "Is there any reason you couldn't have just _told_ us?"

The otherworlder dragged themself into a sitting position. "Garak asked me the same thing. I told him I just didn't want _another_ thing to make me _different_. And this is _very_ 'different' here on Kardasia. So I just avoided it."

Julian stepped over toward the sofa and after a quick glance at the pillow-seats, sat down next to his patient. "I'm afraid if I sit myself down there, I'll have a difficult time getting up again, with the baby." He patted himself. "Getting harder and harder to ignore." 

Kat nodded in understanding. "You see how thin I am. I assure you, that wasn't true in pregnancy. Forget grace then!"

Julian chuckled. "Indeed. Now, I understand the situation, medically. But could you go through your current symptoms?"

Arakajane with unrelieved _karakten_ experienced nausea, anxiety, irritability, fatigue, headaches, hot flashes, and an aversion to touch by anyone but their sexual partners. Kat complained of all of these and apologized to Elim for screeching at him in the kitchen; Elim assured them he wasn't offended. If only they'd told him!

Julian had treatments for several of these ailments in his medkit, which he speedily supplied, and said he'd have the rest couriered over from the hospital. He also ran scans with his tricorder and took a blood sample. 

"And I'll be back tomorrow to check on you and talk some more," the doctor told them. "Hopefully you'll be feeling better."

Kat was lying down again, eyes at half-mast. Julian must have given them a sedative. "I'd tell you not to trouble yourself," they mumbled, "but I know you will."

Elim and Julian let themselves out and went to the car Julian was provided as part of his ambassadorial duties. It was initially implemented for safety but was also extremely useful for helping the Human beat the Kardasi heat – and now, for keeping the pregnant man off his feet. 

Garak took the driver's seat and for a couple of minutes drove in silence. "There's something I don't understand, dear."

"Hmm?" Julian looked away from the window. "What's that?"

"Well, if Kat's trouble is that... _they_... need to get close to someone, so they can ‘switch over’ and have sex, why don't they just do that? Why sit it out or rely on the herbal remedies or the medicine you just prescribed?" 

Julian groaned. "Oh, Elim. You didn't read the medical reports... Of _course_ you'd wonder that. No, that wouldn't work at all. You see, Kat needs another _Arakajane_ to make it work. Their pheromones set one another off."

Elim screwed his eyes to the roadway. "And that's not ever going to happen."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Arakajane sexuality and gender, as outlined starting in this chapter, is pretty much stolen, with some adaptations, from one of my all-time favorite novels, [_The Left Hand of Darkness_](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Left_Hand_of_Darkness) by Ursula K. Le Guin (one of my favorite writers). It came out in 1969 and in 1970 won both the Hugo and Nebula Awards as the year's Best Novel (science fiction). I could go on and on about why it's so awesome, but hey, click the Wiki link, go the library, buy the book, I don't care, just READ IT, if you haven't. One thing I'll say is that it starts out a bit dry, just bureaucratic and anthropology reports, but the more you read, the deeper it gets. It really makes you think.


	6. Questions and Answers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was able to get this chapter done quite quickly, both because it flowed out easily and because it's not as long as previous chapters. In the outline I had about twice as many things happening, but I've decided that will have to wait until Chapter 7. I think there's quite enough to chew on right here.
> 
> Meanwhile, a few notes here, and then scroll down after the chapter for some more personal stuff:
> 
> 1) Once again, I'd like to note that it's really HARD to use non-standard pronouns. I think they/their/themself as third person singular will and should be standard someday, but right now, my brain isn't there. So I had to correct myself a frustrating amount of times. And then correct again. And again. Then do find & replace on "he," "him" etc. just to be sure I had them all! LOL.
> 
> 2) Thanks again to Ursula K. Le Guin for her AMAZING novel _The Left Hand of Darkness_ from whom I've yanked (and adapted) yet more biological and sociological details, which appear in this chapter. I will say I did add some more of my own anthropology. (I was briefly an anthropology major and love that stuff, so yay.)
> 
> 3) I love how this story has somehow ended up allowing me to explore all kinds of queer theory, gender theory, feminist and sociological concepts I got into in college (20+ years ago) or which just don't come up in my "everyday" life. Including this chapter, we have: 1) misgendering, 2) gender-neutral pronouns, 3) heteronormative bias, 4) sexual bias (assuming everyone is sexual), 5) xenophobia, 6) how your thinking gets messed up by binary paradigms.
> 
> Anyway, I am getting my nerd on...

The next day Elim found himself restless. With university-wide testing – unrelated to his program – taking place throughout the day, he didn't have to go into work. Yet when he tried using this free time to grade papers or get in extra preparation or reading, he found himself distracted. He couldn't even blame this on Inda or the children, as by midmorning, all of them were out of the house. And Julian was up at the hospital. 

No, his inability to focus or make productive use of his time was due to someone who wasn't there at all, namely Katajan. 

Upon returning from Kat’s apartment the night before, he and Julian had sat down for dinner with the family and followed the schedule of usual evening activities. But as soon as Elim had been able to be alone, shutting himself in his office while Julian was occupied elsewhere, a swarm of thoughts and emotions had descended on him. 

Guilt at not recognizing his friend's situation, even knowing they had concealed it. Anger that they had felt that need to conceal their identity. Empathetic pain for his friend's loneliness – which he had felt almost from the beginning, but now realized was an even deeper loneliness than he had realized. And there was confusion; so many things that Elim just didn't understand yet, questions that whirled around, formless. When something falls outside of a fundamental paradigm, it takes the mind and one's language time to catch up. 

All these things had troubled him the night before. In bed, he had spoken about some of them with Julian. They had gone over the mundane details, with the doctor repeating the clinical explanation of how Katajan's sexuality worked. Which did not make Elim feel any better, as after the explanation was given, the story still lacked any happy resolution.

By noon he had at least prepared his classes the following day, so he gave up the pretense of work. He went out back to the greenhouse, where he had a comfortable lounge chair and the air smelled of orchids. He brought with him a carafe of cold water and a slim volume of poems on the subject of loneliness by Na'di'im, translated from the Hebitian. He wasn't sure he would actually read the poetry, but he brought it with him anyway. 

After settling into the chair, he poured himself a glass of water, drank about a quarter of the glass, and began to consider matters in a meditative fashion. This could be much more useful than worrying while trying to do other things. 

Calmly, he posed the question of what it must be like for his friend to be functioning in what was to them, socially, such a strange world. A world of binaries and hypersexualism. Elim, Julian, and everyone and anyone they knew took it as a given that you were a _man_ or _woman_ or, in rare cases, something of _each_. But whatever you were, but you did not _fluctuate_ in between, physically, or _switch_ back and forth. And you were never, _nothing_ , _neuter_ , _neutral_. 

Likewise, sexuality was always “turned on” somewhat; not that you always _were_ turned on, but ordinarily a person could _be_ turned on given the right stimulus, the right mood, etc. Not so for Arakajane. They were turned _off_ , except by biological imperatives, during specific periods of time. And only within their own species.  

Kat had generally been doing well on Kardasia, but one thing they had struggled with was making friends. All along Elim had assumed this was a product of xenophobia, of Kardasi assuming Kat was not "friend material" or simply not bothering to get close enough to them to get to know them. But what if it was something else? Another factor?  
  
What if Kat's sexlessness put them at some social disadvantage in a society of men and women, male and female? In a society where sexuality often ran as an undercurrent? Kat would not have picked up on that undercurrent. People might have felt an undercurrent coming from Kat, but they would be _imagining_ it – just as they had been _imagining_ their gender – they were  _not_ a man, as people imagined, _nor_ were they a woman. And in all this time on Kardasia, Kat had been allowing others to see them at something they were not, to keep the majority comfortable and to avoid conflict, being "different."

By the time Elim had followed these thoughts down their various paths, he had finished almost the entire carafe of water. But he could not face the little book of poems, because he had enough memories of loneliness in his own past to imagine his friend's. 

* * *

When the hour was halfway between mid-afternoon and dinner time, and Julian wasn't home from his now shorter hospital shift, Elim began to worry. Then he remembered the doctor had promised to check on Katajan. Even so, it was an hour before his husband walked through the door, medkit in hand, and he looked too tired for Elam's liking. 

"Everything all right?" he asked, taking the kit and ushering his spouse upstairs to their bedroom. 

Julian trudged up the stairs. "Fine," he allowed. "If you mean me anyway. Where are you going with me?" 

Elim refrained from answering right away, instead stopping just inside the bedroom entrance and kissing Julian on one of his lovely cheekbones. "I'm glad to hear it. I'm giving you a foot rub anyway." He gestured towards the bed. "So go lie down and tell me how Kat is."

With Elim delivering a knees-to-toes massage to his deliciously pants-less spouse, a type of informal medical report was delivered. Katajan had told Julian it was fine for the doctor to share any of their medical and personal details with Elim, as he already knew so much and was a friend. 

On the one hand, Kat was indeed feeling a bit better, from a physiological standpoint. Anti-anxiety medication had them less agitated and irritable. Julian had also been able to assuage their headache, although not their nausea, as that stemmed from a complex stew of hormonal factors – chiefly the fact that Katajan was not around their own kind. 

Such a situation was unknown on Arakajan, Julian had gathered, as Kat had explained that their present condition was for the most part considered mythical or something stemming from only the most extreme situations, such as accidental strandings. In their society, when one had a need for sex – going into phase, _karakten_ – one was always able to relieve it. 

From the very first cycle, in adolescence, Arakajane universally either sought public houses maintained for the purpose of _coming-together_ , or they participated in arranged matches, depending on the culture. No one was left out. Arakajane could continue to visit the _karakten_ houses throughout their lives, even after being bonded to permanent partners. One caveat was that adults were expected that they practice contraception in public houses if their partner was not their permanent mate with whom they were producing children. This was to minimize conflict amongst the clans.

And this brought up the matter of the clans, a whole separate matter of anthropology. Arakajane did not live in nuclear families or even the type of extended families that Kardasi favored, but instead lived as part of clans. Usually clans were known for one or more dominating traits, such as a particular trade or special ability. Katajan's clan, as they themself had offhandedly mentioned once, was known for its gift of language – ancient, foreign, translation, working with books, etc. These traits were of course reinforced through breeding. Marriage for love was perfectly understood and accepted as a concept, but an Arakajane who could also find a mate who had traits that matched their own clan, so they could better bond to it, was meeting a cultural norm. Katajan's mate Iki had come from a clan known for handcrafts but was also proficient in poetry, and so had pleased Kat's clan. They had lived in their own house, which was part of a large complex inhabited by Kat’s clan 

"How were you able to get all this out of them?" Elim questioned, spooned behind Julian on the bed, a half hour later. "They never told me any of this."

Julian sighed softly. "It's really no wonder. First they had to get past the 'big thing.' And then all of this… talking about how things _were_ , is just painful." 

He turned onto his back, towards Elim. "I don't think you or I realized just how stoic they've been all along. They’ve had to have been tremendously hurt. I'm not a psychiatrist, – as I've said many times before – but after the trauma of… annihilation… and with this separation and with this isolation, there's a lot of pressure on them, there’s got to be. But you don't see them exploding, giving up. You just see them being cheerful and inquisitive and helpful. Holding it together."

Elim turned sideways, not all the way, but enough that he could comfortably rub Julian's rounded belly and nuzzle his shoulder. "They weren’t like that today, I gather."

"No." Julian set his hand atop Elim's, following it along its path. "As I said, physiologically they're doing better, and they're relieved to talk about these things, but they're also sad. Of course. the cycle makes it worse. They're more emotional."

"Venting?" Elim inquired. 

"A bit. For example, they really do like Kardasia, in many, many ways, but the assumptions about their gender and the pronouns are grating on them. They know no one means badly and that it's their own responsibility to correct them, but it makes them uncomfortable." 

"Couldn't they go to Magdred or one by one to colleagues and neighbors and let them know?" Elim asked, turning fully onto his right side, wrapping his left arm around what remained of Julian's waist. 

"They could, and perhaps they will, but they're worried that it's too late and it will seem strange." Julian fondled Elim's arm. "I suppose all we can do is encourage them. Although they did use gender-neutral pronouns and words on Vulcan. Kat said the Vulcans never seem to get hung up on such biological or sociological differences and were happy to use whatever terms they requested." 

Elim wasn't surprised to hear this about Vulcans. "You have that embassy event later, dear. I think we had both be getting a nap before we go out. But first, was there anything else Kat told you?"  

Julian squeezed Elim's shoulder. "Yes. They said the first two times they went into phase after the genocide, when they were in Federation care, they wanted to die." Elim stiffened, and Julian stroked his neck ridge soothingly. "The first time, they tried to commit suicide, but were caught. The second time, they were put on suicide watch. They had been put on therapy, which continued for months. Kat was able to get through much of their post-traumatic stress thanks to that therapy, but I don't think the Federation team quite understood the significance of _karakten_ or the other gender issues, because that's what often made them so lonely." 

After that, they didn't talk much, but after the lights were out and an alarm set, Elim did have one more question. "I know you tried to tell me why Kat suddenly told you all this, like a dam breaking, but it still seems strange. I'm their _friend_ , have spent much more time with them, and yet they tell all this to you. Why?"

"Because I'm a doctor, _ss'avi_ ," Julian relied sleepily. "People tell me _everything_."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> On the last chapter, I received a really thoughtful, nice comment today from [OperaRiot](http://archiveofourown.org/users/OperaRiot/pseuds/OperaRiot) which I wanted to share here:
>
>> I'm reading and loving the questions you're exploring with this narrative. It's hitting especially close to home in some ways: I just moved three time zones away from home to start grad school, and am negotiating the various issues of being alone around new people and passing/not passing/"coming out." Very often I take an approach similar to Katajan, i.e. if an assumption about my identity is incorrect but inoccuous, it's easier to let it be-- but it comes with it the loss of being known and understood.
> 
> This struck me because I know some of this story, what I have Kat going through, is autobiographical for me. I am transgender (cisgender woman who has always felt dissonance with that body), bisexual / sometimes asexual, but outwardly I am taken as anything but. Mostly I am taken as a lesbian woman or even I guess (by weirdos?) as a straight woman or a fag hag, with assumptions about my sex life, relationships, etc. People see what they expect to. By and large, I do NOT go around correcting people.
> 
> This does NOT mean I have any shame about what I am. Far from it. If you ask me if I'm bi, trans, asexual, whatever, I will volunteer. I will talk about it. I've been out for (... _math_... since Bill Clinton was in his 1st term), lived in a queer dorm, was a queer issues reporter, have been and done all the queer things, blah blah blah... I just don't have things that make me stand "OUT" to people. For example, I've never been in a relationship, so people can't point to a boyfriend, wife, etc. and infer my orientation. And I fucking hate rainbows. So unless I go around saying "Hello, I'm Wendy, here is all my gender and orientation info," people are just going to have to get to know me VERY well to find that stuff out. 
> 
> At my present employer, a large university that's super GLBT-friendly, it took me years to feel completely comfortable just casually making it rather clear that I'm not straight. Hanging in my office I have posted a quote (from "Six Word Autobiographies") that reads "Tried Men. Tried Women. Love Cats." People love it. And get it. Same thing with my neighbors. My neighborhood is VERY tight, but I was always such a freak about, I don't know, not being DIRECT about expressing myself. But now I wear my "How To Pick Up Chicks" T-shirt (with a fork-lift operator lifting chicken chicks) around and everybody gets it. 
> 
> ANYWAY, what I'm trying to say is, I guess I have spent a lot of time wishing people knew me better but letting them making assumptions.


	7. Putting a Finger on It

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **UPDATED NOTE - 9/21/16**  
>  I've changed the date on this chapter to reflect the fact I've just implemented some extensive edits. A sensitive and astute reader pointed out several sections that were problematic, chiefly in terms of issues surrounding Katajan's sexuality and gender, plus Garak's actions/reactions. After some back and forth, I realized that yeah, it would be an improvement to fix those things. (Note: I also made a change to [Chapter 5](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7918279/chapters/18375409) for a similar reason, based on the same helpful reader's suggestion.)
> 
> REGULAR NOTES
> 
> See Chapter 1 for full story notes.
> 
> Got another full-length chapter done, despite having a lot going on. I'm so glad I outlined almost this entire story in advance or it'd be easier to get stuck and put of writing. At least when I know what I've got ahead of me, I can write little bit on the bus, the train, at the bus stop, lying on the couch while catsitting, etc. And BTW, I mentioned this on the last story I posted, but I swear I write most of this fanfic on my iPhone, dictating and/or typing it into Evernote, editing it, then doing a final edit in Word before I past it in here. That way I can write it on the go but give it some scrutiny and polish before it goes public.
> 
> Comments are most welcome! I got such a kick out of all the ones that came in after Ch. 5!

By the time of the ambassadorial function that evening, Julian seemed much refreshed. As always, Elim took care that his husband's attire matched his status; not only did he wear stylish, custom-tailored "maternity" wear, but the outfit was immaculate and suited to the day's weather. 

In the car on the way over, they once again discussed Katajan, albeit briefly.  

"I wonder what sort of diplomats the Arakajane would have made," Julian remarked. 

Elim considered. "Well, for one thing, there would be no sordid affairs. At least not between them and any other embassies."

"True," Julian agreed. "But are those really so common?"

Elim chuckled as he steered through the city streets. "Well, _you_ certainly wouldn't know. I can, however, tell you that when it was my business to know such things... yes, I observed it was something that occurred with some frequency."

"Well, then there's one point in their favor... in theory." Julian slumped back in his seat. "It's terrible. It really is."

Elim took a deep breath. "Yes."

What else was there to say?  

* * *

The diplomatic event was the opening reception for an interplanetary commerce event. Representatives from Kardasia's remaining colony worlds had gathered for trade talks, including discussions with two Gamma Quadrant civilizations with mineral holdings not found in Kardasi territory. The Federation was providing assistance with the negotiations, due to the number of parties involved and the presence of species from the other side of the wormhole. Although these species were non-aggressors in the Dominion war, participation in larger trade deals was still a novelty. 

Ambassador Bashir's role was to represent the Federation, not only to all the Kardasi parties but to the otherworlder groups, including those from the Gamma Quadrant. For purposes of the evening, this meant Julian circulating amongst various clusters of people, chatting affably and introducing those he knew to those he was just meeting. When there were Kardasi involved whom he already knew, Elim often circulated at his husband's side, but at other times he let Julian mingle on his own and socialized separately. Such was the case when Julian was speaking to some Bajorans. 

Elim approached a cluster of individuals from one of the Gamma Quadrant worlds, Elooj. Like Kardasi they had scales, but their skin was reddish rather than gray, and their body type was willowy. Privately Julian had admittedly the Elooji reminded him of certain Earth chameleons. 

The Elooji already were already aware of Elim's relationship to the ambassador, but further introductions were made. After that small talk turned to food, then weather, then agriculture. Fortunately, at least one Elooji dared to express some genuine opinions beyond bland observations. 

"Excuse me, Professor Garak, but I can't help but notice... or at least assume... and I mean no offense," the woman hedged, "but... your husband is pregnant?"

Ah, straight from bland to somewhere between awkward and rude. But Elim didn't mind too badly. "Yes, he is. Rather hard to hide at this point. More than halfway to term now," he explained affably. 

The Elooji nodded. "Right. Especially on a man." She frowned briefly. "He... is a _he_ , correct? And the pregnancy was arranged artificially?"

Elim hoped this woman was not planning any kind of career in diplomacy. "Yes, to both questions. Human males do not carry the children, and the sexes fall generally into male and female. That's not true with all humanoids of course, but Human and Kardasi, yes."

Another Elooji spoke up. "Yes, I am familiar with a few of those exceptions, from the Gamma Quadrant. Dual-sexed species, for example."

"We use an equivalent word in Kardasi. In Standard the term is _intersex_ , meaning ‘between sexes,’ I believe," Elim explained. "The ambassador my husband might know the etymology better.” His mind leapt naturally to Katajan. “I'm actually familiar with one Gamma Quadrant ‘exception’ myself. I only know the species by its own name, not what you might call them."

The two Elooji arched their browridges inquiringly

"The Arakajane did not have... intercourse... or sexuality, except during specific phases," he explained. "They would sometimes turn male, sometimes female, and anyone could be a mother or father."  

"You speak in the past tense?" the woman asked. 

Elim nodded. "They were annihilated by the Dominion. All except one, who now lives here on Kardasia. Another species, allies of theirs, were also decimated down to zero. They were dual-sexed."

Here there was a spark of recognition from the man. "We were not frequent traders with that people, but I knew of them. I read in the war accounts of their end. There is no greater tragedy." Elim inclined his head in acknowledgement. "It is well we are past those days. May we not see them again for many, many lifetimes." 

* * *

“You did what?!”

Julian pulled himself into a sitting position and glared at Elim. So much for post-coital lassitude.

“We were talking about dual-sexed species and I told them about Kat—”

“By name?!” Now his husband’s cheeks were coloring slightly. Not good. What had he done?

“Actually, no, dear,” he said calmly, reaching out to stroke the back of one of Julian’s hands. “I explained briefly I knew of member of a species that had gone from ‘neutral’ to either male or female, when in a hormonal phase. And as I happened to use the past tense, they asked about it, so naturally I explained about the genocide and how my friend was the only one of his kind left--- _what_?”

“Elim.” His husband’s eyes were dark and serious. And he’d withdrawn his hand.

“What?” Barely the intonation of a question. Julian raised an eyebrow. “You’re saying I shouldn’t have said that?” No reaction. “But it’s true.” 

Julian sighed. “Alright. Perhaps it’s a difference of ethics here, darling, but you do realize that it would only take one of those Elooji with a computer a couple of minutes to work out Kat’s the person you were talking about. There’s only one Gamma Quadrant species that’s been wiped down to one individual and it’s them.”

Elim nodded. “It _would_ be easy, yes.” 

“But we know Kat isn’t ready for this to be generally known,” Julian explained, his voice patient but carrying urgency. “They haven’t told their employer. Their neighbors. _We_ didn’t know until yesterday. And you told people _you just met_ – and who Kat’s _never_ met or heard of.” 

“Oh.” His shoulders sank. “I see. Is this like your vaunted ‘doctor-patient confidentiality’?” A Federation concept which Elim was grateful to see applied to himself but which in practical terms could be inconvenient, he’d discovered.

“Yes,” Julian huffed. “Exactly.” He reached out and squeezed Elim’s shoulders. “I’m not angry at you, exactly. It was in the moment, I know. I’m just… Well, please _don’t_ do that again. It probably won’t have any consequences this time, but as a general principle?”

“Don’t go spreading Kat’s business.”

Julian, now embracing him awkwardly, the swell of the baby between them, nodded. 

“I suppose I was just so eager to talk about them. My thoughts kept going back to them over and over all night. Not just when I was talking with those Elooji, but other times."

Julian nuzzled Elim's temple. "What's strange about that? It's a lot to process. I thought about it all day at work and even tonight. In fact, I think I have half an idea of a way to help."

"Oh?" He turned his head enough to meet Julian's lips in a brief kiss. "And what has that busy brain of yours come up with?" 

Julian drew back and took a breath. A lecture? Now? "Well, I started thinking about their sex – inability to have it, I mean – problem scientifically, medically." Elim rolled his eyes up toward the ceiling. "Don't give me that look. Just because it's late doesn't mean I can't talk science." 

He rolled on one side, propped up on an elbow. "I started thinking about the possibility of synthetically producing the pheromones or whatever other chemical agents that would be present in another Arakajane. And how if you did so and exposed Kat to such a substance, it would trigger their sex changes, and then bingo, problem solved, at least in a simple sense." He tapped his chin with his free hand. "In fact, if you could synthesize the substance and say place it on a partner, who Kat would then spend time around, say overnight in bed, this could actually simulate the native sexuality quite well." 

Elim gently placed a hand on Julian's hip. "You're amazing. Leave it to you to start daydreaming about something as complex as that."

"I wasn't daydreaming; I was–"

"Kidding, _ss'avi_ ," Elim assured. "I do have a question, however. How could you synthesize such a substance? From a species that doesn't exist beyond Kat?"

"Ah, well, that's where all that Arakajane archiving comes into play. Among all the data that was recovered was the chemical compositions of the _karakten_  'musks' – that's the translation. I checked the database overview during lunch break today. And we do have Kat here to actually use for sampling if needed."

Elim leaned in for a kiss. "Alright, you've convinced me. Now I have another question. Kat would use this substance, the synthetic musk, with a partner, right? Unless, I suppose they masturbate." A nod from Julian. "Well, isn't that a bit of a complication? Kat would have to have a partner ready at a time when they're in phase, and then the partner has to be willing to use this musk – and they have to understand Kat's sexuality in the first place. And let me repeat, this can only work when Kat has already come into phase naturally, so they'd already have to have met someone."  

Julian opened his mouth as if to offer a rebuttal, then closed it. "I see your point, dear. Doesn't mean my idea is an invalid but, yes, the implementation is something entirely different. That will take a lot of work, and of course input from Kat, if my research shows it might really be possible."

Elim shook his head in mock admonishment. "You and your implacable, sympathetic perseverance. Not that I can complain, as without it I'd be dead."

As they settled themselves in for the night, he suspected they were both thinking back to those dark days on Deep Space Nine. If Julian hadn't been so stubborn, more so even than Elim, where would they be now?  

* * *

A couple of days later, Elim was meeting Kat for lunch at the _bak'rivar_ place. 

"So yesterday when I returned to work, Elana came to check on me and see if I was all right," the archivist confided. They were back in Kardasi clothes, which to Elim's eyes now seemed almost strange. "She also tried to get me to tell her what was the matter."

Elim gave his friend a sympathetic look. "And did you tell her?"

"No, of course not," Kat answered quickly. 

Frustrated with his friend's tendency to obfuscate – how ironic would Julian find that? – Elim decided some intervention was in order.  

"Maybe you should tell her, _just_ her," he suggested. "As a test. See how she reacts."

Kat set down their skewer. "No, I couldn't."

"Why? Are you ashamed?" 

Kat was instantly indignant. "Of _course_ not! Why would I be? How could I be?"

Elim nibbled on a piece of _zabu_ meat and considered his next move. Kat meanwhile looked irritated. Good. They needed to see sense. 

"All right," he began. "So you're not ashamed and yet you won't tell her. Are you afraid? Are you afraid it will affect things at your work, perhaps jeopardize your job?" 

"Maybe. And my job is important to me," they said emphatically. "It is almost all I have."

_Oh, Kat. You are so lonely._

"I understand your job's important to you. But be rational," Elim urged. " _Really_ think about it. What is the worst case scenario you can see _realistically_ happening?" 

Kat grimaced but Elim plowed ahead. "Picture it in your mind. You go up to the director's office or you send him a message. You explain about your gender and what pronouns you would like used – and that roughly every five months you need medical time off." 

He paused a beat, to let his message soak in. "Do you really, honestly believe that Madgred, who's done right by you all this time, who entrusted you with the _Na'Satt_ , would suddenly fire you? Over something that's not work related? That's just a question of biology?"

Having taken the opportunity to eat half a skewer, Kat finished chewing before speaking, evidently considering. "I'm not sure..." they said slowly. "But it is true... that is the nature of the future, you cannot know all. And I must admit, it does seem doubtful, when presented rationally, that Magdred would take such drastic action." 

Finally, some progress. "I do hope you will consider it then," Elim said kindly. "At least start with Elana. I met her, remember, and I can't imagine her reacting negatively. You work in an archive full of educated, rational people."

Kat gave a barely perceptible nod and reached for a glass of water. 

"Has anyone here in the Alpha Quadrant ever reacted badly?" Elim asked. "I already know Vulcan was fine, but sometime during your stay with the Federation?"

Putting down the glass, Kat cleared their throat. "Yes. Not the doctors or any medical staff," they explained, "but others. Staff, enlisted, civilians."

"Did it happen often?" 

Kat sighed. "I'm not sure what 'often' is, but it happened a few times. Maybe six or seven? People finding out and asking questions in a way I didn't like. Not being... respectful. Not really trying to understand. So after that I decided not to bring it up so much."

Elim was getting the picture. "And when you came to Kardasia, you resumed that same pose, except I think even more so?" 

"Yes, all right, I did," they admitted. "But your people are known to be considerably more xenophobic, Elim, and I was trying very much to fit in and not make any trouble, any fuss." 

Moving deliberately and not too fast, Elim took one of Kat's hands. "My friend, being yourself is _never_ making a fuss. I think you should do it." 

* * *

Over the next three weeks, as he continued to meet with Kat for lunch, Elim was pleased to hear the otherworlder reporting progress on their "assignment" of being a bit more open about their identity. 

Elana had not reacted badly at all; Kat had recollected with wonder the way she'd offered a sympathetic ear as well as to cover for them during any future absences. Or even bring over food if they needed it! 

And she'd told them to have a chat with Madgred, which after two weeks, they had. The director, being older, more set in his ways and more a bureaucrat than an academic type, was a bit more taken aback – though he did attempt to hide it, Kat reported. Even so, there seemed to be no negative consequences from their conversation, and the need for sick time every few months was accepted. 

But though there was progress in this area, there was another area that troubled Elim. While Kat did give updates on these and other matters from their work, including more Cardassian poetry they were reconstructing, they seemed to be distancing themself. The questions about Elim and his family were far less frequent. Overall their meetings seemed more impersonal, less like meetings of friends. After the intimacy they'd shared during Kat's _karakten_ , Elim had assumed they'd grow closer, but that seemed not to be the case.

After most of a month had passed, Elim brought this second concern to Julian, describing it in detail, beyond the couple of short mentions he'd given it previously. It was a weekday afternoon and they were sitting in the back garden drinking tea. 

"So you sense something has changed between the two of you?" Julian clarified. Now at six months, he had his chair half-inclined and his feet elevated. 

"I can't put my finger on it, but yes. I hope it wasn't that I pushed him into talking with Elana. Or something I said or did during that _karakten_." Julian hummed. Looking over, Elim saw him fingering his belly. "Something wrong?" 

Julian stopped fidgeting. "No, no, I was just thinking. Actually I have been thinking about it before today, as you did mention this earlier. And I met up with Kat for tea and sweets just a few days ago."

Elim abruptly set his tea down. "You didn't tell me that."

"No, I didn't. But if you'd let me explain..."

Trying to rein in what he knew were some quite primitive feelings of jealousy and ownership, Elim sighed. "All right. You met with them without telling me. What happened? And how does this relate to what I just told you?"

So Julian laid it out for him. After hearing Elim mention Kat's subtly changed demeanor and having not seen them for a few weeks, he had reached out on his own. 

One afternoon they'd met near the hospital. While they'd had a pleasant time talking, Julian had also picked up that Kat was acting a bit differently. With him, it wasn't impersonal, as they definitely were asking questions about the baby and the children at home. 

What had changed is Kat hardly brought up Elim or the things they'd been talking about. And when Julian picked up on this and asked if they were avoiding the subject, Kat had said no, it was just that they felt they must be such a bother to Elim. He was acting like a counselor when they had once been more like friends. Julian had assured them that nothing had changed, but Kat had simply shrugged and said they hoped not. 

"So what does it mean?" Elim wondered. 

"Yes, about that." Julian reached out between the two chairs and patted his husband's hand. "As I said, I've been thinking about it, and I have a hypothesis. It's why I didn't tell you about our meeting. I planned to when I told you about this. Ready?" Elim nodded. "I'm not a psychiatrist, said it before, but working from observation and reasoning, I would say that after what happened a few weeks ago, our friend is feeling differently towards you and perhaps towards both of us, I'm not sure.

"I speculate, Elim, that they’re attracted to you.”

“What? Really?” he blurted.

Julian chuckled. “Is that surprising? _I_ certainly find you attractive!”

“But...” Elim struggled to find words to catch up to the thoughts in his head. “ _How_ can he can find me attractive? How can he feel _attraction_?”

Julian leaned away from his husband and gave him a sideways look. “Oh, Elim.” Now he leaned back the other way and put an arm around Elim’s shoulder. “Surely you are confusing _attraction_ with _lust_. Surely you realize people feel attraction, appreciation, a desire for greater closeness, and of course love, without bringing into it any of the sexual element. Surely Kat’s people did not evolve to randomly choose mates based on whomever showed up in front of them during _karakten_.”

Elim blinked. Then resisted the urge for swift repartee and digested Julian’s short speech. It was possible he had made just the mistake Julian mentioned.

“You’re right,” he conceded. “I’m not sure why, but I discounted out of hand the idea Kat could have such feelings. I knew I was getting something off of him, but I couldn’t put my finger on it, because I just wasn’t ready to see it. He’s different… but not _that_ different…”

All through this halting confession, Julian had gazed at Elim patiently. “Exactly so,” his husband agreed. “So that's what I've been thinking about. But there's a second part."

Elim snapped out of his momentary reverie. "A second part?"

"Yes. The first part was just assessing the situation. The second part of my thought is coming up with a solution. And I think I have one."

Elim considered. "The synthetic compound you talked about?" That had been an interesting proposal. "The idea had merit but was full of complications."

"True," Julian agreed. "But I think I've come up with a way to make it less complicated."

"And this would involve...?" Elim lightly squeezed Julian's hand, which he was still holding. 

"Telling Kat about the possibility of the compound and then offering to use it with them." 

_Offering to use it with them. Offering to use it with them. Offering to–_

"You mean asking Kat if they'd allow us – me? – to help him through _karakten_? As more than _friends_?" he asked pointedly, rising from his chair. 

"Exactly," said Julian, matter of fact. 

Elim stood up. "Excuse me. I need a drink. Or seven." He walked several paces, then turned. "I can't talk about this now."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Readers: Curious to know if any of you saw this coming?


	8. Bruises

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because it's relevant to this chapter and certainly interesting, here's some etymology...
> 
>  **Word Origin and History for _bruise_ , v.**  
> Old English _brysan_ "to crush, bruise, pound," from Proto-Germanic * _brusjanan_ , from PIE [Proto-Indo-European] root * _bhreus_ \- "to smash, crush" (cf. Old Irish _bronnaim_ "I wrong, I hurt;" Breton _brezel_ "war," Vulgar Latin _brisare_ "to break"). Merged by 17c. with Anglo-French _bruiser_ "to break, smash," from Old French _bruisier_ "to break, shatter," perhaps from Gaulish * _brus-_ , from the same PIE root. 
> 
> Meanwhile, thanks to everybody who's left comments and kudos this week. Much appreciated, as always!

It was nearly nightfall, the light low, as Elim gazed idly on the empty glass on the table beside him. The bottle of kanar wasn't empty, not even close; he hadn't had the seven drinks he'd threatened, only four. He hadn't gulped them all down quickly – well, the first one, yes, he had – but rather had sipped them as his thoughts spun out before him. 

Two urgent matters coiled round and round one another, spiraling like the double-helix of DNA. He knew he must eventually decouple them, but at the moment he couldn't.

The first matter was of course Kat – their nature, their attraction, their problem. Elim had been caught uncharacteristically flat-footed by the notion of his friend being attracted to him, but now, looking back, he could see all the signs had been there. Not just the recent changes – the distancing when he'd expected greater closeness – but behaviors that had been there all along. 

Could it be that way Kat sat back appraising him across the table at lunch was perhaps not always based entirely on their fascination with literature? Or the way they always arrived early for their meetings? And then there were the little gifts they'd brought him, three times now – delicious sweets like they'd shared in that first visit to their apartment. Maybe if they'd written poems it would have been more obvious. If Julian's supposition proved true of course. 

And how did he feel about this? Surprise had come first. Then confusion, although Julian had cleared that up a bit. And he was flattered. Who wouldn't be? Neither revulsion nor anger came into it. Kat was his friend and a beautiful one.

Elim had thought so from the first. To his eye, their body, especially their face, looked sculpted, designed to turn aside wind, water, or whatever harsh element confronted it. This despite the apparent softness of their matte black skin. Their high, triangular forehead, framed by beaded braids, was like a billboard proclaiming their loveliness.

And yet though Elim had seen, and felt, he had had not allowed himself to realize. Why? Because of Julian. 

This of course was the second matter spinning and crashing around his head. Julian's proposal for engineering the hormonal musk made sense and seemed the very thing to grant his friend the normalcy sexual beings took for granted. Julian was a brilliant doctor and scientist, so of course it would work. That was not the issue.

The issue was how his husband could even suggest he be Kat's bed partner, even once! In the second stage of their courtship, they have both expressed a mutual desire for exclusivity in their relationship. Elim had never wavered from this position in the years since, and apparently had not been tempted when presented with Kat, although it was true he was _very_ focused on Julian. The man was pregnant with their child; how could he not be? But now Julian was giving him the okay to be with someone else, at least once? This was confusing. They would have to talk, because there was no way he was ever going to end this confusion by going round and round and round in his head. 

Elim got up, took his glass and bottle and went inside. He'd skipped dinner, needing to be alone, And so now he went to the kitchen to make himself supper.

Julian was sitting at the small table sipping a glass of tea, a plate of scones in front of him.

"Baby hungry?" Elim asked, hoping to sound casual. 

Julian glanced down at his stomach and patted it gently with his free hand. "Don't know about the baby, but I was — again – so I came in here. I assume you were in the greenhouse?"

Elim was fixing himself a simple bowl of soup and a couple pieces of toast  when he replied. "Yes. I needed to think. I still need to. And I'd like us to talk." 

Julian set down his tea. "Are you angry with me?" he asked softly. 

Elim shrugged, not turning around. "No, dear. I'm just... confused. Did some thinking and it helped, but I think we should talk later. Tomorrow night." He turned, carrying supper on a small tray, and approached the table. "Right now I need to review my lecture for tomorrow, and then I believe early night's sleep in in order." 

He stepped away toward the door, only to see Julian pushing away from the table. “I’ll come with you to your study. I’ll sit and read while you review. No talking, I promise." 

* * *

Julian proved true to his word and after an hour Elim had completed his work. He joined his husband on the study’s small couch and read beside him, one hand laid affectionately on his warm thigh. He didn't want Julian to think he was angry, because he wasn't. He was just... _uncertain_ where things stood.  

When Julian began to nod off, Elim nudged him awake and together they headed upstairs to bed. They spoke quietly of their plans for the next day and exchanged assorted work news and gossip. Julian revealed that his good friend and colleague Peldar had accepted the courtship proposal of a pediatric nurse. She'd been widowed in the war but like most of Kardasia was now finally recovering. 

Julian was asleep in under five minutes, curled on his side, brow uncreased and lips slightly parted. Elim, propped up on one elbow, gazed down on him for a few minutes before turning onto his back. 

Almost immediately the whirling double-helix of thoughts was back. If he allowed them to take off, he'd be up for hours. But training in the Order had taught him ways to quiet his mind. The ability to sleep when sleep was imperative, or stay calm or clear one's thoughts when it could save one's life, have been drilled into him. Earlier he had let his emotions and thoughts take full rein, but that was over and now it was time to rest. Tomorrow was another day.  

* * *

Strong but supple fingers massaged his neck ridges. A dark visage neared his own and while he couldn't make out the face, moments later someone was tonguing along the scales near his left ear. The mouth slid down to bite his neck–

Elim woke with a start and after quickly glancing around and seeing he was alone, groaned aloud. "Well, no doubt about it now," he muttered. 

Apparently the mind discipline that had allowed him to fall asleep quickly had not held throughout the night. While he only remembered the last fragment of the dream, he could guess that there had been more. 

Once finished with his morning routine, he met Julian and the rest of the family downstairs for breakfast. He joined in the conversation as best he could, although he felt like half his brain was still in the dream. 

As the children trickled out to grab their school supplies, Elim drew his husband into the living room. 

"I just remembered today I have a lunch date set with Kat," he said quietly. "I'm going to have to beg off." Julian's face signaled disapproval. "Not _forever_ , but I don't think I can face them, right at this moment." 

"Well, if you're sure," Julian placated, patting his shoulder. "And we'll have a long talk tonight?"

Elim nodded and, taking Julian by the shoulders, leaned in for a kiss. "I look forward to it." 

* * *

He managed to keep his mind off Kat for most of the day, with a few exceptions. 

The half hour after he received his friend's reply on his cancellation, for example. Was it his imagination, or did they sound hurt? And all during lunch, he went over the same thoughts he'd had in the greenhouse, about Kat appraising him and how much he admired their beauty. Then in the afternoon, there was periodic guilt over standing them up for lunch, even if technically he’d given notice. That wasn't very fair to Kat, was it?  

So maybe there more than a few exceptions. Maybe he thought about Kat all day, except possibly during his actual lectures and some student advisement sessions.

He worked late that day, grading essays and in some cases writing out lengthy refutations of his students' arguments. If no one challenged them at the beginning, they'd crumble and lose face the first time it happened out of university. 

As he was packing up to leave, his thoughts went back to Kat. They’d be heading home themself by that hour. Why not go over to their apartment? He could apologize for lunch. Maybe he could even assess whether he and Julian were imagining the entire situation. It would certainly help with the conversation he had planned for the evening.

Decision made, he left his office and headed to Kat's district. 

He was nearly to the apartment complex, passing an older, Dominion-blasted block, when out of the corner of his eye he caught movement. Turning slightly but enough to get a full view, he saw three figures emerging from an alley a block away. One of them was carrying some type of club and all three were panting and limping as they slunk off. He was too far away to see faces but he saw they were teenagers. Doubtless they'd been up to no good. What had they done?

It wasn't until he neared the alley entrance that he heard the cursing. And he was sure that's what it was, even though he couldn't understand the language. It was utterly foreign. It was – _Katajan!_

The evening darkness hadn't come yet but the alley wasn't catching any sun, so it was in dim light that Elim saw Kat on all fours, struggling to get up from the rubble-strewn ground. Their swearing had lessened in volume, but he could still hear the staccato of Arakajane as his friend staggered to their feet. 

"Kat!" he called, unfortunately from behind.

The otherworlder whirled around, arms out in an awkward defensive posture – and face wet with blood. "What do you wa–"

They fell to their knees and at once began to shake. "Elim..."

At once he was at their side. "I saw them running off. I knew they’d done something, but I didn't know it was to you."

Up close, he could see the damage and it didn't look good. Kat hadn't just been roughed up, they'd been beaten.

Carefully, he placed a hand on one of their shoulders, hoping it was undamaged. "Come, let me call a transport and get you to the hospital."

Kat flinched, but it wasn't all from pain. "No! No hospital, at least not now." Their words came out slightly slurred, and no wonder, as their lips were swollen. "Take me to my apartment." Once again, they got to their feet. Curses under their breath spoke of plenty of pain. 

"Alright," Elim agreed. "But first, let me clean you up some?" 

He removed a light scarf from around his own neck and gave Kat a questioning look. When he got the nod, he carefully daubed away the worst of the gore on their face and other places where it might startle passerby. It didn't show up much on their dark clothing and black skin provided less contrast than Kardasi or Human skin. 

With an arm under what he determined was Kat's good shoulder - the other one was too sore for them to raise it - Elim helped his friend out of the alley and then, as discreetly as possible, led them through the apartment complex and into their unit. Neither of them spoke. Kat was wracked with tremors – the aftershock of fear. 

"On the sofa," he said, guiding Kat over and down, then pulling up the blinds so he could see the damage. Kat had their hands curled up, close to their chest, and was directing their eyes toward the wall. 

"What did they do?" Elim asked. "Is anything broken?"

After a few moments, Kat nodded curtly, still facing the wall. "Yes, some ribs, I think. And maybe some bones in my feet. Toes. I kicked them. Maybe my shoulder? I'm not sure, I'm trying not to move it." They spoke tightly, clearly trying to manage their pain.

Elim bent and pulled one of the pillow chairs close to the sofa so he could kneel down on it. "Why aren’t we at the hospital? You have _broken bones_."

Finally, Kat turned their head. "I'll go. Sorry. I just wasn't thinking straight. I've never gone before, when this has happened." 

 _Before_? Elim's heart sank. "How many times?"

Kat sighed. “This is the third time. And the worst."

"Kat..." he groaned. "I can't–" he got up again. "I want you to talk to me more, but first let me get you cleaned up a bit." 

In the kitchen he found some small towels and a bowl, which he filled with warm water. He had no idea where his friend kept their first aid supplies, but since they were going to the hospital – hopefully – clean-up would be in adequate first step. 

Back at his friend’s side, Elim noted their trembling had lessened, but now their eyes looked teary. "I didn't want you to see," they burst out suddenly.

"See what?" he asked, reaching out for the front of Kat's tunic to open it. Kat looked down at their chest, confused. "I want to see how it looks under there and then clean everything above the waist, so let's get it off."

This process took a couple of minutes and was certainly not without pain, as evidenced by Kat's several curses, grunts, and gasps. Still, they managed to answer Elim's question. "I didn't want you to see or know that this happens. That I'm weak. I'm not like Kardasi; I can't defend myself."

Tenderly, Elim took a damp cloth to Kat's cheek. "You speak of this as if it's your fault. Tell me, what did those thugs say to you?"

Kat closed their eyes, which had begun to tear. "What do you think?" they sighed bitterly. "I know your people are _better_ , much much better than they were _before_ , but not all of them. And I'm not a Human or some otherworlder they've seen before. I stand out. Or this wouldn't have happened to me _three_ times."

As they spoke, Elim continued to wipe off blood, being careful to apply only the most minimal pressure, mindful of the broken bones and bruises he presumed were below the surface. 

Something occurred to him. "Did you contact the authorities?" Kat shook their head, just as Elim expected. "Didn't want to cause a fuss. Didn't want to be different. Didn't want it to get back to your employer."

"Right. How did you know?" they asked, sounding genuinely perplexed. 

"Because I know you. Know you well, I think." He looked at his friend's face and their upper body and limbs, which were now mostly cleaned of blood, although clearly still damaged. And they were just as beautiful as he been considering the night before and during the day and apparently in his dreams. But now was certainly not the time to take action on that matter. 

After this they kept conversation to a minimum. Elim removed Kat's sandals and found that indeed a couple of their toes were broken. From the bedroom he retrieved a light, wraparound top with wide sleeves that would be easy for his friend to slip on and off. 

As he eased in one arm, Elim asked a question he'd been mulling over. "Kat, how do you tell if you're bruised?"

Kat chuckled weakly. "I can feel it, of course. But I will tell you, Arakajane has no word that is truly equivalent to ‘bruise.’ The word that exists does not refer to anything that can be _seen_ , only _felt_. It translates literally to 'hit-hurts.'"

Elim let his friend tie the shirt's belt themself, knowing they could tell better  what would be too tight for their broken ribs. "So you have many ‘hit-hurts’?"

"At the moment, yes," they agreed wearily.

Elim crossed over to the comm station. "I'm going to call a transport to take you to the hospital. And I'm going with you – and I'm making sure a report is filed with the authorities." Naturally, Kat looked as if they were about to argue. "Please. Let me do this. As your friend."

Once a transport was on its way, he sent a message to Julian: Something had come up and he'd be missing dinner but would be home in a couple of hours. And then they would talk. 

Oh, indeed they would. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy I was able to get this chapter done today! 
> 
> [Stuff going on in my life, ignore if you like...
> 
> I've had a messed up week. On Monday I had a dentist appointment, already not fun, but then immediately afterward I tripped and fell on the sidewalk and scraped up on of my knees something awful. The thing oozed for two days straight, like a piece of slobbering meat. At least it didn't bleed. Grosssss. Four days later, it's finally got a scab, which looks a bit like beef jerky. Also gross. 
> 
> There was something else going on too, though, something good! Tuesday and Wednesday, I edited the first two thirds of [Storm Constantine](http://www.immanion-press.com/info/person.asp?id=1&type=author)'s forthcoming novel, _Blood, the Phoenix, and a Rose_ , slated to come out of [Immanion Press](<a%20href=) hopefully before December. And yes, it's a real book and I really am Storm Constantine's editor. I edited her last novel, _[The Moonshawl](http://www.immanion-press.com/info/book.asp?id=470&referer=Catalogue)_ , have co-edited four short story anthologies with her, and also edited the _Wraeththu Histories_ as well as the revised _Wraeththu Chronicles_. So basically I am the semi-official editor of Wraeththu stuff. Which is great because Wraeththu (original trilogy) is my favorite book and she's my favorite living author pretty much. ]


	9. Tea and Scones

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For full notes on this story, see Chapter 1.
> 
> Dear readers, now that I'm at this point in the story, I'm curious to hear what you think of how things are going.
> 
> BTW, I didn't plan for this one conversation to be a whole chapter. It was supposed to occur at the end of Chapter 8, but that came to its natural end. And then when I finished this important conversation, I realized it was long enough for its own chapter. So what I had planned for Chapter 9 originally just was not going to fit any more. So that will be Chapter 10. Kat will be back and, spoiler, he's out of the hospital.

By the time he arrived home – later than he'd expected – Elim found Julian in the library, anxious and suspicious. His husband immediately switched off the holovid he'd been watching.

"What've you been up to, Elim Garak?" he asked, leaning back in his favorite reading chair. "And I _know_ you've been up to something. Your message was _far_ too vague. Something _'came up_ '?"

Elim set down the tray of tea and scones he'd brought up from the kitchen, then sat down opposite his husband. "I wasn't out neutralizing security threats," he said defensively, referring to preventative measures he'd taken using Obsidian Order resources early on in their relationship. "Nothing like that. Something really did _come up_. And I didn't tell you in the message because I didn't want you to worry."

"What was it then?" Julian asked, reaching for a scone.

"Kat was assaulted."

The scone dropped to the floor. "What!?"

Julian began to get out of his chair but Elim urged him back. "Sit down. They’re fine. Well, they are _now_. I took them to the hospital."

An image of Kat flashed in his mind, on their knees shaking in the alleyway. "I'd gone to visit them after work and was walking by just as three teenagers, thugs, ran out from an alley. One had a makeshift club, so I went to investigate."

"And what did you find?" asked Julian, now gripping the arms of his chair.

"Assault, as I said. At first Kat demanded I take them to their apartment, which I did, and I quickly cleaned them up, but then they sensibly let me call a transport for the hospital."

He decided to take a cup of tea for himself. He sipped before going on. "I insisted they report it to the authorities, which they never have before." At Julian's shocked face, he elaborated. "This is the _third_ time. And the worst, they say."

Julian was indignant. "How _dare_ anyone touch them! After all they've been through, they–" He cut himself off. "What were their injuries?"

"The hospital was most definitely necessary. It was much worse than I'd thought, since you can't see bruises on an Arakajane. But tricorders found the damage." He rubbed a hand wearily over his eyes. "Two broken ribs, two bruised. Three broken fingers and a dislocated knuckle. Three broken toes – they kicked the attackers wearing sandals. Massive bruising on his back and right shoulder, and several other places, plus their face was beaten up. Scratches all over too, from hand claws. And a bruised liver and bruised... well, an organ their species has that Kardasi don't. I didn't catch the name." 

"Oh, Kat..." Now Julian did get up. He began to pace. "I can't believe it. Teenagers! Was it for money or...?"

Elim shook his head slightly. "Intolerance. When the officer took Kat’s report, they said the monsters called them a _sark_ and worse. Said they didn't belong here. And... they told them to _go home to wherever they came from_."

Julian made a sound of distress. He moved as if to kick a nearby chair, then stopped himself and instead threw up his hands. "Could they have picked a worse thing to say? Horrible. Where’s Kat now?"

"At the hospital, overnight." Elim drank deeply of his tea. "Sakan was working, as it happened, so he's there with them now and will do follow-up. Kat actually was fine with that, but then you told me they'd worked with therapists during their recovery." After years of making recommendations to the hospital administration, Peldar and Julian had succeeded in bringing in full-time psychiatric staff.

"Well, that's good news anyway." Julian finally stopped pacing and sat down resignedly in the chair he'd started in. He picked up the dropped scone and nibbled at it. "Are you going to see them tomorrow?" 

"Certainly. Probably over lunch. Although..." he considered, "I don't know if they'll be home or at work. Probably at work. Because as I told them earlier, they never want to make a fuss."

Julian nodded, now working on his scone. He put it down and wiped crumbs off his mouth. "Which reminds me... Well, poor segue... but we _are_ going to have that talk we promised one another, right?"

"Oh yes. Do you mind if I make these three remaining scones my dinner then?" he asked, reaching over to the plate.

"Not very healthy, but I know you don't make a habit of it, so no, I don't mind." He patted his stomach. "And I already ate."

Elim had already rehearsed in his head how he wanted to start. "I’d like to go first, if you don't mind." Julian motioned with his hand for him to go on. "Firstly, I want to tell you that I think you're right. About Kat being attracted to me. I didn't see it, until you said it. Then it was clear as day." 

He bit into a scone and chewed slowly. Now he had to enter the more difficult territory. "Of course I understand that they have many reasons not to say anything. Our friendship and the fact I’m _married_. On Arakajan, they have those public houses, you said, so they aren’t _entirely_ monogamous, but Kat knows that _we_ generally are. There are even more reasons. Like how Kat wouldn't ask for anything no matter _how_ badly they needed it – you _know_ they wouldn't. If I hadn't happened on them tonight, I'm not sure they would've even told me they been assaulted."

Julian was listening attentively, sipping on his tea. Elim drew in a deep breath. "They likely assume I can’t, or don’t, find them attractive. Because they're an alien." He ran a hand through his hair.  "Clearly there are still things they need to learn about me if they think I'm only attracted to Kardasi."

Julian smirked. "You'd think that would be obvious. But... So I gather you're saying you _are_ attracted?"

"Yes." He popped the last bit of scone in his mouth. "If you'd asked me that out of nowhere a week ago, I would've said no, but I've done a lot of considering since last night, and the answer seems to be yes."

"Alright. Well, that's in order then. Was there anything _else_ you want to talk about?"

Damn Julian and his smirks. "Oh, _perhaps_. After all, you _only_ suggested that I should offer myself to our friend as a sexual partner during their next time in _phase_." He crossed his arms and quirked an eye ridge. "That seems like a _significant_ topic for discussion."

The smirk disappeared; his husband looked apologetic. "I'm sorry, _ss'avi_. I realized today that my doctor's mindset took over when I made that suggestion. I was looking for a solution and it seemed so obvious. Especially when I sensed there was a mutual attraction – which you've just confirmed. But... just blurting it out like that was probably not the way to go."

"Hmmph. No." Elim turned matters over in his mind for a few moments. "So I think we can agree that this _could_ be a viable solution, but both parties would have to _agree_. And on our side, I'm not sure we can."

"Because of what we said about ‘exclusivity’?" 

"Of course because of that. And because we _have_ been exclusive. And there's a baby on the way." He had the distinct feeling Julian was forcing him to argue his case. "Why would I suddenly break out of that? And why would you be encouraging me? That is, I _think_ you're encouraging me."

Julian got his feet. "Come. Let's go over to the loveseat." Elim of course followed. "You sit down and let me snuggle on you." Elim did as he was asked. "Lovely," Julian murmured, making himself comfortable.

"Now, husband, to address these concerns of yours." He squeezed Elim's hands assuringly. "I meant it when I said I wanted exclusivity. I want to be with you, married, for the rest of my days. Have this child with you and perhaps more children. Nothing is ever going to change that. Not even the fact that we might have this opportunity to... try something a little different."

Elim jerked back. " _We_? _We_ have this opportunity? How exactly are _you_ involved?"

Julian laughed delightedly. "Well, you don't expect I would be letting you get into bed with them without me there, do you?"

Awkward as it was for him, Julian half-twisted around and nuzzled one of Elim's ears. "And not just to watch. I’m… not uninterested in Kat myself."

Elim found himself surprised, but not upset. "And you don't think that would present a problem or a threat?"

Julian turned away again and shook his head. "It wouldn't. Especially since we know the sexual encounters wouldn't be frequent."

"True." Elim embraced his husband around the upper chest. "But you told me there was more to attraction than sex. Wouldn't there be more to this than sex? Could there be? Would some type of relationship evolve?"

"We’d have to wait and see."

Elim was beginning to feel the start of the whirlwind feeling he had the night before and he wanted some concrete plans to help stabilize him.

"What do we do now? Tomorrow? The next day?"

"Well, I think a couple of things are in order," said Julian, stretching his neck back and rubbing his ear against Elim's cheek. "First, you and Kat need to keep on meeting together, for lunch and other things. You could make them more like _dates_. I can meet with them too."

"And second?"

"Second, I can proceed with my research developing the musk so it can be ready for Kat's next _karakten_."

"Assuming they’d want to use it. Assuming we talk to them and ‘make an offer,’ as it were. And they _accept_. When would we come to them with this anyway?"

Julian sat up and balanced himself on the end of the little sofa. "In about a month. By then we should both be surer if this is something we want to do, and I should have the musk ready. It will need testing later, but the main work would be done."

Elim stood and pulled his spouse into a standing position. "You'll be only a month from your due date then. And won't you have almost stopped working?" 

"Yes, dear, I'm cutting my hours, but they won't be down to zero until about two weeks ahead of time. I won’t be an invalid."

They'd had this conversation before. Julian was implacable on the issue. 

"You _do_ work quickly. _Augment_ speed and all that. So I suppose I shouldn't worry." Elim offered his hand and Julian took it. "Now, why don't we just consider this discussion over for tonight… and go to our bedroom to revel in some _exclusivity_?"

Julian gave him a sly look. "Indeed, I think I could go for some _exclusivity_ right now."


	10. Two Books and Three Robes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome return readers and people just starting!
> 
> Things got pretty busy for me over the weekend, with me being actually SOCIAL, so I didn't get a new chapter out as I'd wanted, but I started one I think this morning and got it finished by bedtime, so now I'm back on track. 
> 
> One important note for this particular chapter is that there are repeated references to ["Altering Course,](http://archiveofourown.org/works/5278406) the DS9 fanfic on which this story is based. (It's kind of my own sequel, because I loved the set-up so much.) You don't have to read that story to get this, but I do recommend it highly. However, just to explain, there is a whole bit in that story about a particular set of courtship rituals used by Cardassians. (SPOILER: There's also reference to the fact that Garak was pretty insecure about the whole thing.) Anyway, so if you see mentions for things in the past and are wondering where those are coming from, that's what it is.
> 
> Other than that... I made up book titles again... Characters are back to eating Cardassian shish-kebob... Elim is totally teasing Julian, but being nice too, so Julian isn't going to kill him... Yeah... other things too :)
> 
> Finally, thanks for any comments! Much appreciated!

"I'm so glad you chose this title," said Katajan, sitting across from Elim's desk in his university office. 

"Glad to hear it," he replied, not looking up as he prepared his lunch. He'd decided to mix things up and for the first time had invited Kat to his work. 

"All right, done." Elim looked up in time to catch the otherworlder eyeing him – before they shifted back to examining their PADD. 

Three days had passed since the assault and this was the first time they'd had lunch or seen each other since Elim briefly checked in on them day after. As he'd predicted, Kat had gone in to work and carried on as usual, although they'd admitted to feeling shaken. Elim would have been willing to stay longer at the library to help his friend in any way they needed, but Kat insisted they were fine and that a university professor had more important work to do.  

But today they were discussing a classic novel, one Elim had recommend two weeks earlier, long before recent developments. 

"So you enjoyed _Atlak and Tilalia_?" he asked, knowing full well that just because Kat said they were glad to have read a book did not mean they had enjoyed it.

Kat held up their PADD. "Oh, yes, extremely interesting. And well written, too. I went into it without looking so much into its context. So if you would give me some background before we begin?"  

Elim was happy to do so. He smoothly summarized the novel's status as a classic coming-of-age story, for many generations presented to young Kardasi as both a literary treasure and an example of how to be an upstanding citizen while serving the state. 

"I thought as much as I was reading it," Kat remarked. "So, if I’m understanding this, while it was not commissioned as propaganda, it was a work which the state could support and endorse?"

Elim nodded. "Yes. At certain points it has in fact been government-issued. But I would argue that this never took away from its literary merit." 

"I agree," said Kat. "And moreover it stands on its own as an excellent coming-of-age tale, which to me was a bonus, as I have actually made a study of coming-of-age novels during my Alpha time."

"Alpha time" was a term Kat had come up with to describe everything that it happened in their life since they were rescued off their home world. 

"As this is the first such novel of this type we've discussed together, I wasn't aware you made a study of them."

Kat set down a fork beside their now empty lunch plate. "I've found them highly instructive – in ways that reading about Alpha Quadrant species in a nonfiction format simply hasn't been."

"How so?" Elim asked. He always enjoyed listening to Kat's outsider perspective, not only on Kardasi but on Klingons, Betazoids, or other species.

"In the coming-of-age novel, and especially reading multiple coming-of-age novels across cultures, I get an idea of what growing up is like for you _one_ -sexed and _always_ sexually active species," Kat explained. 

Being labeled as "one-sexed" felt rather strange to Elim, but again that was his friend's perspective. 

Kat continued. "They've given me a chance to see and understand more of what your puberty and adolescence are like, what they _feel_ like. How _fast_ everything happens, in the case of species with much shorter lifespans than mine. How courtship, pair bonding and marriage _works_ – all the various life stages, however far into someone's life the novel progresses." 

"Ah, so it provides a bit of voyeurism?" Elim teased. 

"What?" Kat sputtered, before seeing from Elim's expression that he was joking. "Oh, not that. No, it just allows me to understand this important narrative of cultures in a way that I couldn't do reading a plain anthropology text. In a way that I wouldn't have a way to normally because I'm not part of any family." 

It was a poignant moment, although Elim couldn't dwell on it. Kat was reading novels to understand better what it was like to grow up and have a family on Kardasia?  

* * *

"I had to coax them into talking about it, I think because they're afraid even a doctor might be titillated," Julian explained one night as they cuddled on the sofa. "But once they got going and saw that my questions were more scientific or maybe more like an anthropologist – or probably most importantly, more like a friend – they opened up."

That afternoon Kat had met with Julian at a café near the hospital. While Elim still talked often about books with his friend, his husband seemed to be getting to know the otherworlder via discussions of biology and child rearing.

"What do you mean, ' _opened up_ '?" Elim prompted. "On what topic?"

Julian snuggled back into his husband's chest and drew Elim's hands onto his rounded stomach. "Well, specifically, they talked to me about what it's like to become female-sexed."

"Mmm. So how does it feel?" When Julian abruptly turned his head to glare, Elim corrected himself. "I mean how does it feel for _them_ , not for you." Now only couple weeks’ shy of eight months pregnant, Julian certainly did not look female. Not really.

"They talked a bit in general terms about being female - their native term for it is of course different - and how more so than some, in _karakten_ their body often seems to go that way." Julian yawned and stretched his neck backwards onto Elim's shoulder. "It's how they explained having had three of the four children – although that's close to an even split if you think about it."

Elim scooted Julian a bit forward and got him in position so he could perform some shoulder massage. "And yet they arrive in this quadrant and everyone assumes they're male."

"Right," Julian sighed. "Not that they prefer one or the other." His husband moaned quietly as Elim began to work his thumbs down the center of his back. "That feels _so_ good. Can’t believe how sore I am."

Elim brought Julian back toward him and nuzzled one of his ears in the side of his cheek. "I believe this experience will greatly improve your care of pregnant women in the future. Don't you agree, doctor?" 

"Mmmmpph," Julian tried to answer, through what was now full on kissing.  

* * *

Three weeks after Elim and Julian had launched their "plans" for Kat, he considered that the endeavor was proceeding splendidly. His own "dates" with Kat had increased up to twice a week and Julian was managing once a week. 

Both had made headway getting to know their friend more personally, now talking not only of books or biology but of family stories, traditions, tales from college. Once a few layers of pain had been worn off, Kat spoke fondly of their clan, even if speaking of their mate or children was too much.

Elim was also now certain Kat was attracted to him; it was absolutely not wishful thinking. And knew his own feelings. 

Elim smiled and admired Kat's long hands as they gestured during discussion of _Going South Reaching North._ This Cardassian novel had been his friend's pick, yet in talking through it, Elim anticipated several excellent openings to discuss topics which might not come up in the course of general conversation. 

"What I found most fascinating out of everything was following the formal stages of Kardasi courtship," Kat was saying. "This book is about as old as I am, right? So is it still accurate?" 

Garak chuckled quietly and his friend's reference to their age. It was still difficult for him to grasp that Kat was over 150. "Oh, yes, the book is quite accurate in its depiction of courtship – initiation and the three phases."

Kat rubbed their temple thoughtfully. "Ah. Garak, if you don't mind my asking, did you and Julian follow these courtship rituals? Or did you follow a less traditional path since he's Human?"

"Oh, we were quite traditional," Elim recalled. "I was extremely nervous, sure I would be turned down in the end, but I did court Julian and both of us followed the rules."

"So would you say your experience with courtship was similar to that here?" Kat asked, tapping at their PADD. 

"Well, every couple has their own particulars, and you know my background and Julian's and that we're different species, so of course our case was a bit special. But yes, the first phase, going out places in public, getting to know one another… and then the second phase, asking one another all the important questions about future, past, family, children, love – that was much the same."

Elim paused, realizing he now had an opportunity to bring up a rather intimate subject, if he so chose. Normally he _wouldn't_ share such a thing, but in this case, considering his and Julian's plans, perhaps opening up would be helpful. And he knew Julian would approve. 

"Our third phase was different than this fictional one, however," he began. "Unlike Braina, or Asat for that matter, I wasn't much looking forward to the sexual element."  

He briefly glanced up to check Kat's eyes for signs of judgment. Despite seeing none, he turned his glance back down.

"I was eager to get to the third phase and through it – so that we could be married," he explained, "but I didn't expect to enjoy it. 

"Dear friend," Kat said suddenly, "what was wrong? Were you injured?"

Now Kat was twisted sideways on the sofa, arms held out slightly, as if they might want to give Elim a hug. On their first meeting, he’d never have thought the otherworlder could be _sweet_ , but they actually were.

"No, Kat, I wasn't injured," he said. "I'd simply had a lot of negative experiences associated with sex... and thus I'd never really enjoyed it. I doubt you can personally relate, but it's difficult to do so when you're afraid you're going to be 'compromised' or put in danger. And can't trust anyone."

Kat fell back against the pile of cushions behind them. "That's awful. So…  you were worried that even with Julian, you couldn't be happy in that way?"

Elim nodded. "But even if I _wasn't_ happy, I was willing to make that sacrifice, to be with him. But, as it turns out, it _was_ different with him. It was pleasurable." 

That was an understatement, but a full description would have to wait for a much, much later date.  

"Although I will tell you, until the moment Julian said ‘yes’ to my formal proposal, some part of me still worried that he would say ‘no.’"

Kat tilted their head in incomprehension. "You thought he would reject you? Why?"

Elim considered. "I don't know. Wasn't very rational. I just felt as if it was all too good to be true, too good a thing to be happening to me. I felt like there had to be so many other people who were more worthy of Julian than I."

Kat pulled themself up straight again and though they did not hug their friend, they did give Elim a pat on the upper arm. "You're a lovely man, Garak. Julian, who is no fool, would've been a fool to have said no to you. As would anyone."

* * *

It was a winter afternoon a few days later as Elim watched Julian waddle about the back garden. If anyone had told him ten years ago that he'd be watching his friend "waddle" under any circumstances, let alone because he was nearly eight months pregnant, Elim would have assumed the person to be under the influence of an interstellar virus. However, in the present moment he found the waddling simply...

" _Don't_ say it," warned Julian, approaching up the gravel path. "I know you're thinking it. I'm _'adorable_. ‘You said it twice this morning and once at lunch and–"

"And it's true, of course," Elim cut in, kissing his husband on the cheek. "Come, let's walk a little bit more."

Julian acquiesced and together they explored the wintertime garden. It wasn't dead and there were still flowers and greenery, but it was a far cry from the place it had been when they had begun their pregnancy adventure. 

"I don't know why you dislike the word _adorable_ ," Elim said, knowing that by saying it again he would get some type of response. 

"Because adorable is for, I don't know, children!" he argued. "And I'm a grown man!"

Elim slipped and arm around Julian's back and squeezed. "You certainly have done a lot of _growing_."

Julian elbowed him in the ribs. "Sometimes I swear the reason you like to speak Standard at home is that it has better puns." 

"You've caught me," he deadpanned, dropping his arm. "Standard _is_ much better for that."  

"Really?" his spouse asked.  

Elim took Julian's hand and squeezed gently. "I can't give you an answer to that question. There must be mystery!" 

At the back of the garden stood a lovely wooden bench, a gift from Julian's parents, made from dark Earth wood. As his husband sat down on it, Elim admired the drape of Julian's new dress. Or " _robe_ ," as the Human kept on insisting. Noticing how uncomfortable his husband looked even wearing specially constructed maternity pants – and somehow knowing he would never speak up – Elim had leapt into action a couple of weeks earlier. Applying his tailoring skills, he'd come up with three comfortable and lovely – if he did say so himself – dresses that Julian could at least wear when he was at home and not working. He had presented the set to Julian the night before, and since coming home from the hospital that afternoon, he had been wearing it. Elim was extraordinarily pleased and apparently it showed.

"You look like the cat that swallowed the canary,” Julian remarked. It was an idiom he'd used before and Elim still did not understand it. "But I don't mind it since I _do_ love this robe. I hadn’t realized just how much pants had been getting to me. No matter how nice, they all eventually start riding up or down on me and rubbing into my tummy." He sketched a line along his lower abdomen and made a face. "This is nice and smooth, doesn't get caught anywhere and will presumably always fit. At least for the next month, which is all I need."

"I'm glad you like it," Elim said, sitting down. "And accept that perhaps pants are not the only garment a man may wear." 

"Oh, yes, Elim, I _certainly_ need a mini lecture about my _narrow_ view of gender roles," Julian laughed.  

"True. Although, _ss'aavi_ , it just occurred to me who else who doesn't like pants." 

"Who's that?" Julian questioned. 

"Kat." He thought back to the first time he'd seen the otherworlder in a _jekat_. It suited them. "They only wear them because their work requires them to. They'd probably be fine wearing a dress, or a _robe_ as you put it."

Julian sighed in agreement. "Probably. And look good in it, just as they do in everything, I've noticed." He patted Elim's lap. "Don't you agree?" 

"I do. And speaking of which, I was wondering, dear, when we were going to actually _tell_ them." There wasn't that much time left. Elim had been hoping for an opening to bring it up. 

"Well, you're set to meet the day after tomorrow, aren’t you? How about a couple days after that, you or I can invite them over to the hospital," he proposed. "We’ll have to come up with some type of excuse, but I think both of us are good with subterfuge."

"To be sure," Elim agreed. 

There was a pause in the conversation then, during which a few of the sounds from the neighborhood filtered through – like a bird sitting on a nearby wall, the high voices of children, a delivery transport. 

"Something I wanted to ask you, _ss'aavi_. About this thing with Kat," Julian said quietly.  

"Go on," Elim urged gently. 

"Well, it's a little funny to ask _now_..." he began, hesitation in his voice, "but it only occurred to me a couple of days ago that in pursuing them like this, with the end goal we have in mind, we've completely skipped the traditional Kardasi courtship model."

"True," Elim readily agreed. "And?"

Julian raised his eyebrows. "And... aren't those rules… _important_? Are we using some _other_ set of rules? I mean, there doesn’t need to be a rule book as far as I'm concerned, but I was just wondering, in the context of Kardasia. Why we used the rules for us and now we’re not using any rules here." 

Now Elim saw what his husband was asking. "Ah. No, none of those rules apply. We are not going to be _marrying_ Kat. We’re pursuing something else. Whatever it is, it’s certainly not traditional and would fall more under the umbrella of casual sex about which we do not speak. So... it's _fine_ as is. I can just pretend I'm a Human."

Julian snorted. "You can't. You wouldn't. _Ever_." 

* * *

For their next meeting, Elim and Kat once again had _bak'rivar_. Through repeated exposure, the owner was by now perfectly pleasant with Kat. He always showed them to the best available table. As they waited on their order, Elim described Julian's wardrobe additions. 

"That was very considerate of you," Kat enthused. "Because really I could _not_ imagine wearing _pants_ with a baby on the way. I always wore variations on the _jekat_ – just needed more fabric than the usual, of course."

Elim tried to picture his friend pregnant and got some of the image, but only the clothes, not really the shape. Kat was so thin, it was hard to imagine it. 

"Julian mentioned to me that Arakajane don't breastfeed," he said. "So it's just your bellies that show you're pregnant?"

Kat smirked. "Well, that depends what you mean by ‘ _show_.’ No, there's no breast-feeding, but when you're pregnant you retain fully female form for the entire term, which is a full year." 

"A _year_?"

"Yes," Kat replied, after a sip of water. "That's why we don't need to breast-feed. Babies are born with teeth."

"Oh. That does make sense." He decided to return to the earlier point. "And you remain female for the entire year?"

"Yes, you must, in order to sustain the pregnancy."

Normally he wasn't the one to be asking the biology questions. That was Julian. However, in this area, Elim found himself curious. "And so you're essentially in _karakten_  during that whole time. Do you, and I mean _Arakajane_... who are pregnant–"

" _Have ‘sex’_?" Kat finished for him.

Elim could hardly believe he'd asked such a question. "I apologize if I’ve offended you. I don't know what I was thinking."

"It's fine, Elim," they assured. "And the answer is yes. When you’re pregnant, sexual activity happens a lot. Actually the most it _ever_ happens. You're encouraged to go to the _karakten_ houses and make yourself available. It means there are more options to choose from for those coming in, after all. It's perfectly all right, at least during the first half of pregnancy. After that you wouldn't want to do it anymore. I didn't anyway."

Elim employed his best poker face so he wouldn’t look as shocked as he felt. "You're telling me that when you were pregnant you went out and had sex with strangers?"

Kat narrowed their eyes. "Strangers? No, not at all. My clan was very large and so was our _karakten_ house. Everything was ordered and catalogued very nicely. Everyone was identified and you would know if you were related to someone or not, how closely, and so on. They were always visitors but they were accounted for too. And this wasn't anything anonymous, after all. Once something was initiated... you'd end up together for some time."

"I see." That was a lot to digest. "This does lead me to a question, Kat. When is your next cycle, do you think?"

Just then the waiter arrived and set down their plates. Kat waited until the man was gone before answering. "I don't have an exact date, but they’ve  been coming about every five or six months, so I expect the next one will be sometime after the baby’s born, maybe a month after, could be a little sooner, I'm not sure."

Just as he and Julian had estimated. Now it only remained to see if they had gotten ahead of themselves in their planning. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> P.S. Once this story is finished, I have a new Garashir fic on the way. It's all outlined, ready to go. That one will be set aboard DS9. It'll be titled "Exile for Two" and should probably appear by the middle of October.


	11. Surprises

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This isn't my usual time of day to be posting a chapter, but I started working on this late last night and finished up this morning, so here it is. Hope you like it! I enjoyed writing it, that I can tell you.

"So you say Julian has a surprise for me?" Katajan asked as they entered the hospital. Elim counted this as the fourth time they'd asked this question.

"Yes, Kat. Don't worry. It's not a surprise medical exam." He walked towards the lift that would take them to Julian's private office.

The day had come to let Kat in on their plan, and so far things were going well; Kat had at least agreed to come to the hospital. Julian had suggested they keep the subterfuge to a minimum after all, reasoning that mention of a medical exam of any kind would put Kat off, but that a "surprise," presented with friendly assurances from Elim, would be well received.

Kat had never visited this hospital and now, as they walked down the hall towards Julian's office, Elim could see them examining the message boards, room labels, pieces of equipment glimpsed through doorways.

"I do wish Julian could've presented me with his 'surprise' somewhere else," Kat complained. "If I never see another hospital, it will be too soon. Just reminds me of–" They cut themself off but Elim understood: too many months in Federation medical care.

Julian's office door was open, so they walked right in. The doctor was seated as his desk studying something on the monitor.

"Ah, here you are!" Julian greeted them happily. "I'd get up, but as you know, it's easier if I don't. Have a seat."

As they settled into the chairs in front of Julian's desk, Elim could see Kat looking around, possibly to see if there was any large "surprise" evident.

"So I finally get to see you at your work," Kat said. "And Elim assures me I am not here for any type of medical exam or procedure or test?"

"That's right," Julian affirmed. "Although I _will_ be honest now and tell you that the reason I asked you here, and that Elim brought you here, is _medical_ in nature."

 _That was carefully worded_ , thought Elim, as he watched Kat tense up.

"What is it?" the otherworlder asked in a small voice. "You tricked me into coming here? Why?"

Elim decided to speak up. "It's nothing bad, Kat. It's something Julian and I started talking about several weeks ago, and now we're ready to share it with you."

Kat looked to their friend beside them, then over to Julian behind his desk and back again. "You've prepared some sort of _surprise_ present for me that's _medical_ in nature?" they inquired slowly.

Julian nodded. "I will bring the suspense to an end. Here's what I've done. And remember: Since the moment I helped you out during your  _karakten_ , I became your doctor, and this is in the spirit of that – and in the spirit of friendship."

He then laid out the idea behind the synthetic _karakten_ musk. How they had thought of it – without yet mentioning their possible participation in its first use – and the steps Julian had gone through in order to research and produce it. Everything was now ready for actual production, so except for needing a few tests, which could be done against samples of Kat's blood, the musk was now available.

Throughout all this, Kat sat in stunned silence. At first they stared at Julian, but then they looked away, towards the wall. By the end of the doctor's presentation, they were looking down at their hands, which were clenched together.

When Julian had finished, the room was quiet. Elim didn't quite know what to say and so he looked towards his husband, who motioned for him to give Kat some time.

Finally, Kat spoke, not looking up. "You did this for me? I can't believe... you _did_ this for me." They gulped and put their hands over their face. "I... I don't know what to say."

After that Kat actually began to speak in Arakajane, through tears. It was obviously the continuation of a disbelieving thank you. Julian looked across the desk to Elim. _What now?  
_

But before either of them could say anything, Kat suddenly stopped talking and looked startled. Then, crestfallen. Their hands dropped from their face.

Their tone now anguished, they addressed Julian. "So you've done this for me. You've created this drug that someone could put on themselves when I'm in phase and then, as I've heard it put in Standard, 'problem solved.' Only it's not. _Not at all._ "

Ah. Kat had come to the same realization they had. But they probably were not going to make the next leap.

Elim looked to Julian with a questioning look. Should he take over? Julian gave a slight nod.

"My dear Kat," he began, turning sideways in his seat, "Julian and I came to the same conclusion you just did. And so at first Julian begin research despite not knowing how you would arrange to actually use the drug with someone. Where that someone would come from."

He took a calming breath and then, making sure to maintain eye contact, came to the thing that was most important. "But then we realized something, Kat."

"What's that?" Kat sniffled.

How Elim wanted to give his friend a hug then, but instead he had to speak.

"We began to realize – and I should say that Julian realized it first – that you were attracted to us. And that we were attracted to _you_." Kat had stopped crying and also possibly stopped breathing. "So starting a month ago, we both started trying to get to know you even better, because we'd like to ask you if you would have us as your next _karakten_ partners."

Kat was now trembling. When they began to gasp, Julian got out from behind his desk and carefully put his arms around their shoulders. Elim took to his knees on the floor in front of them.

"I can't believe... I can't believe... I can't..." Kat repeated, in between gasps.

Julian rubbed their shoulders soothingly. "Breathe, Kat. Breathe."

"In through your nose, out through your mouth," Elim added softly.

Kat did is they were told, then nodded twice and looked back and forth between their two friends. "I... I am... I mean, you're not wrong my being attracted. Especially not you, Elim. I was thinking about you even before _karakten_ , but afterward, I just couldn't stop. And, Julian, I thought of you too, and then when you started to meet with me every week, well, that grew." They laughed weakly. "But I never, _ever_ thought anything would or could come of it!"

"Well, we _are_ offering," Julian reminded. "Though actually you haven't said whether or not you're interested, technically."

Kat rolled their gaze up toward the ceiling. "Well, in truth, I do have several questions about this, but if you're offering, surely you'll have answers to all my questions, so I think I will accept your offer."

"Thank you, Kat," Julian said. 

Elim smiled up at his friend. "Surprised?"

"Very."

* * *

Further discussion was, of course, required, and so over the next couple of days they met up several times. The first time, Julian and Elim invited Kat over for a private dinner at the house, just the three of them. Kat had several concerns, including upending their traditional marriage, and that the entire proposal might be based on pity. However, they seemed to be able to talk through everything, and their friend seemed to accept that their offer was genuine and sincere. On another evening, Kat had them over their apartment, and here they described in more detail exactly what occurred during _karakten_ , so their partners would be prepared what to expect.

As for the medical aspect, blood tests and analysis showed that the musk Julian had developed had a very high likelihood of being effective. Actually there were two versions of the musk. One was, for lack of a better description, a female version, which would induce Kat to become male, while the other was a male version, which would turn Kat female. In natural _karakten_ , within their own species, the roles were determined by a complex hormonal interplay and partners never knew which role they would take in advance, but in this case, things would have to be less spontaneous.

After this, knowing Julian had cut his work hours nearly to zero and that Elim disliked spending any more time away from his spouse than necessary, Kat began to visit the house. Every time they they did so, they brought small gifts – homemade sweets, a colorful scarf, volumes of poetry. They never said so explicitly, but Elim could easily guess these constituted courting gifts of a sort.

Kat also brought pregnancy advice, as well as recollections of their own struggles. With their first child, they'd been intensely nervous. No matter that their spouse Iki, their parents, the supervising healer and everyone else assured them everything was fine – they were convinced, through dreams, through twinges in their gut, through a lingering feeling of unease – that something would go wrong. Nothing ever did.

* * *

"ELIM!"

He was jolted out of sleep. Years with the Order and a natural wariness meant Elim never woke up groggy.

Julian was shaking him by the shoulder. "We have to go. We have to go _now_!"

He bolted to a sitting position and turned to his husband, who had a communicator in one hand, while the other clutched his stomach. A tricorder lay atop the covers.

"What's happened?" Elim asked, with all the clipped urgency of wartime.

"No time," Julian gasped. "Fetal distress. Emergency transport in a few seconds."

"Ready to transport you and your husband directly to the surgical unit," a voice on the comm announced.

"Acknowledged." With a shaky smile, he met Elim's eyes. "I guess we're about to meet our baby."

* * *

After that everything was a whirlwind. Elim wasn't even put in surgical scrubs as Julian was placed on the table, where a surgeon was ready to operate. Another doctor, there to observe, quietly conveyed to Elim what was going on. Julian's own tricorder scan, performed after he'd awoken with a feeling something wasn't right, had shown an entanglement of the umbilical cord. It wasn't completely knotted, but the periodic distress and danger meant an immediate cesarean section was called for. They had already planned for just such a delivery, but to be awoken to it from a dead sleep, two weeks before the due date, was a shock. Elim did his best to hold it together, for Julian's sake.

For his part, Julian had his eyes closed and was taking deep, calming breaths. Noticing the beads of sweat on his forehead, Elim grabbed a small towel and approached.

" _Ss'aavi_ , I'm going to wipe your face," he said.

Julian arched into the press of the cloth. "Thank you. And I'm sorry. So sorry–"

Elim replaced the cloth with his hand, stroking his husband’s cheek. "Shh. You have nothing to be sorry about, my dear." He leaned over and kissed him.

"Here she comes!" announced the surgeon, and what Elim saw when he straightened up made him briefly feel faint. It wasn't the blood, but the tiny, wailing infant beneath the blood, in the surgeon's hands. Their daughter. He and Julian had _made_ this. _A miracle_.

Julian couldn't see, he realized, so as soon as the baby had a quick wipe down and was wrapped in a blanket, Elim had the nurse hand her over. By the time he'd turned to show her to Julian, tears were beginning to stream down his face.

"Oh, Elim," Julian breathed, reaching up a hand. "I... She's so... Oh, _Elim_." He extended one finger and ever so carefully touched one of the tiny girl's hands. Right away she opened it and grabbed on to his fingertip.

Elim wiped at his eyes. The face of his little daughter was beautiful. It warmed him like the sun. She had fully formed Kardasi facial ridges and dark brown eyes. He wondered if they would later lighten into hazel.

For the next couple of minutes, as the medical team put Julian's insides back together and closed him up, they stared in wonder, stroking the baby's cheeks, examining her hands and toes, marveling at her fine, soft hair. No words were spoken; none were needed.

Finally, however, Elim, had a question. "So, are you sure about the name? I mean, is it all right with you?"

" _Ss'aavi_ , of _course_ it's all right. It's lovely. There's no better choice. How many times can I tell you? _Mila_ is the perfect name."

"Well then," Elim said, hugging the baby gently to his chest, "Welcome to Kardasia, Mila."


	12. Small Blessings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I definitely didn't expect to be posting a second chapter today, but when I got home, it seemed to me that this one was fairly straighforward, so I got it done. I think maybe it takes less time if there's less angst? Meanwhile, don't worry, more fun, and less baby, stuff is coming up soon, I promise.

Although there was no reason to keep either Julian or Mila in the hospital for an extended stay, the doctors did want to keep them for a few hours’ observation. So until mid-afternoon, when they at last had the all clear, Elim managed a stream of visitors to the hospital room. 

He put priority on family, ushering Inda and the children in as soon as Julian had gotten off subspace from talking with his parents. Mr. and Mrs. Bashir were talking about visiting, although not right away, maybe in three months.

When Inda laid eyes on the baby, she broke into happy tears and regaled them with all manner of Kardasi good wishes. The younger children were interested in Mila but cautious, having little or no experience with infants. Julian, however, patiently coaxed them into coming closer and then let each of them hold the baby in turn. Mila didn't really seem comfortable with any of them, or with Inda, but that really wasn't surprising, thought Elim. It _was_ just her first day.

A few at a time, Julian's colleagues from the hospital stopped by. His closest friend, Peldar, arrived both delighted and flustered. Apparently she had planned to present the couple with a set of neatly prepared meals on the day of the birth, but none of them were ready now. Julian laughed and said it was fine, not to worry, and thanked her for the thought. Various nurses, doctors, and staff also came by. 

Eventually both Julian and the baby grew tired. When a message came in from the Kardasi  ambassador to the Federation, Elim took it and explained that it would be better if she called the next day. She seemed satisfied with this and graciously ended the communication. A message from the Federation did not at all presume that Julian would be available, but simply offered congratulations and promised to catch up with him later, when he was more fully recovered. 

By the time Julian finally nodded off, Elim was sitting in the chair next to the bed holding a sleeping Mila. She smiled in repose, tiny hands curled around the edge of her blanket. Elim reverently traced the ridge that ran down the center of her nose. She wrinkled it in response but did not wake. He felt like the luckiest man on Kardasia.

* * *

After a family dinner that had been arranged so Julian could lie on the sofa with Mila, Elim decided a quiet evening ensconced in their bedroom would be ideal. 

"It feels so _strange_ to be thin again," Julian marveled, running a hand up his abdomen. "I mean, it’s nice, but don't think I'll ever think of myself the same way again, knowing my body can _do_ that." 

Elim, with a half eye on his husband, the other half on the baby, nodded. "I thought you looked beautiful." 

"Thank you, dear." He held out his arms. "Can I have her back?" Elim obliged and Julian settled the girl against his chest. "Do you think she'll need to eat soon?" 

"No, she seems to be content, no fussing," Elim responded, acting as though he wasn't making everything up as he went along. "Just let her be. When she wants it, we have it ready."

They were feeding her with high-grade replicated breastmilk, mixed in with biological cultures from both of them, for all the benefit of real breastmilk. Although he could have achieved functioning, lactating breasts, Julian had decided that was a bit too far outside his comfort zone. And since this would work equally well, as a doctor he was happy with the option. 

"Inda and the kids seem very enthusiastic about helping," Julian remarked. "I don't know how that will translate into _reality_ , but it's encouraging. Although I know Inda will actually help." 

"Of course she will, dear. She's the most responsible young woman I know." She had, after all, raised her three younger siblings herself after their parents were killed in the war. She'd been only sixteen. "And if I know her," he continued, "she’ll make sure Dyrum, Hasleny, and Azoon put in their share of babysitting and whatever else you might need."

Julian now had one of Mila's hands in his and was examining it closely. "It amazes me, Elim. I'm a doctor, a scientist, I _know_ how it works... then I just look at this and it seems unbelievable. All these little _details_ , the wrinkles on her fingers, the fingernails, the individual skin cells. How they were formed from the DNA and from cells dividing... dividing inside of _me_."

Elim had to smile at his spouse. He was correct – it _was_ unbelievable and something to be amazed by – and somehow seeing the scientist so removed from objectivity was endearing. 

"I was thinking, dear, do you know who I think would be very happy to help us out?" Elim began, wanting to bring up a thought that had occurred while Julian slept at the hospital. "Kat. They would love it, I think." 

"Sounds like a wonderful idea," Julian agreed. "Actually I managed to get a message to them earlier, while you were bringing over the bassinet and making up the milk. I'm so all over the place I forgot to tell you. They're coming over in the morning. Taking time off work even." 

"Perfect, then." To be taking off work, Kat must truly be eager to see them. "We'll ask them then."

* * *

They were just finishing breakfast in the kitchen when they heard the visitor chime.

"Azoon," Julian asked, motioning for the boy to hand the baby back, "could you go get that? It's probably Kat." He gently accepted Mila into his arms. "Thank you. I think you'll be very good with her."

Elim watched him leave. "Have they agreed on what they want to call her? Is it going to be a ‘sister’ or ‘cousin’ or something else?"

" _Cousin_ , I think." Julian had a bite of scone one-handed and attempted not to get crumbs on the baby. "‘Sister’ is too confusing, and while ‘cousin’ isn't exactly accurate, it gets the idea across."

Just then Azoon burst into the room. "Here, look! Just like I said. She's so little!" 

Elim stood and went to Kat, who stood awkwardly at the doorway. To Azoon he said, "Thank you, dear. But do be mindful not to be so loud around the baby."

Once the boy slipped out, Elim took Kat by the hand and drew them inside. "I'm so glad you came. Yesterday was hectic and we had a lot of visitors at the hospital. It's so nice you’ve come at a quieter moment."

Kat didn't respond. Instead they simply stood there taking in the sight of Julian and Mila at the table. Elim stepped forward, pulled out a chair, then ushered his friend to sit down.

Finally, Kat spoke. "Azoon was correct. She _is_ very small. I've never seen a Kardasi or Human baby close up." 

Elim took a seat and examined Kat's face. Their eyes were bright with tears. He looked over to Julian who inclined his head slightly; he saw the same thing. 

"Well, if you like, you can hold her," Julian offered. "It's what everyone else has been doing, even Azoon. At first she only seemed to like Elim and I doing it, but this morning a couple of the children were holding her and she didn't fuss." 

"Hold her?" Kat asked, sounding startled. "You would let me do that?" 

"Of course, Kat," Elim told them. "You're a friend. And it's not like you don't know how to handle children." 

At this Kat suddenly thrust onto the table a small package they'd been holding. Hands now free, they clamped them over the lower half of their face and began to cry.

Julian made a move to comfort them, then stopped, as he realized he couldn't really do it while holding the baby. So Elim reached out with one arm and patted his friend's back soothingly. 

"I'm sorry, Kat, if this is too much for you. I know it's hard for you to talk about your children." They'd often skirted around them, making mentions in passing, but they could never bring themselves to tell stories about the children, happy memories, tales of mischief, anything.

Wiping their eyes and face impatiently, Kat sighed. "No, it's all right. It just hit me all of a sudden. And it's probably good that I deal with it. I do love babies."

Elim caught one of his friend's hands and squeezed. "So you would like to hold Mila then?" 

Kat nodded and moments later Julian was settling her into their arms. The otherworlder held her tenderly, then murmured something to her in their native language. It sounded like a complement.

"What was that, Kat?"

They looked up from the baby's face – funny how hard it was to look away – and smiled. "I just told her what a beautiful child she is, then what a blessing she is to you and this world. It's a bit of a traditional saying."

Elim nodded. He realized then that spending time with Mila might be quite therapeutic for his friend.

"What's this, by the way?" asked Julian, holding up the package Kat had put on the table. 

"Oh, yes, it's a birthday gift," they explained. "I had it mostly ready and was going to finish it up in the next couple of weeks. When I got your message last night, I made sure to finish it by this morning. Stayed up late."

Elim examined the still unopened package with more interest. "Are you saying you made something?"

"Yes, I did." They were now rocking Mila slowly back and forth. Her eyes were sliding shut. "Open it. It's for both of you."

Since Julian was already holding it, he did the honors. From a gift box he pulled out what at first appeared to be a shapeless mass of woven white and gold cloth, but on closer examination was–

"–a baby sling!" Julian exclaimed. "How wonderful. And you made it. It's just like those tapestries on your wall. And in those colors you like so much."

Elim reached out and touched it. The sling was far softer than the materials Kat had used on any of their household items or the belts they wore. They had obviously gone and bought materials that would be appropriately comfortable for both baby and whoever was carrying her. 

"It's a beautiful gift," Elim said sincerely. "We'll be sure to use it."

"Yes, thank you," Julian echoed. He was now actually wearing the sling. It looked like it would be a good fit, even without any adjustment. "Oh, this will be perfect. And if anyone asks me where I got it, I'll tell them it's a Katajan original."

After that they talked of the same sorts of things they’d talked about with everyone else – Mila's eyes, her facial ridges, how they were going to feed her, where her name had come from. After fifteen minutes, the tiny girl had dropped off completely. Elim was thinking his husband also look tired, but before ushering him to bed, he wanted to make sure they brought up the babysitting.

"Julian and I wanted to ask you something," he said. "A bit of a favor actually"

"Yes? You know I'm happy to help you out. And anything for the baby obviously." 

Julian reached out and gently ran his fingers down Mila's blanket. "And that's exactly what we were going to ask you about. You see, our family here will be helping us, with babysitting and so on, but we were thinking maybe you might also be interested."

"Me?" They looked down at the child in their arms. "Well, I'd love to, though I didn't expect you to ask me. Sure. I mostly would have time in the evening but on my off days I could help too. Maybe that way you could get out of the house?"

"I see you think like a parent," Elim observed. "Yes, we’d love to have your help. And not only would you be helping, but it would mean we’d see more of you, which as you know, we wanted to anyway."

Kat gave Elim and Julian and intense look. "Oh, yes. Believe me, I haven't forgotten." 


	13. Anticipation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, friends, we are finally getting to the "getting together" part of this fic :)
> 
> But it doesn't happen -quite- yet, so if you for some reason are the type that skips smut, you are SAFE, this part is smut free. There's some naked and a tiny amount of anticipatory action (see title!) but that's it. 
> 
> That all said, I'm pleased with how this came out, and think it's a good lead up. Also, hey, I made the (end of a) folk tale! 
> 
> Wendy
> 
> P.S. Thanks as always to commenters and kudo people!

“So do you think Azoon has driven Kat up the wall yet?” Julian asked, as they pulled up to the house.

 _Driven up the wall._ Another interesting Standard idiom. “No, I’m sure not. Kat’s rather patient, and Azoon seems very fond of them.”

Elim put the car into park, now that they were in the garage. He and Julian had spent a pleasant few hours together, visiting the city art museum, then enjoying an unhurried lunch at one of their favorite restaurants. Kat meanwhile had been looking after both Azoon and Mila. 

“In fact, I think Kat will be quite good for him. Azoon barely remembers his own parents, and any undivided attention he can get from an adult is all to the good."

Julian looked thoughtful as came around to the door connecting garage to house. “I hadn’t thought of it, but it’s true. I suppose the entire extended family living situation has stood the test of time for a reason. All that family around to help one another."

Elim followed his husband inside but kept his thoughts to himself. Neither he nor Julian had grown up in such a household, he because Tain could acknowledge neither son nor the mother of his child, Julian because his parents had broken all family ties following his genetic enhancement. Outside of Julian’s parents, they were effectively having to make their family from scratch.

Once inside the house, they headed straight for the stairs. Somehow they both knew exactly where Kat would be with the children. As they reached the landing, Elim put a finger over his lips. They could hear Kat’s voice coming from the library.

"And they went up and up, higher and higher, and round and round, until finally they were at the very top of the mountain."

He and Julian stood with their backs against the wall outside the library door, listening to what Elim guessed was an Arakajane children's story.

"Aka could see everything they ever wanted to see – all the towns and cities, all the plains, all the other mountains down below. And they were happy and content with all this for a while... until the sun started to go down. Then they started to realize they would be cold. And they had no food. They were tired, too. The mountain path would be very dangerous to climb down in the dark. This had been a very foolish choice! They sat down on a rock and worried about what would happen to them." 

At this point Elim drew Julian into the room, but quietly, and was relieved to see Kat and Azoon were facing away from the door. They could continue to listen in on Kat's melodious voice. 

"But just then, as the sun set across the valley, they heard the sound of wings and then a thump. A great _setka_ had landed on the ground beside them. The beast bowed down in invitation and Aka immediately got off the rock and mounted the the _setka_ ’s back. The legends about _setkas_ coming to save you in the wilderness were true! So away they went."

Either Elim or Julian must have made some small noise, for at that point Kat glanced over their shoulder. After a quick smile, they turned back to Azoon and finished the story. "But of course I should explain to you that that _setkas_ can fly, so Aka and the _setka_ flew from the top of the mountain all the way to the bottom, all the way down to Aka's house, and they were home in time for supper. Their parents didn’t even know they were gone!"

Story over, Kat now rose from their chair, wearing Mila in the baby sling they'd made themself, and turned in greeting. "How much if that did you hear?"

"Enough to learn you're an excellent storyteller," Elim responded. "What do you think, Azoon?" 

As expected, the boy was enthusiastic. "I thought I was too old for stories," said the nine-year-old, "but Kat says they're telling them for Mila, so I said that I'd listen to baby stories. And they're actually pretty interesting. There are creatures in them I've never heard of, like in this one, the... what was it, Kat?"

While Azoon was talking, Kat had handed Mila over to Elim. They answered while straightening their clothes. " _Setka_. A legendary flying creature. To explain it to a Kardasi, I'd say they _setkas_ were like winged riding hounds, only black-skinned like me and lighter than air. Very graceful."

"Are there more stories about them?" Azoon asked. 

"Many indeed," Kat replied, "and I'll probably end up telling all of them if I keep being called in for babysitting. Which is fine, as I enjoy both the babysitting and the storytelling."

Elim turned to Azoon, remembering a conversation they'd had over breakfast. "Now, didn't you tell me you needed help on some homework? I believe Mila here needs her nap, so come to the nursery with me, then I'll come help you with your work." 

But just as Elim was reaching the door, Julian softly called his name and motioned with his hand. He was standing over in a corner with Kat. "Just a moment," Elim told Azoon. 

Approaching, he saw Julian was wearing a tight-lipped grin. 

"Well, what is it?" he asked. 

"It's fine if you put Mila down for a nap," Julian whispered, "but after that, could you _skip_ the homework help?" Before Elim could open his mouth to ask why, Julian overrode him. "Kat has an issue." He cocked his head their friend's way. "An _issue_ , if you take my meaning. And they'd like to go over it with us."

"I... _see_." Elim murmured. "Well, in that case, I suppose I can let Azoon muddle through his homework, or we’ll catch up on it later. I'll meet you back here in fifteen minutes?"

"Sounds good." 

With this, Julian gestured to Kat to sit down again. They looked nervous. 

Feeling nervous himself, Elim left the room knowing that whatever happened next was likely to be a first for all of them.  

* * *

When Elim was finished with the baby – and what a distracted fifteen minutes that had been – he returned to the library to find Kat in the loveseat, Julian in one of two chairs that had been pulled up. Elim took the remaining chair.

They all looked at one another but through a half minute, none of them spoke. Elim cleared his throat to say something, but then he wasn't sure where to start. Julian looked to be having a similar problem. 

Kat broke the silence. "Well, Elim, have you guessed what my _issue_ is?"

He chuckled. "I think so. Julian dear, are you prepared to help clear up this problem?"

"I am," his husband replied. "I have a full stock of materials in the refrigerator."

"Oh, you already have it here?" Kat questioned. "I thought you'd have to go back to the hospital."

"No, I was fairly sure with the timing that I'd still be home from work when this happened, and I didn't want to have to go back over there." And here he winked at Kat. "I knew when we needed it, we'd want it right away."  

"How convenient. Although I could've waited. I've waited years, after all."

Elim had the distinct sense that Kat was trying to _look_ patient and _be_ patient but really wasn't at all. He himself wasn't feeling very patient himself. Lately he'd been having some very interesting dreams about his friend. 

"So, then, if there is no delay, then can we agree to get started?" he asked. "As we talked about?"

What they had talked about, during a discussion at Kat's apartment, was Julian exposing Kat to the musk – male or female version, their preference – to get them started. This could be done clinically or, if Kat preferred, Julian and Elim would be willing to apply it to their bodies in the way that corresponded more closely to nature. After that, it would take at least half a day before Kat became capable of any true sexual arousal and most of a full day before they were capable of sex. The more time they spent in the presence of the musk, either clinically or just with Julian and Elim, the faster the transition.  

"I'm ready," Kat declared. "And willing." 

* * *

Since it was still only mid-afternoon and Elim and Julian were unlikely to manage interrupted time until evening, demands of family being what they were, Kat chose the clinical option. However, they also asked if his friends could assist them with the initial "exposure," and so now all three were in the master bedroom.

"Maybe it won't work," they said, "but I was hoping we could make this part romantic, even if it is coming from a laboratory." 

They were lying on the bed, propped up on the pillows, wearing a dark orange _jekat_.  

"Well, I don't have a problem finding something from a test tube romantic," Julian said, sitting at a dressing table taking out the vials.

"Hmmph. You're a scientist and I wouldn't judge your taste to be usual," Elim teased. "Personally, I'm going to ignore the entire 'test tube' situation and focus on the fact that Kat here is beautiful. And I know I haven't said so to your face, Kat, but I thought that from the first day I met you."

Kat's eyes widened. "Really? I didn't guess all. Of course I was hiding under four or five different façades, so it might've been difficult." 

Elim set down at the end of the bed. "True. Julian, is it almost ready?" When his husband nodded, he turned back to Kat. "So, it's up to you to decide. What role you'd like to take. Julian has made up both."

Kat sat up straighter against the pillows and pulled their legs up. "What would you two prefer?"

"It's not about what _we_ want," Elim said – at exactly the same time as Julian. They both chuckled. "It's really not," Elim repeated. "Whatever _you_ prefer."

Kat nodded minutely. Then, after only a couple of seconds, they gave their answer: "I'd like to take the female aspect. I know I could engage with you if I took the male, but the other feels right tonight. And I always did fall that way more often."

"I'll have it ready in a minute then," Julian said, making up a small tray of supplies. 

Elim admired Kat, who really was quite fetching in their _jekat_. "Julian, I'm wondering… does Kat need to get undressed or anything?"

Now finished with preparations, Julian walked over to the other side of the bed and sat down next to Kat. "Well, not too much is covered now, but it would probably be easier if you did, Kat. And I know you said that some places on your body are more receptive than others."

Kat was already fingering the hem of the _jekat_. "Yes. The hands and face are important receptors, there are several others." They pulled up the hem and revealed a long, dark thigh. "So shall I?"

"No, let me do it for you," Elim offered, with a wicked grin.  

* * *

It was a strain carrying on for the next several hours afterward as if it were an ordinary day. However, as they weren't about to tell Inda and the children what was going on, or even that Kat was still in the house, Elim and Julian had to manage it. 

They'd spent about twenty minutes preparing Kat. Without quite planning to, they'd turned the musk application process into something one might see in a spa – a combination massage and oil treatment. 

Following Kat's instructions, they'd applied drops of the musk on their neck behind their ears, all over their throat, on their palms and fingers, their forearms, armpits, chest and lower back. 

This had been enjoyable and rewarding, for all involved. However, Elim privately admitted that for him the most interesting part had come when Kat instructed them to apply the musk between their legs.

"I'm sure direct application would be most efficacious," they'd said. Julian was pleased with the use of the word "efficacious," which Kat had supplied in Standard, and had also agreed with the suggestion.

And so Kat had leaned back and spread their legs wide. 

Elim found himself thinking about it later, over dinner. He'd been surprised by what he saw, despite the fact that Kat had described it in advance. Somehow, despite everything, he hadn’t really expected anything beyond a blank space, plus orifices for waste. Arakajane sexual organs – _pre-sexual_ organs? – were actually quite refined. They were the merest sketch of what they could become, would become, but it was a lovely sketch. Neither female nor male part could function, nor was there, Kat reported, any sexual sensation at all, but aesthetically it was appealing arrangement. To Elim's gardening mind, it was as a tiny bud is to a flower. 

Kat had told them they'd be fine spending the next few hours alone, reading and dozing in the bedroom. Once things began to change, they said, it sometimes became difficult to sleep, and since it had been so long, they thought a long nap might be a good idea. And indeed, Julian checked on them four times and three times found them sleeping, and one time found them awake and asking for water, which he brought. Then Kat said thanks and presumably went to sleep again. 

Finally, it was after dark and the children and Inda were occupied with their own activities. Mila had grown fussy after her nap had worn off, but some patient feeding and rocking seem to have put her right. Her room was directly next to theirs and they had a sound monitor, so before they rejoined Kat, they settled her in the crib. Then they bid Inda and early good night and asked that they not be disturbed. 

When they entered the room, Kat was awake. The atmosphere had changed.

"It's working," they moaned. Seated cross-legged in the middle of the bed, they were fingering the edges of their breastplate over and over. 

Wordlessly, Elim approached and sat down on one side. "What does it feel like?" he asked softly.

Kat swallowed, then moistened their lips with their tongue. "Like it always did. The same. But it feels so much _more_ because it's been so long. It feels like my first time."

Elim felt a thrill run through him at the thought that his friend was going to be so receptive to pleasure. He looked across the bed at Julian and he saw from his eyes that they shared the sentiment.

"Can we do anything yet?" Julian asked, voicing what would have been Elim's next question. 

Kat languorously drew themselves out of their seated position and back so their head and shoulders were against the pillows. "Oh, I think so. It's still very early, but a little stimulation couldn't hurt. Actually I don't think anything could hurt me right now, so let's do it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning/Teaser: The next chapter is going to be smut. The rating will change.


	14. Together-Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, we finally get to it!
> 
> A couple of notes:
> 
> 1) First, a warning, in case it wasn't obvious from the closing of the last chapter, plus the rating and tag update: This chapter is SEXUALLY EXPLICIT. So if that's not your thing, skip this chapter. And you can pick it the story in Ch. 15 and things will be "clean" again. 
> 
> 2) All Kardasi anatomy based on [tinsnip](http://archiveofourown.org/users/tinsnip/pseuds/tinsnip)'s highly influential, and f'in awesome [Speculative Cardassian Reproductive Xenobiology](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1719479?view_adult=true).

Indeed, a "little stimulation" didn't hurt Katajan. Quite the opposite. And it wasn't bad for Julian and Elim either. 

"I've wanted to do this for some time," Elim purred, sidling up and removing his tunic with as much finesse as he could manage. "May I?" he asked, his mouth inches from the pointed tip at the bottom of Kat's breastplate. 

" _Please_ ," they entreated, pushing Elim's head forward eagerly. When he ran his tongue down the bead-like protrusions along the plate's edge, Kat moaned and arched their back. 

"Is your breastplate anything like Kardasi neck ridges, in terms of being an erogenous zone?" he heard Julian ask. Elim meanwhile had his eyes closed and was investigating the matter through more direct investigation. 

Kat continued to press their palm into the back of Elim's neck. "Yes... at least it's erogenous _now_ , or beginning to be." 

Elim heard the rustle of fabric as Julian too removed his top. "Good. And your forehead... is it like Kardasi facial ridges, like the _chufa_?"

Kat's chin pressed into Elim's forehead as they lowered their head and purred in appreciation. Apparently Julian was now testing his hypothesis.  

Kat began to slowly writhe from side to side like a snake, and then as Julian and Elim continued their ministrations, to hiss in Arakajane. The language had always sounded too packed with vowels for hissing, but apparently this was a special variant. 

Elim turned fully over, dragging one leg up over Kat's groin. "Are we helping?"

Kat grasped him by the hair and pulled him in for a kiss. "You have _no_ idea."

* * *

So they continued for the next hour, caressing, exploring, and kissing, all of it quite mutual. Kat proved an excellent kisser, with a tongue longer than any species Elim had been with before. 

It was a delight to explore other parts of their body as well, including their hair, which was coarse in back but smoother and straighter on the sides from being constantly worked into braids. Much of Kat's personal scent came from these lovely dark locks, Elim discovered. 

As delightful as all this was, Kat eventually pointed out that they had not had dinner and wondered if they could have a little something to keep them going overnight.

Elim volunteered to make up a tray and also bring up a bottle of kanar. After kissing both Julian and Kat's foreheads, he slipped out on his errand, wishing he didn't have to go. They were just getting started and it was already beginning to overwhelm him. _So_ good!

When he returned to the bedroom, it was to find Julian and Kat lying parallel on the bed, on their sides, Julian's pants now off, each with their face at the other’s groin. They didn't appear to be doing anything sexual.  

"Supper?" Elim asked, setting the tray down at the end of the bed. "That is, unless I'm interrupting something?"

Kat chuckled. "Thank you. Sorry, I know this must look strange, or look like something it's not, but I really wanted to see, ah... you know." 

Pouring himself a glass of kanar, Elim nodded. "Ah. I think I _do_ see. Well, don't let me stop you, but the food's here."

Kat begin to eat, distractedly, with one hand, while examining Julian at close range. "This is what it's like all the time?" they questioned softly.  

"Not _all_ the time," Julian huffed. "In fact, if you keep on looking at it, your mere proximity might cause some change. Let alone if you do anything else."

As if on cue, Julian's cock began to thicken. Sitting down carefully behind him, Elim slipped him a small glass of kanar. When Julian bent his neck take a sip, Elim took the nearest earlobe between his lips. Julian held the glass steady but released a trembling moan. 

"I see how it's changing," Kat said. "Could I...?" 

Elim and Julian both looked down; Kat was extending one of their long, elegant hands out towards Julian's lengthening cock.

Julian drew in a long deep breath through his nose. "Please," he sighed. 

From this point, Kat demonstrated that although they might not yet be capable of experiencing full arousal themself, their curiosity and generosity was fully capable of inspiring arousal in others. 

First they worked on Julian, initially under the guise of wanting to get to know his body, but then soon, it was fairly obvious, with great enjoyment and a sense of accomplishment. Still, they seemed surprised when the climax came, their face wet, long tongue darting out to sample the taste. "Oh! I wasn't expecting that!"

"You weren't?" Julian panted. " _I_ was. Wow." He reached forward and mussed Kat's hair. "Thank you." 

With Elim it was much the same; in the beginning Kat wanted an overview of anatomy. Then they wanted a brief demonstration. But once they got the idea, they were quite ready to use their hands and mouth. When Julian begin to bite and scratch along Elim’s neck ridges at the same time, he felt he might be on the brink of passing out. Kat seemed to know exactly how to please his prUt – however they intuited it, they were spot on. When the moment finally came, Elim saw and felt a field of silver stars. 

He made a conscious effort to make sure that the pleasure-giving was not all one way. Kat loved having their hair stroked, loved light caresses to their lower back, and above all loved any attention to their breastplate. They weren't anywhere near up to readiness sexually, they murmured, but so much touching was the best way to get them there.  

Once Julian and Elim had reached a state of repletion, Kat suggested they anoint themselves with a dose of pheromones and get to bed.  

"I may wake up a few times," he said, "but you should get your rest. When you wake up in the morning, I'm fairly confident I'll be ready for you." 

They didn't have to say that twice. In five minutes, they'd anointed themselves with more pheromones and settled under the covers, one on each side of their new lover. 

* * *

When Elim woke, it wasn't morning. No light came through the windows, not even around the blinds, and he could hear Julian's soft, slow breathing.

But someone else was awake.

A soft, warm hand on his hip. "Elim." The hand squeezed his buttock. "I know it's selfish, but I was hoping one of you would wake up soon." 

Their legs were already partially entangled; now Elim took Kat by the shoulders and drew them in for a kiss. "And why's that?"

Kat scissored their legs sinuously against Elim's. "Because I think I'm ready to give you a _preview performance_ ," they purred. 

Elim had to stifle a laugh with his hand. "How long were you awake, saving that line?"

"I didn't save it up, I made it up on the spot!” they protested lightly, voice lowered. “I'll have you know, there was a long tradition of ribald humor on Arakajan!"

Elim tilted his head back and blinked his eyes rapidly to keep back more laughter. "I'll take your word for it." 

But Kat was quite serious about the "preview performance." They drew Elim's hand away from where it rested on his chin and brought it toward their waist. " _Feel_."

Reverently, Elim extended his fingers into the vale between Kat's legs. Where hours earlier there had been only a map, there was now an entire terrain – soft, damp, and apparently eager to be touched. 

Kat gasped and pressed themself into the hand. Their pleasure centers were now up and running, and it seemed the more pleasure they had to work with, the more they wanted. Kat pulled Elim's hand firmly against their groin. "Could you...?" they breathed.

Elim let his fingers explore. While no more words were spoken, Kat's movements and small sounds provided an excellent guide. Slow, strong muscle contractions gripped him, not frantic but powerful. As fluid began to run down their thighs, Kat whispered the Kardasi word for _world_. Elim was briefly puzzled – that is until they reached out and caressed his _ajan_. Oh. _Oh_. 

"How would you like to do this?" he murmured, blooming easily into Kat's dexterous hand. 

"I would gather," they whispered back, already moving to straddle him, "that I have to be on top." They positioned Elim's prUt like it was something they did every day and slid down on it. "Which is perfectly acceptable," they gasped. 

There were no incompatibility issues between Arakajane and Kardasi anatomy. Kat was able to be completely accommodating. As soon as they began to move together, neither one of them could remain silent. Elim gripped Kat's firm ass and pulled it onto himself just as much as they thrust themself onto him.

Finally Julian woke up and with a murmured morning greeting, came up on one side and began to press hungry kisses to Elim's aural ridges, neck, shoulders, before shifting up to go after Kat. Then he moved back to Elim again. After several shifts back and forth, Julian took Kat in his arms. Watching their deep kisses, feeling Kat pulse around him, writhing and rolling around his _irlun_ , brought Elim over the edge. He spasmed upward and tugged both his partners toward him as he roared.  

Julian fell just to the side but Kat, remaining on top, had their tongue down Elim's throat and continued to writhe. "Oh, Elim..." they panted, "that was exquisite. But would you mind... if I got off you? I'm not finished."

Elim tilted Kat's head forward and licked their high forehead. "Of course I don't mind. I’ll still be here, and I can watch. Maybe I can even help."

Once disengaged, Kat shifted to their back and guided Julian, who was already quite ready, on top. "I'm not sure I can take it all," they said, "so go slow at first." 

And they did go slow at the beginning, but it soon proved that there were no incompatibilities between Human and Arakajane anatomy either. Or if there were any, Kat enjoyed them.

"I've never been filled like this in my life," they mewled, as Julian began to fuck them hard.

Elim realized Julian actually couldn't have this type of sex with him, but rather than feeling in any way upset, he was aroused.

After watching from the sidelines for several minutes, Elim got up on his knees behind Julian. Lubricating his fingers with fluid from his  _ajan_ , he spread apart Julian's cheeks. "May I finger you?" he growled into his ear, licking and sucking on the lobe as he did so.  

"Please," Julian grunted, evidently nearing his peak. 

Elim wasted no time, reaching two fingers inside and curling them just so, until he reached that nub that generally made Julian completely incoherent. Meanwhile with his other hand, he reached for his _prUt_. Within a few panting breaths all of them - Kat caught up fortuitously in the wave – all came to an overwhelming and noisy climax.

The sun still hadn't come up. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Further notes:
> 
> 1) I had pretty much this entire this entire story outlined in advance of writing it. On the latest outline, I swear the entire summary of this chapter is: "[ sex ]" Accurate!
> 
> 2) I wrote half of this chapter either while I was on the bus or while I was walking down the sidewalk – I dictated it on my iPhone (not on the bus, but outside if no people walking nearby). I've written almost all of this that way, but I thought it as especially funny because here I was today on a Sunday morning, walking down the street dictating this "action scene." 
> 
> 3) This is far from my first time writing smut, but I'm happier with this than I usually am. I tried to strike a balance between being explicit and -not- dwelling on every single little moment. Because then it just loses passion, IMO. I also didn't want to make it about Kat's anatomy at all, because my thought is actually they're pretty normal, nothing really to describe specifically.
> 
> 3) Speaking of Kat, I'm also pleased I've worked them up from a character who goes from (what Garak thinks of) as asexual to someone who, it turns out, is actually damn good in bed. Ha ha ha, Elim! 
> 
> Comments welcome. And thank you for all those Kudos!


	15. The Luckiest Man

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I started this chapter after work today, unsure if it would be the last but thinking maybe... maybe... and indeed, yes, it is. It came sooner than I expected, but not in a bad way. Honestly, my original outline (two different versions) had more complications and misunderstandings than this, so the dénouement was considerably longer. There was also a cheesy epilog. But the way the characters worked out their issues, this wasn't necessary. They figured things out all on their own!
> 
> Thanks everybody who has supported me in this, my first Cardassia story and by far the longest DS9 fic I've ever written or posted. 
> 
> I have another DS9 story already mapped out, but my life schedule is crammed at the moment so I probably won't get started on it 'til 2/3 of the way through the month (Unless I do...) The story will be titled "Exile for Two" and is Garak/Bashir set on DS9. It popped into my head a couple of weeks ago full blown as I was taking a shower (what is it about showers?) and I wanted to start on it right away, but instead I made myself outside the entire story in detail. So I can write it -later-.

The sex wasn't all like that, frenzied, fast, and all three of them at once. No, some of the sex was gentle, languorous. And sometimes it was just Julian and Kat, while Elim watched, and sometimes it was Julian who watched. Once Kat had watched _them_. A few times it was just Kat and one of them in the room, as there were times when tending to other matters was unavoidable. But whatever kind of sex they had, there was a lot of it, all crammed into two days, which was how long Kat said they expected _karakten_ to last.  

There were necessary interruptions for all of them, unfortunately. 

That first morning, shortly after falling asleep in the dark, they been woken by Mila's cries, coming over the baby monitor. Julian had gotten up and taken care of her; Elim and Kat dozed off again. When Julian returned, the sun was up and he had a tray full of breakfast foods and tea. After eating, Kat got up and sent a message to the library director and colleagues saying they would be out. 

Julian wasn't back at work yet, so he didn't have to worry about contacting an employer, but Elim had a couple meetings that first afternoon and a classes to teach the next day. He was torn over what to do and looked to both Julian and Kat for advice. Both of them told him to skip the meetings, to call in sick, which wasn't unexpected. He was surprised, however, when Kat told him to teach his classes. Not only did he owe it to the students, they said, but by then they wouldn't be quite so needy. Surely Julian could manage a couple of hours without him? Elim let himself be persuaded. 

In between such interruptions, tending to Mila, eating, and sex – in truth, when they needed a break from the sex but didn't feel like sleeping – they talked. 

Kat talked the most. It was like a dam had broken inside them and a vast lake of feelings and memories came pouring out from inside. These weren't bad memories either, but ones so bittersweet they rarely been able to talk about them before. But now they did. About their adolescence, early days at the _karakten_ house, how they'd met Iki, what Iki had done with them in bed. (This followed by Elim and/or Julian offering to try whatever it was.) 

"I feel, now, like all this time, I haven't been myself," Kat mused. "It's true, _karakten_ makes up only a few days of every year, not much, so it shouldn't be a big part of who we are... but I think it must be. I feel... _whole_."

"Do you think this feeling will last afterward?" Julian asked, drawing a single finger down Kat's angular cheek. 

"I don't know," they answered. "I don't know how a lot of things are going to turn out after this. But I'll try to be optimistic."

That was the one of the topics they actually steered clear of for the moment: _What would happen after this?_ Kat mentioned several times how grateful they were and how very much they were enjoying themself. But they also acted as though all of this was simply a favor and not something that would necessarily be repeated. Elim wondered if they thought the whole affair was just a science experiment. Did they not understand that he and Julian had developed actual feelings for them? 

Of course that was the crux of it. When first talking of this, he and Julian _had_ been discussing it as a medical problem. Only later had both of them recognized the attraction they harbored for Kat, and that it was mutual. And only now was Elim grasping that his feelings ran even deeper. He wondered if it was the same for Julian. 

But this was all something to discuss later. For those two days, all three were more than content to touch and be touched, to writhe, to moan, to climb to the lips of invisible cliffs and dive down knowing they'd fly down on wings of cloud.  

* * *

Two days after it had begun, it was over.  They'd just finished dinner in the bedroom, where Kat had eaten all their meals, since as far as the rest of the house was concerned, they weren’t there. Kat finished their glass of wine and setting it down, announced that would like to make love again, but sadly this would have to be the last time. 

It was on the tip of Elim's tongue to ask "Are you sure?" but he realized what a foolish question that would be. Of course Kat was sure. They'd gone through this literally 100 times. More times than that actually. They surely knew when _karakten_ was ending. 

So they did it one more time, and this time both he and Julian focused on nothing but Kat's pleasure. Soon they wouldn't be able to experience it, after all. So anything they could give them, they did. Kat moaned, shuddered, nearly wept, and finally came, after a crescendo like a frenzied orchestra. 

Afterwards Kat grew very tired, which they said was completely normal. They would fall asleep for a few hours and when they woke up, their body would be mostly back to normal, un-sexed. 

Julian and Elim didn't have to stay with them. They could've left and gone to the library, outside to the garden, down to the kitchen. But they chose to stay, curling up around Kat as they dozed off. Shortly after, they dozed off themselves.  

* * *

"That's something you both should know," Elim offered confidentially the next morning over breakfast.  

"What's that?" Julian asked, setting down his tea.  

"Inda knows what's going on," he supplied. As expected Kat and Julian looked both surprised and uncomfortable.

"She guessed it the first night, clever girl. Know why Mila didn't bother us until the morning? Because Inda saw Kat come in here and never saw them leave, then put two and two together. She’d had suspicions for a bit just watching us together. Anyway, the first night, a couple of hours after we retired, she took Mila back into her own bedroom for a few hours so that if she fussed she could take care of her right away – and we would never hear her on the baby monitor. She did in fact wake up and need changing and feeding, but Inda took care of it. Then she put her back again before dawn, which is actually when we heard her cry." 

Julian rubbed the side of his face. "So our subterfuge was for nothing? At least, nothing where she was concerned?"

Elim chucked. "It seems not. She took me aside this morning as I was putting together this breakfast tray. She says she didn't want me to feel we had to hide it from her, since first of all she already had figured it out, and second of all she doesn't have much of a problem with it."

"She doesn't?" Kat asked. "I thought she would."

Elim shook his head. "She knows you, Kat, and she knows us, and I think that probably overrides any objections she might have to how this all relates to typical Kardasi customs." 

"And she doesn't even know anything about your biology, Kat," Julian pointed out. "If she did, she probably even more sympathetic."

Elim couldn't help but notice that Kat seemed troubled by the discussion. Why wouldn't they be happy for someone to have a guessed of their relationship?

He took Kat's hand. "Dear, what is it? I thought you would be pleased to know that you wouldn't have to hide or sneak around here on future visits." He felt Kat's hand tense up in his. "Since Inda knows, and won't be telling anyone, you can be perfectly open next time."

Now Kat withdrew their hand and crossed their arms across their chest. "But that's just it," they said. "Elim, you seem to take it as a foregone conclusion that we're going to be together again in future – 'next time,' as you put it."

"But aren't we?" Julian burst out. 

"I don't know," Kat huffed. "I'm confused. You two are married. As I understand it, that doesn't normally allow room for anyone else. You did me a very special favor by opening up your relationship and helping me out here, but I expected it would be over after this."

Elim looked down at Kat's hand, now resting against the blankets. "Do you want it to be over?"

Kat opened their mouth, then shut it. They considered for a few seconds, then took a deep breath. "I personally would love to continue... seeing both of you. And if I could be with you again next _karakten_ , that would be my wish. I had assumed it was impossible."

Julian slipped an arm around one of Kat's shoulders and gestured for Elim to take the other side. "It's unconventional, but not impossible." 

* * *

Later, through further discussion, they worked out specific terms and guidelines for their relationship, to be subject to change as appropriate. 

Elim and Julian would hold the primary relationship, while Kat would remain close but secondary for most of the time. They'd be a friend, visit often, babysit, share confidences, but would live apart with no “formal” status. And naturally, only during _karakten_ would they share a bed. Julian was concerned that Kat would be put off by such boundaries, but in fact they seemed to welcome them, saying it let them know what to expect. 

Something else they discussed was how they would appear to others – who would know and who would not. Having Inda know was one thing. To reduce suspicion and questions from the younger children during the next _karakten_ visit, they would make it look as if Kat was simply visiting a few nights, staying in the guest bedroom. Elim warned it was possible Dyrum might guess the truth, but they would deal with that issue only if it arose. 

As for anyone else knowing, they decided against it. From the outside, no one would guess. The couple had a good friend whom each of them spent time with, both separately and together. Their friend frequently visited the house, was close to the family, and babysat their infant child. These things are all true but would not necessarily lead anyone into thinking there was a relationship. And yet there would be a relationship and they would enjoy it for all it was worth.

"Be honest, Kat," Julian urged. "Will it bother you? Having to use a little bit of subterfuge? Not being able to tell people the whole truth?"

Elim wanted to laugh and Kat actually _did_ laugh. "Doctor, in the course of knowing me, you've seen me blatantly lie or obfuscate around my name, my gender, my age, and my sexual biology. Don't be obtuse. Of course I can use subterfuge. Particularly in support of _this_ cause!"

"Oh... right." For just a moment, Elim saw a flash of the sometimes clueless young officer Julian had been when they first met. "When you put it that way, I guess that was sort of a stupid question."

"Not at all, dear," Elim soothed, albeit teasingly. "You just can't help it that somehow you still have some qualms about obfuscation, despite having pulled off an elaborate obfuscation that lasted nearly twenty years."

And mention of the ruse surrounding his genetic enhancements, Julian flushed. "Point taken. So, Kat, you really don't mind?"

"Of course I don't mind. Whatever people know or don't know, I still have you both. I don't need to be standing on the high tower waving a flag about it. You're quite enough in and of yourselves."

Once again, Elim felt like the luckiest man on Kardasia.

**The End**

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments very welcome, either on this chapter or on the work as a whole.


End file.
